第一次发作文，劳烦大家帮忙改改。请zdlukeluck,jojo

zdlukeluck

The first movie was born on 1895 and it has been around more than 100 years. From early silent movies to present Hollywood’s hi-tech fiction movies（用blockbusters这个词可以避免和movie的重复）, film industry saw great changes（has seen great changes in many ways）. Movies has entered into our life and affected our life. Nowadays(不要在用nowadays了,下次记住用currently替换), movies are not only a tool to make fun(make fun是开玩笑,的意思,这里可以用movie is not something only plays a role as a kind of entertainment, 还有就是表示一个概念的时候用单数), but also a serious works to instruct(instruct的准确意思是教某人干某事，这里好像不太恰当，还是就用teach吧) people about life, happiness. Almost every thing occurs in our life. Although serious movies secure enormous educational meanings, as a young man I still more like   light-hearted(这个词好！) movies. （其实能用however或者nevertheless的时候就不要用although,一是although的转折没有那么强，二是表意不是很充分）

第一段整体而言还是不错的，没有明显的模版痕迹，而且还写了点电影的历史来流畅的引出你要讨论的东西，这些希望继续发扬！

The first reason（第一段的开头是不错的,但是后面如果用the first, the second的这样的词汇就大失水准了,这里可以改为one of the paramount reason why） I prefer to watch light-hearted movies is there are more opportunity(复数) for me to obtain such movies. A majority of movie makers produce movies for money(to make money, of course). Since(since这里不用,用Indubitably替代) serious movies have less market than those light-hearted(light-hearted是个很好的词,但是不要一直用,这里可以在movies后面加定从which can easily provide the mainstream with the craved relaxation and laugh) movies. Most movie makers prefer to make light-heated movies(Hence the choice of movie makers-amusing movies). Result from such phenomenon. light-hearted movies are more popular than serious movies. A statistic released by a famous film website shows that more than 80 percent movies made in last year are produced for entertaining audiences rather than make the audience think. (这里的表达比较缺乏条理)

The second reason
                is most people watch films(这里建议用movies,因为这是美式英语) just for fun and relaxation. However, serious films mainly focus on the educational meaning. The entertaining factors are (therefore) impaired. The audiences hardly(barely) derive the purpose of ease from such films. Just imagine(Suppose that更好), after one week’s hard(arduous) working you are going to watch a film(movie) with your friends. What type(genre用在这里更好,因为genre可以专门用来表示电影,音乐,绘画等的种类) of film(movie) do your prefer? A comfy comedy or a tedious serious movie? For the(the去掉) most people(a multitude of us), the answer is former, definitely(undoubtedly).

Lastly(To such reasons, another must be added), I prefer to choose comfy movies is due to my favorite actor is a comedian. He is well-known in my country. His works(masterpieces) always(invariably) bring happiness to audiences. When I feel depression(depressed, 这里也可以用名词来形容:Every time I plummet into depression, his amusing performance never fails to cheer me up) his works always make me relief.

Although, the serious film secures educational meaning and it often make people think about his life(their lives,这里要特别提醒,以后出现someone或者one这种泛指”人”的概念的时候,后面接名词所有格时一定是his/her同时出现而不是只有一个his,因为如果你只写his,会被一些女权主义者认为你有性别歧视,而ETS的人很多都是很女权的哟!). For such people who watch film just for fan, the serious movie totally can not compete with comfy film.

(结尾一般般,而且最后一句并没有很好的再次重申你的观点)

楼主的词汇还要加油!依旧不厌其烦推荐我的词汇替换

然后是副词和插入语,你的作文里边根本没有,以后要注意多用副词和插入语

开头的模式不错,要继续坚持

zdlukeluck

 好好考吧!

 插入语和副词要注意呀!