『写作小分队』求各位大神轰炸，板砖，不吝赐教～

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  独立
          What is the most prevalent mass media in the world, the TV and movies may come into our mind at the first time. Indeed, they are playing more and more significant role in daily life-the young are fond of the exciting cartoons, the middle-age people desire the TV show for entertainment after the burden work; the elder are accustomed to chatting with peers about the news happened all over the world. Undeniably, TV and Movies have stepped in our world and being a part of our life. Nevertheless, according to the special group-the young, I, after careful contemplation, maintain that Movies and TV have more negative effects on them.
              Due to the recent survey, catching up with the TV shows conspires to make us sedentary. The young people who spend large number of time planted in front of TV may confront with enormous healthy problems. Obesity and short-sight are surging. For example, Mike, who is my friend, used to spend 20 hours a week on watching TV, and did not go out for doing some exercises. After several months, he couldnot watch the blackboard clearly and gain weight extremely. Consequently, he failed in the final examination of both physical class and academic classes. In this case, the parents would better ban their children watching TV for a long time because it only takes a toll on the collective health but also on their studying.
                In addition, the violent plot and bloody scene set an awful exemplar to the young. The young are along the way to establish the comprehensive world outlook. They are sensitive to the outside environment. However, the fact is that it is difficult for them to pick up the right and positive information from TVs and movies. Take a new as an example, a boy recently have murdered 8 people in Henan province. What shocks us a lot is that he regarded himself as a criminal whose task is to kill people as much as possible since he just wanted to intimate the plot on movies. In China, even though authority has taken many measures to limit the blue and bloody plots appearing on TV, it's inevitably for children to get access to them. Moreover, their parents are always busy with work and let children alone to staying at home, the negative influence like virus can easily invade children's world and makes them turn bad.
                 In sum, even granted the great contribution of TV and movies as the mess media, in the case of such problems, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages for children, which brings about the healthy problems along with their wrong world outlook.

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综合
        The lecturer is taking about the ecocertification, he believes that the American companies are bound to seek the ecocertification for the wood product. This lecture refutes the reading passage thoroughly.
        Firstly, the reading passage reckons that as American consumers are always exposed to the advertisements, which results in the untrust from consumers, even the ecocertification product. On the contrary, the speaker considers that the products that have the ecocertification are different from other products. People have more confidence on such products. This directly contradicts what the passage suggests.
        Secondly, the passage explains that ecocertified wood will be more expensive than normal wood, thus the consumers tend to choose cheaper ones. However, the lectures argues that unless the price of ecocertified wood is much higher than the unecocertified one, the American prefer to buy the recycling material as their awareness of nature preservation enhances day by day. This is another point where go against the passage.
        Thirdly, the author suggests it is only significant for the output American wood businesses to obtain the certification. This is against the lecture that in order to avoid foreign corporation to encroach the domestic market in the USA, the American company definitely are necessary to improve their competiveness versus the foreign companies.

kchszy061ban

我偷懒看奥运了，早上起来就看到孙杨夺金，没忍住看了。 结果又有其他的比赛。。。。。。。

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

When it comes to the importance of personal connection in society, Chinese people have the voice extremely. An increasing number of people believe dependence on the help from relatives and friends, it's easy for them to find a fantastic job in society. According to this opinion, nearly half of people reckon that handling relationship with other people well is more important than studying hard at school. However, I, after careful contemplation, maintain that the real competiveness from the school is more useful.
         No matter how powerful your parents are, and no matter how sophisticated you are, first of all, the great company always focuses on your performance in your school. Thus, the GPA, research ability and activity performance are the factors the interviewees trend to take into consideration. Obviously, what is emphasized by the great corporations is your ability of learning. In order to meet the rigor requirement, it is inevitable for the students to work hard to achieve higher scores. Every company owns its discipline, if you are not qualified for the level of the company, it is not likely to pass the interview no matter how sincerely related with the executives. From this case, it is more reliable to obtain acknowledgement by excellent presentation of your colorful （academic）lives in the school.
         In addition, there is far more practical knowledge that can be obtained in the university than we used to think. Commonly, the university is now a transitional period（place）before we get in deep touch of society, and the authority gradually pays more attention to the function of future university. The courses, such as how to figure out the relationship between people, how to be well involved in a team, are already open in many university. Take my course as an example, the professor teaches what is the key character of leaders in a team, he lets us to act as the leader to design the blueprint of company and to makes the meeting with all employers. In this aspect, school studying not only offers students basic knowledge but also the way to tackle relationship. Hence, these is no denying that school studying is conductive to teenagers’ comprehensive growth.
Yet, throughout the life, large amounts of the people are bound to step in your circle, each one acts a different role. Someone block your way to success, the other help you go through gloomy time. Anyway, there is long way to go, especially, for us-who have not unveiled the magic veil of society. （其实这个和主题的联系没有显示出来额。）
         In sum, studying hard in school is the most urgent affairs for our students, which equips us with the weapon like knowledge, practical skills, and vitality.

很好了，一个小建议就是每段都有一个小例子来说明会更好额。随便举一个身边人的例子，或者自己编一个身边人的例子来说明就好。

hjl80959

8.6 独立
             Concomitant with the rapid development of modern society along with the past gloomy depression of economy, economy has been one of the most important factors that represent the comprehensive strength of a country. As the saying goes: economical basis determines superstructure, people regard the economics as the most promising fields in the world due to economic gradual resurgence all over world. Consequently, many people consider that high school students should take a course on basic economics. From this prospective, I, after careful contemplation, am on extremely behalf on this proposal.
             First of all, it is helpful for high school students to combine their basic science knowledge with practical application. In Chinese high school students, students are always complaining about lack of practical knowledge in the class, which makes them doubt with goal of studying. If the basic economics is likely to be added in the curriculum, students will have chances to figure out the practical problems with knowledge they own. For example, recently, in a high school of own city, the school conducts activity-how to take advantage of the mathematic model to solve a simple economics. Surprisingly, even majority of participants failed to work out the problems, in the interview after that activity, most of students spoken highly of the activity and implied that they had learnt a lot during this experience, which stimulated their enthusiasm of studying. Yet in high school, the common phenomenon is that parents and authority extremely insist on the significance of basic courses like mathematic, physic, Chinese and English. Indeed, these courses are concerned with pivotal examination, however, there is no denying that basic economics can improve comprehensive understanding of whole courses.
              In addition, the basic economics can help students to develop an interest in economy and to think about their future direction. In instead of being forced to pick up a major in a tense time before the college entrance examination, students can justify whether the economics is their favorable major or not when they are studying in the class. Moreover, as teachers will take about distinct roles of different fields in the economics, students are able to establish a latent impression about desirable major. After class, if some of them have determined to be dedicated to such fields, undeniably, they are bound to obtain information from library. From this case, the basic economics is conductive to aid students understand what they need.
              In sum, the basic economics is a colorful course included with many information, which let students apply basic knowledge and find orientation of life.

ykhjy

8.5 综合修改
蓝色模版，黄色需修改，红色修改，绿色总结
The lecturer is taking about the ecocertification, he believes that the American companies are bound to seek the ecocertification for the wood product. This lecture refutes the reading passage thoroughly.
Firstly,the reading passage reckons that as American consumers are always exposed to the advertisements, which results in the untrust from consumers, even the ecocertification product. On the contrary, the speaker considers that the products that have the ecocertification are different from other products. People have more confidence on such products. This directly contradicts what the passage suggests.
Secondly, the passage explains that ecocertified wood will be more expensive than  normal wood, thus the consumers tend to choose cheaper ones. However, the lectures argues that unless the price of ecocertified wood is much higher than the unecocertified one, the American prefer to buy the recycling material as their awareness of nature preservation enhances day by day. This is another point where go against the passage.
Thirdly, the author suggests it is only significant for the output American wood businesses to obtain the certification. This is against the lecture that in order to avoid foreign corporation to encroach the domestic market in the USA, the American company definitely are necessary to improve their competiveness versus the foreign companies.

【结构很清晰，每一段都点明了文章与lecture相对立的地方，而且过程很概括，lz的综合很好啊~ 不过昨天不是TPO3么。】

hjl80959

原8.5    独立 tpo 3            
           The lecture is taking about that after re-examination of painting, the experts regard Portrait of an Elderly Woman attributed to Rembrandt. The lecture refutes the passages thoroughly.
           Firstly, the passage explains that the inconsistence in the woman’s dress represents it is not a work by Rembrandt as he paid much attention to this aspect. On the contrary, the lecture claims that in order to increase value of the paintings, after a hundred years, someone painted over the original layer of fur collar. This directly contradicts what passage suggests.
           Secondly, the passage reckons that light and shadow in the painting do not fit well. However, the speakers argues that after removing the added paint, we could find simple color of the painting, and the light of collar reflected to woman’ partial face. This another point goes against the passage.
           Finally, the passages believe that Rembrandt often painted on single wood panel rather than a panel glued by several pieces. This is against that in order to add paint and to make painting grand and valuable, some pieces were put together by the other. In fact, the original wood panel was from the same tree used for the panel of another painting.

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8.6  综合写作
          The lecture is taking about that three reasons all can not prove that the dinosaurs are endoderms, which refutes the lecture thoroughly.
          Firstly, the passage explains that as dinosaurs fossils have been unearthed in polar regions, and only animals that can maintain a temperature can be adapt to that environment. On the contrary, the lecture argues demonstrates that in ancient years, temperature in polar region was warmer than today. Moreover, it is possible for dinosaurs to migrant to warm areas or to hibernate. That directly contradicts what passage suggests.
          Secondly, the passage claims that legs underneath body is obvious evidence to support that they are endotherms. However, the speaker argues that this position of dinosaurs is just to support more weight because dinosaurs need grow to large side. This is another part goes against what the passage presents.
          Thirdly, author reckons that bones of endotherms usually include Haversian canals, presence of Haversian canals in bones is an good indication. This is against the fact that dinosaurs also have grown rings, which stop them to grow in cool period. The growth period of dinosaurs is a circle- rapid to slow to rapid.
         Above all, the dinosaurs are not endotherms.

小兔爱twins

The lecture is taking about that three reasons all can not prove that the dinosaurs are endoderms, which refutes the lecture thoroughly.
         Firstly, the passage explains that as dinosaurs fossils have been unearthed in polar regions, and only animals that can maintain a temperature can be adapt to that environment. On the contrary, the lecture argues demonstrates that in ancient years, temperature in polar region was warmer than today. Moreover, it is possible for dinosaurs to migrant to warm areas or to hibernate. That directly contradicts what passage suggests.没问题
         Secondly, the passage claims that legs underneath body is obvious evidence to support that they are endotherms. However, the speaker argues that this position of dinosaurs is just to support more weight because dinosaurs need grow to large side. This is another part goes against what the passage presents.（没问题）
         Thirdly, author reckons that bones of endotherms usually include Haversian canals, presence of Haversian canals in bones is an good indication. This is against the fact that dinosaurs also have grown rings, which stop them to grow in cool period. The growth period of dinosaurs is a circle- rapid to slow to rapid. （这段有点说的不太清楚可以稍微修改一下）

hjl80959

 8.7独立  
 How can we have an access to the success rapidly? How can we solve the problems we confront with efficiently? As the old saying goes that: the history is like a mirror, and it can reflect the errors you have and tell you want to do in the future. Indeed, coincident with the increasing development of society, people have to face to different issues everyday, which confuses them extremely. In the eyes of the better solution, I, after careful contemplation, am on behalf that people should review the past so as to handle the present and future problems.
           First and foremost, it's difficult for people to figure all key points of enormous problems without reference to the history. Nowadays, it is necessary to deal with large amount of work. If one part in the process goes wrong, the whole task may fall into a thorny dilemma. Moreover, the basic fact is that people should take much time to pick up the minors that paralyses the entire work. Nevertheless, the history always has an astonishing similar. Reference to superior accomplishment of other people aids us tackle trouble quickly. For example, when I was taking the IBT composition examination last time, I achieved a low score which gave me a shock. In no case can I accept that grade. However, after reading the standard for evaluation these days, I came to know matters that I did not emphasize the theme of topic and wrote something digressive. Hence, reviewing the past is conductive to guiding me seek out the problems I have and make progress.
          In addition, Learning from the past makes us to study some faults and ridiculous explanation, furthermore, through the deep understanding of the ancient people, we can compensate for flaws in our characters. In China, people used to believe that a ghost does exist in the world, and change of climate, along with the nature disasters, are the punishment of immortals. Consequently, these nature phenomena can be completely explained by advanced science so that less and less people are unlikely to be cheated by the so-call theurgy. Ancient people states that it is helpful for us to examine body, words and deeds in the past, in the other word, it still reminds us the importance for reviewing the past.
           In sum, granted the presentation of the advantages above, we can have a deep understanding of the nature and ourselves, at the same time, we can find a proper solution through learning.