请大家给我这篇TWE点建议,越多越好,11月1日考***急啊*****

xiaoxiong123

我不是牛人，就是给一点初步的意见

第一段没看懂要说什么， 是不是有点跑题阿

As my
                saying (应该用I said，saying 指谚语) above, ancient economic(经济的， 啥意思不懂) was not very flourish like today ( as flourish as today) and mainly belonged to local or national economy (古代经济的属于经济？实在不懂这句话啥意思啊). trade between country and countries(这个怎么用了两个country)was pretty(可以这么用么) rare. Of course(最好以后都别用这个词, 这里用and 就可以), people always (usually) choose the traditional way to realize (achieve) their goals in that days, such as study hard and plan carefully
                on their academy tests(plan on academy? 啥意思阿)
                as well as furthermore (把furthermore去了吧) acquiring such high score in national organized

test so that they would be recruited in (assigned to )royal court, which is common method utilized by our ancestors （前面说了always choose了，这里不用重复）not suitable for our generation（us）.