拖延症老人终于下决心开写了，求砖拍，求鄙视

zombiee

我来插楼，僵尸先生加油！顺祝端午快乐！

-- by 会员 phoebe0624 (2012/6/23 19:19:29)

呦，端午快乐！！哈哈

DanielleZ

6.23

Have you ever read a book downloaded on your mobile phone or tablet computer anywhere you have time? Have you ever taken your online course via remote education network and sat in front of your screen to discuss or answer questions through microphone? Have you ever learned a foreign language by wearing your earphones to listen to the native speakers at any spare time? If you have never had such experiences, you would never know easier now to become educated than in the past.

No one can deny the fact that a person’s education is the most important aspect of his or her life. Thanks to the developed science and technology today, increasing education tools and material fill our minds with the latest knowledge and information. Nowadays education can be obtained at any time and at any place. “Knowledge is power”, whatever you want to learn, just search it on Internet, which connected with famous universities in the world, know-it-all encyclopedia, and professors service in any institute. Living in “information explosion age”, human race get what they eager to know more easily and efficiently. For instance, one high school in the state of Taxes in U.S. emancipates students from classroom, in other words, to free the students to accomplish their textbooks content in any way they like. This is a huge step to bring the children to the realistic world and educate them use the modern tools and whatever they acquire to inform themselves. They visit the real factory, study the technology in practice, and obtain knowledge more vividly and impressively to shed the restricted inhibition of the preaches by teachers. In fact, it is now easier to become educated than in the past due to the dramatic change in modern society and progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades.

To the contrary, education is hard to obtain in the past. According to the historical recording , human race experienced a pains-taking path to obtain knowledge. Not to mention the prehistory times, in the last century, only a few people who are well financed and born in noble can have the right to be educated. The birthright to be educated equally has not been realized until a few decades ago, especially to women, the poor, and the disabled. Moreover, the only way to impart knowledge is to preach it in the class by teachers. Even worse is the person who cannot afford to school has no means to self-educated, due to the pains-taking effort to earn his or her life and isolation to the knowledge in expensive books.

Although the path to the wisdom and knowledge has been paved by science and technology, it must be admitted that, shortage of funds is still the one of the biggest questions that students nowadays have to face because that tuition fees and prices of books are soaring by the day. Increasing number of students at campus still have to take part-time jobs during their school time or pay their loan after graduation, let alone the drop-outs who have to give up their degree because of shortage of funds. However, this is the inevitable path to let everyone have their right of education. The cost of education is decreasing by the day.

From what has been discussed above, the conclusion that people are now easier to become educated than in the past can be safely draw.

-- by 会员 zombiee (2012/6/23 13:10:48)

僵尸先生现在开头喜欢用排比哈~学习，学习

包子不包子

6.23

Have you ever read a book downloaded on your mobile phone or tablet computer anywhere you have time? Have you ever taken your online course via remote education network and sat in front of your screen to discuss or answer questions through microphone? Have you ever learned a foreign language by wearing your earphones to listen to the native speakers at any spare time? If you have never had such experiences, you would never know easier now to become educated than in the past是不是少了什么啊读起来怪怪的

No one can deny the fact that a person’s education is the most important aspect of his or her life. Thanks to the developed science and technology today, increasing education tools and material fill our minds with the latest knowledge and information. Nowadays education can be obtained at any time and at any place. “Knowledge is power”, whatever you want to learn, just search it on Internet, which connected with famous universities in the world, know-it-all encyclopedia, and professors service in any institute. Living in “information explosion age”, human race get what they eager to know more easily and efficiently. For instance, one high school in the state of Taxes in U.S. emancipates students from classroom, in other words, to free the students to accomplish their textbooks content in any way they like. This is a huge step to bring the children to the realistic world and educate them use the modern tools and whatever they acquire to inform themselves. They visit the real factory, study the technology in practice, and obtain knowledge more vividly and impressively to shed the restricted inhibition of the preaches by teachers. In fact, it is now easier to become educated than in the past due to the dramatic change in modern society and progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades.

To on the contrary, education is hard to obtain in the past. According to the historical recording , human race experienced a pains-taking path to obtain knowledge. Not to mention the prehistory times, in the last century, only a few people who are well financed and born in noble can have the right to be educated. The birthright to be educated equally has not been realized until a few decades ago, especially to women, the poor, and the disabled. Moreover, the only way to impart knowledge is to preach it in the class by teachers. Even worse is the person who cannot afford to school has no means to self-educated, due to the pains-taking effort to earn his or her life and isolation to the knowledge in expensive books. 再说说现在的教育情况吧

Although the path to the wisdom and knowledge has been paved by science and technology, it must be admitted that, shortage of funds is still the one of the biggest questions that students nowadays have to face because that tuition fees and prices of books are soaring up by the day. Increasing number of students at campus still have to take part-time jobs during their school time or pay their loan after graduation, let alone the drop-outs who have to give up their degree because of shortage of funds. However, this is the inevitable path to let everyone have their right of education. The cost of education is decreasing by the day.这句话和上面的联系包子没有看出来啊

From what has been discussed above, the conclusion that people are now easier to become educated than in the past can be safely draw.drew
很好的文了~ 论点相当有力 用词好好~
包子不大确定 题目里指的是people但是zombiee和我都用了不少篇幅去讨论学生的受教育情况 不只靠这样有没有风险
还有啊 zombiee能很自然地把事例过渡到论证总结 逻辑啊 包子要怎么学习唉

zombiee

6.23

Have you ever read a book downloaded on your mobile phone or tablet computer anywhere you have time? Have you ever taken your online course via remote education network and sat in front of your screen to discuss or answer questions through microphone? Have you ever learned a foreign language by wearing your earphones to listen to the native speakers at any spare time? If you have never had such experiences, you would never know easier now to become educated than in the past是不是少了什么啊读起来怪怪的

No one can deny the fact that a person’s education is the most important aspect of his or her life. Thanks to the developed science and technology today, increasing education tools and material fill our minds with the latest knowledge and information. Nowadays education can be obtained at any time and at any place. “Knowledge is power”, whatever you want to learn, just search it on Internet, which connected with famous universities in the world, know-it-all encyclopedia, and professors service in any institute. Living in “information explosion age”, human race get what they eager to know more easily and efficiently. For instance, one high school in the state of Taxes in U.S. emancipates students from classroom, in other words, to free the students to accomplish their textbooks content in any way they like. This is a huge step to bring the children to the realistic world and educate them use the modern tools and whatever they acquire to inform themselves. They visit the real factory, study the technology in practice, and obtain knowledge more vividly and impressively to shed the restricted inhibition of the preaches by teachers. In fact, it is now easier to become educated than in the past due to the dramatic change in modern society and progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades.

To on the contrary, education is hard to obtain in the past. According to the historical recording , human race experienced a pains-taking path to obtain knowledge. Not to mention the prehistory times, in the last century, only a few people who are well financed and born in noble can have the right to be educated. The birthright to be educated equally has not been realized until a few decades ago, especially to women, the poor, and the disabled. Moreover, the only way to impart knowledge is to preach it in the class by teachers. Even worse is the person who cannot afford to school has no means to self-educated, due to the pains-taking effort to earn his or her life and isolation to the knowledge in expensive books. 再说说现在的教育情况吧

Although the path to the wisdom and knowledge has been paved by science and technology, it must be admitted that, shortage of funds is still the one of the biggest questions that students nowadays have to face because that tuition fees and prices of books are soaring up by the day. Increasing number of students at campus still have to take part-time jobs during their school time or pay their loan after graduation, let alone the drop-outs who have to give up their degree because of shortage of funds. However, this is the inevitable path to let everyone have their right of education. The cost of education is decreasing by the day.这句话和上面的联系包子没有看出来啊

From what has been discussed above, the conclusion that people are now easier to become educated than in the past can be safely draw.drew
很好的文了~ 论点相当有力 用词好好~
包子不大确定 题目里指的是people但是zombiee和我都用了不少篇幅去讨论学生的受教育情况 不只靠这样有没有风险
还有啊 zombiee能很自然地把事例过渡到论证总结 逻辑啊 包子要怎么学习唉

-- by 会员 包子不包子 (2012/6/24 14:03:00)

谢谢包子的批改，包子谬赞我了，这个作文我严重超时。还有逻辑真的很难写好，还得多练啊。you would never know （how） easier now to become educated than in the past.

DanielleZ

6.23

Have you ever read a book downloaded on your mobile phone or tablet computer anywhere you have time? Have you ever taken your online course via remote education network and sat in front of your screen to discuss or answer questions through microphone? Have you ever learned a foreign language by wearing your earphones to listen to the native speakers at any spare time? If you have never had such experiences, you would never know easier now to become educated than in the past是不是少了什么啊读起来怪怪的

No one can deny the fact that a person’s education is the most important aspect of his or her life. Thanks to the developed science and technology today, increasing education tools and material fill our minds with the latest knowledge and information. Nowadays education can be obtained at any time and at any place. “Knowledge is power”, whatever you want to learn, just search it on Internet, which connected with famous universities in the world, know-it-all encyclopedia, and professors service in any institute. Living in “information explosion age”, human race get what they eager to know more easily and efficiently. For instance, one high school in the state of Taxes in U.S. emancipates students from classroom, in other words, to free the students to accomplish their textbooks content in any way they like. This is a huge step to bring the children to the realistic world and educate them use the modern tools and whatever they acquire to inform themselves. They visit the real factory, study the technology in practice, and obtain knowledge more vividly and impressively to shed the restricted inhibition of the preaches by teachers. In fact, it is now easier to become educated than in the past due to the dramatic change in modern society and progress in knowledge and technology over the recent decades.

To on the contrary, education is hard to obtain in the past. According to the historical recording , human race experienced a pains-taking path to obtain knowledge. Not to mention the prehistory times, in the last century, only a few people who are well financed and born in noble can have the right to be educated. The birthright to be educated equally has not been realized until a few decades ago, especially to women, the poor, and the disabled. Moreover, the only way to impart knowledge is to preach it in the class by teachers. Even worse is the person who cannot afford to school has no means to self-educated, due to the pains-taking effort to earn his or her life and isolation to the knowledge in expensive books. 再说说现在的教育情况吧

Although the path to the wisdom and knowledge has been paved by science and technology, it must be admitted that, shortage of funds is still the one of the biggest questions that students nowadays have to face because that tuition fees and prices of books are soaring up by the day. Increasing number of students at campus still have to take part-time jobs during their school time or pay their loan after graduation, let alone the drop-outs who have to give up their degree because of shortage of funds. However, this is the inevitable path to let everyone have their right of education. The cost of education is decreasing by the day.这句话和上面的联系包子没有看出来啊

From what has been discussed above, the conclusion that people are now easier to become educated than in the past can be safely draw.drew
很好的文了~ 论点相当有力 用词好好~
包子不大确定 题目里指的是people但是zombiee和我都用了不少篇幅去讨论学生的受教育情况 不只靠这样有没有风险
还有啊 zombiee能很自然地把事例过渡到论证总结 逻辑啊 包子要怎么学习唉

-- by 会员 包子不包子 (2012/6/24 14:03:00)

谢谢包子的批改，包子谬赞我了，这个作文我严重超时。还有逻辑真的很难写好，还得多练啊。you would never know （how） easier now to become educated than in the past.

-- by 会员 zombiee (2012/6/24 22:32:28)

有个例子我跟你用的差不多哎，但你写的比我流畅多了。。。我要加油啊~我觉得这几天的题目都不是特别好写呢~我例子太少了

DanielleZ

hi, zombie~
头疼的事处理完没有啊？作文写好了告诉我一声哈~
虽然我自己昨天的也没有写。。。。。哎。。。。。

zombiee

6.25


Can you remember your first lesson your grandparents teach you? Can you recall your childhood mess-up which your grandparents get rid of? Can you recount the lovely story which you share with your grandparents? If you have not any of such experience, you would never know how useful and helpful the advice from grandparents is.

For a toddler, it is so important to listen to and do what grandparents told him/her to do. Grandparents have spent years in the mastering the art of raising children, and they have built a   knowledge base of babysitting. Moreover most of them are retired from work, they have bunch of time deal with the pre-school education, and they are fond of little children. This case is much more universal today than in the past, because parents are often busy in their business and hardly have time to look after their children. As a result increasingly children are grandparents educated, so what grandparents said is useful and influential to their lives afterward.

For a teenager, grandparents are more likely to be a mentor of his/her life. They have age –matched experience and knowledge about studying at school, exchanging with others, and living a happy and wonderful puberty time. Furthermore, they are always more patient than parents with children, and their benignancy is the most effective cure for teenagers with rebellion and feistiness. For instance, when people in their juvenile time, they tend to listen to a story of their grandparents who once experienced the same scenario, rather than listen to their parents’ boring and endless preach. In fact, teenagers always benefit much from the grandparents’ childhood stories and mimic their grandparents’ good deeds.

For an adult, however they are more likely to complain about the excessive care their grandparents imposed on them. After years of obedience, they assert that the advice from grandparents has no use for them because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years. Admittedly, grandparents are mostly stereotyped and old-fashioned in some respects such as fashion, high-tech, new culture etc. But the criterion and the essence of right thing to do is not changed.

All in all, the advice from grandparents is useful for their grandchildren even though the world changed a lot during the past 50 years.

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Can you remember your first lesson your grandparents teach you? Can you recall your childhood mess-up which your grandparents get rid of? Can you recount the lovely story which you share with your grandparents?（排比不错，只是我怎么觉得和advice 相差很远） If you have not any of such experience, you would never know how useful and helpful the advice from grandparents is.

For a toddler, it is so important to listen to and do what grandparents told him/her to do. Grandparents have spent years in the mastering the art of raising children, and they have built a knowledge base of babysitting. Moreover, most of them are retired from work, they have bunch of time deal with the pre-school education, and they are fond of little children. This case is much more universal today than in the past, because parents are often busy in their business and hardly have time to look after their children. As a result, increasingly children are grandparents educated, so what grandparents said is useful and influential to their lives afterward.

For a teenager, grandparents are more likely to be a mentor of his/her life. They have age –matched experience and knowledge about studying at school, exchanging with others, and living a happy and wonderful puberty time. Furthermore, they are always more patient than parents with children, and their benignancy is the most effective cure for teenagers with rebellion and feistiness. For instance, when people in their juvenile time, they tend to listen to a story of their grandparents who once experienced the same scenario, rather than listen to their parents’ boring and endless preach. In fact, teenagers always benefit much from the grandparents’ childhood stories and mimic their grandparents’ good deeds.

For an adult, however, they are more likely to complain about the excessive care their grandparents imposed on them. After years of obedience, they assert that the advice from grandparents has no use for them because the world changed a lot during the past 50 years. Admittedly, grandparents are mostly stereotyped and old-fashioned in some respects such as fashion, high-tech, new culture, etc. But the criterion and the essence of right thing to do is not changed. （这里再加上一个总结句，联系下主题，还有就是总觉得but转折的很突兀额，联系的不是很紧密）

All in all, the advice from grandparents is useful for their grandchildren even though the world changed a lot during the past 50 years.



按时间顺序来写，但是这个最后一段是纯反对，让步的不是很明显。很好了，限时写这样不错。