拖延症老人终于下决心开写了，求砖拍，求鄙视

zombiee

6.16

In modern society, movies and television have more and more effects on the way the youth think and hehave. We are exposed to the movies and television all the time, and the young people are even more likely to be influenced by the videos on show. When it comes to the question wether the movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave, I , honestly, have to say the pros and cons of video broadcasting to young people depend on the content and extent of itself. I will state my points as follows:

First and foremost, most of the nagetive effects come from the violent and pornographic content of the media. Movies and television program full of killing, raping, and stealing could bring about juvenile delinquency. Researchers from social science academy reported that more than 86 percent juvenile in a particular school showed violent behavior after they had watched movies and TV programs that not suitable for their age. They also said that young people did not form a stable personility or a firm belief in value, so they were always inclined to mimic the way adults bahave and imiate what they though mature and cool.

Furthermore, most of the bad babit is formed in the childhood. The young people are more likely to be attracted by the movies and TV programs, which is composed of audio and video, than the books and newspapers. Perhaps the most enjoyable and happy moments in the juvenile’s daily lives is when they are watching TV or movie after school. However, there are also cigarette advertisement in the interval of TV programs and pornographic moments in the movies, even though the government or any other group have already censored them. It is palpable and profounded that juvenile tend to have negative memories of these content and some day in the future replay the language and behavior they had learned.

However, movies and TV programs are the most great inventions last century. At school, teachers could use the broadcasting media to illustrate the curriculum more vividly and enlight the students more effectively. At home, children could enjoy the family atmosphere with their parents and siblings. Juvenile could both informed and enjoyed by the media. So thanks to the great inventions, childrens are more having fun both with the class and the family.

All in all, there are pros and cons about the movies and television, we should adopt their positive points and avoid their shortcomings. To compare the negative and positive effects of broadcasting media we should base it on a case by case background.

zombiee

6.17

Nowadays, to be a university professor is the perfect career of the intellectual, and a faculty in university is both respected and well-paid. When it comes to the criteria to judge a university professor, peple’s views diverge. Someone argues that the main role of a university professor is to educate students rather than to do reasearch. But others have opposite view on this. In my perspective, both educating students and doing research are equally important to a university professor.

On one hand, education quality is vital to a professor’s reputation, most of the students choose their mentor according to the education quality of him. After all, students are more concerned about their performance and background knowledge, which passed on by their teacher. A professor who takes more effort to educate students is more likely to be esteemed as a respected and thoughtful mentor. It is both common sense and daily experience to know that the primary responsibility of a professor is to educate and cultivate. Suppose that a professor can not do his duties well, how could he even do research well.

On the other hand, although education quality is critical to a professor’s performance, to do research is where the reputation and career of a professor built on. In the academic circles, reseach and study are nessary to publish papers at journals and magzines in a certain academic sphere. And it is always the criteria of a university to judge the performance of a professor by the quality and quantity of papers in one semester. To their concern, the reseach and study of a professor is depended on the thesis, so a good faculty should have done a lot of contributive and thought-provoking research.

Finally, both educating students and doing research are equally important to a university professor, that is to say, they are intertwined and progressed together. If a professor does well in his reseach, he could educate his students with the reseach and incite the students to do the further studies, vice versa. The outstanding and excellent professor we acknowledged are always do a good job both in education and research.

In conclusion, to be a good professor is a hard-working job. It is no use to intensify either side of the obligations. Both educating students and doing research are equally important to a university professor, and they interwoven to form a professor whom can worth our respect.

lunating

6.16

In modern society, movies and television have more and more effects on the way the youth think and hbehave. We are exposed to the movies and television all the time, and the young people are even more likely to be influenced by the videos on show. When it comes to the question whether the movies and television have more negative effects than positive effects on the way young people behave, I , honestly, have to say the pros and cons of video broadcasting to young people depend on the content and extent of itself(it指什么，video?没看明白==). I will state my points as follows:

First and foremost, most of the nageative effects come from the violent and pornographic content of the media. Movies and television programs full of killing, raping, and stealing could bring about juvenile delinquency. Researchers from social science academy reported that more than 86 percent juvenile in a particular school showed violent behavior after they had watched movies and TV programs that not suitable for their age.(这个统计数据很赞！！)They also said that young people did not form a stable personiality or a firm belief in value, so they were always inclined to mimic the way adults bahaveing and imitate what they thought mature and cool.

Furthermore, most of the bad bhabitsis are formed in the childhood. The young people are more likely to be attracted by the movies and TV programs, which is composed of audio frequency (audio是形容词) and video, rather than the books and newspapers. Perhaps the most enjoyable and happyiest moments in the juvenile’s daily lives is when they are watching TV or movie after school. However, there are also cigarette advertisement in the interval of TV programs and pornographic moments in the movies, even though the government or any other groups have already censored them. It is palpable and profounded that juvenile tend to have negative memories of these contents and some day in the future will replay the language and behavior they had (have) learned.

However, movies and TV programs are the mostgreatest inventions last century. Atthe school, teachers could use the broadcasting media to illustrate the curriculum more vividly and enlighten the students more effectively. At home, children could enjoy the family atmosphere with their parents and siblings. Juvenile could both informed and enjoyed by the media. So thanks to the great inventions, childrens are more having more fun both with the in class and with their family.

All in all, there are pros and cons about the movies and television, we should adopt their positive points and avoid their shortcomings. To compare the negative and positive effects of broadcasting media we should base it on a case bycasebackground (没看明白==).

Conclusion：
小z整个文章的结构特别好，让步很自然，有很多新词汇和句型的运用与扩充，看到你的进步啦~~还有统计数据的运用，增加论证的说服力！
当然，从全文可以看到，可能由于时间的原因，单词的拼写错误明显，还有部分句子使用的不够地道。这些相信在日后一天一天的磨练中会慢慢消退的。
加油！↖(^ω^)↗

zombiee

6.18



Which is healthy way to relax is the topic of our daily life. People want to find a way to relax more effective and efficient due to the high pressure they endure and the necessarity of mind and body health. In my perspective, there are many ways to relax, and the effective type of activity to relax is depended on the situation of a person’s health status, age, and the work he occupies.

First and foremost, the blue-collar workers do manual work all day, and if they want to relax the better choice for them may be to relax by a movie or reading a book than physical exercise. But when it comes to the white-collar ones, to do physical exercise after work are the most popular and effect way to relax from the brain strains. To illustrate, I am working at a research and design institute in China, and the main role for me is to do the caculation, analysis, and comparation—actually all brainwork. Day after day, may co-workers and I are all tired and fatigue about the monotonous work and the most thing we want to do after work is go to the gym and do some exercise. We take up running and yoga after our sedentary work. After exercise, we can reduce the risk of or get rid of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and so on.

Furthermore, to young people the most exciting relax game from work is often the physical exercise. Because they are more energetic and vital than the elders. Running, playing basketball, dancing etc. are all fast and quick-responsed exercise, and bring about the effect of fast and strong heartbeat. So maybe most physical exercise is not fit for those who are old, weak or ill. And what they needed for relaxing is reading a book or watching a movie rather than doing physical exercise. In the gyms, there are signs anywhere to warn people who are not suitable for the particular item, because it is so dangerous for them to the physical exercise intensively.

To sum up, the effective type of activity to relax is depended on the situation of a person’s health status, age, and the work he occupies. People could consult their doctors, gym choaches, and their friends and families to find a better way to relax.

zombiee

6.19


The most core competition of the modern companies is human resource, and this is the most frequently quoted words of the explanation of how to improve the performance of a company. Unlike last century, the main factors to a good performance of a company are machines, location, government policy, and market share of the product. In 21st century, IT industry , genetic engineering, and astronautical industry,ect. have sprung out as the most influential industries to the human race. Furthermore the most important factor to these high tech industries is human resource. In my perspective, the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work of its employees.

As the famous saying goes, the competition of the 21st century is the competition of human resource. But how to save and explore the human resource is on the table of the CEOs. It is never  excessive to put effort on improvement of work environment, development of employees, and salary welfare. When we work all day long with the same work by the same way, the most thing we want to improve is likely to be the motivation--and furthermore creative ability. That is why human resource is so critical and even vital to a competitive company, and that is to say creation lies in human resource. What creation to a modern company is what wings to a bird. To improve the creative ability of employees, a company should invest more strength and expense on the work skills of its employees. As for IT industry, Google , apple Inc., IBM etc. spend more than 60 percent of the profit every year to the education of employees. Thanks to this brilliant strategy, the annual profits of these companies have increase more than 8 percent.

Moreover, It is beneficial to a company to invest in the improvent of employees’s work skill in a long run. For instance, in Dell each specific engineer is part of the larger picture of business priorities that are being driven by the innovation and creation of them. Dell distributed the share of company to every employee—the shareholder, and reimburese the expense of books, tuition, trafic fare and other expense of education and train courses of employees. There are more than ample motivation for engeneers, workers, and technicians to improve their work skill and require sufficient professtional knowledge. Dell’s goal is accomplished after years of this strategy and the company is among the most compatitive IT companies in the world.

All in all, the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work of its employees.

lunating

6.17

Nowadays, to be a university professor is the perfect career of the intellectual, and a faculty in university is both respected and well-paid. When it comes to the criteria to judge a university professor, peple’s views diverge. Someone argues that the main role of a university professor is to educate students rather than to do reasearch. But others have opposite view on this. In my perspective, both educating students and doing research are equally important to a university professor.

On one hand, education quality is vital to a professor’s reputation, most of the students choose their mentor according to the education quality of him. After all, students are more concerned about their performance and background knowledge, which passed on by their teacher. A professor who takes more effort to educate students is more likely to be esteemed as a respected and thoughtful mentor. It is both common sense and daily experience to know that the primary responsibility of a professor is to educate and cultivate. Suppose that a professor can not do his duties well, how could he even do research well. (有两点疑惑：1. duties不包括research吗；2.其实现实中很多教授就像生活大爆炸里的Sheldon那样research很有钻研，但educate不在行)

On the other hand, although education quality is critical to a professor’s performance, to do research is where the reputation and career of a professor built on. In the academic circles, research and study are nessary to publish papers at journals and magazines in a certain academic sphere. And it is always the criteria of a university to judge the performance of a professor by the quality and quantity of papers in one (each) semester. To their concern, the reseach and study of a professor is depended on the thesis, so a good faculty should have done a lot of contributive and thought-provoking research.

Finally, both educating students and doing research are equally important to a university professor, that is to say, they are intertwined and progressed together. If a professor does well in his reseach, he could educate his students with the reseach and incite(朗文解释：to deliberately encourage people to fight, argue etc 词性有问题) the students to do the further studies, vice versa. The outstanding and excellent professor we acknowledged are always do a good job both in education and research.

In conclusion, to be a good professor is a hard-working job. It is no use to intensify either side of the obligations. Both educating students and doing research are equally important to a university professor, and they interwoven to form a professor whom can (whom用法不对，whom是宾格，但在这个句子里貌似做的是主语吧) worth our respect.

Conclusion：
小z的这篇文章很不错，行文衔接也很自然，而且基本没有什么拼写错误~~
个别单词用的不太恰当，可能是想变换着多用些不同的表达，多积累表达同一含义的词汇是好的，但是个人认为，也要对这些词语进行一些整理查找验证哪些是最常用，最适合的搭配，哪些是不能用来搭配的，或者外国人基本不用这种搭配。再有就是积累的同时顺道了解一下词语的色彩。
继续努力哦亲，做最完美的自己~~~

抱歉最近白天都用来做阅读和练口语，晚上才准备作文，所以写文和改文的速度都有些滞后、、、

lunating

6.18

Which is healthy way to relax is the (current/popular/hot) topic of our daily life. People want (are eager) to find a way to relax more effectively and efficiently due to the high pressure they endure and the necessarity of mind (mental) and body health. In my perspective, there are many ways (methods) to relax, and the effective type of activity to relax is depended (depends) on the situation of a person’s health status, age, and the work he occupies.

First and foremost, the blue-collar workers do manual work all day, and if they want to relax the better choice for them may be to relax by a movie or reading a book than physical exercise. But when it comes to the white-collar ones, to do physical exercise after work are the most popular and effective way to relax from the brain strains. To illustrate, I am working at a research and design institute in China, and the main role for me is to do the calculation, analysis, and comparation comparison—actually all brainwork. Day after day, may co-workers and I are all tired and fatigue about the monotonous work and the most commom/simplest/usual thing we want to do after work is go to the gym and do some exercise with several friends. We take up running and yoga after our sedentary work. After exercise, we can reduce the risk of (应该可以去掉吧) or even get rid of obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and so on.

Furthermore, to young people the most exciting relax game from work or study is often the physical exercise. Because they are more energetic and vital than the elders. Running, playing basketball, dancing etc. are all fast and quick-responsed exercise, and bring about the effect of fast and strong heartbeat. So maybe most physical exercise is (activities are) not fit (suitable) for those who are old, weak or ill. And what they needed for relaxing is just reading a book or watching a movie rather than doing physical exercise. In the gyms, there are signs anywhere to warn people who are not suitable for the (some) particular items, because it is so dangerous for them to do the physical exercise intensively.

To sum up, the effective type of activity (activities) to relax is depended on the situation of a person’s health status, age, and the work he occupies. People could consult their doctors, gym choaches, and their friends and families to find a better way to relax.

Conclusion:
结尾感觉有点牵强，整个文章的感觉不是特别的流畅。
不过，结构，还有论点都是很不错的。可以再稍微改改。：）

a273007862

占个座 一会来改0619~~独立~~

a273007862

6.19


The most core competition of the modern companies is human resource, and this is the most frequently quoted words of the explanation of how to improve the performance of a company. Unlike last century, the main factors to a good performance of a company are machines, location, government policy, and market share of the product. In 21st century, IT industry , genetic engineering, and astronautical industry,ect. have sprung out as the most influential industries to the human race. Furthermore the most important factor to these high tech industries is human resource. In my perspective, the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work of its employees.

As the famous saying goes, the competition of the 21st century is the competition of human resource. But how to save and explore the human resource is on the table of the CEOs. It is never  excessive to put effort on improvement of work environment, development of employees, and salary welfare. When we work all day long with the same work by the same way, the most thing we want to improve is likely to be the motivation--and furthermore creative ability. That is why human resource is so critical and even vital to a competitive company, and that is to say creation lies in human resource. What creation to a modern company is what wings to a bird. To improve the creative ability of employees, a company should invest more strength and expense on the work skills of its employees. As for IT industry, Google , apple Inc., IBM etc. spend more than 60 percent of the profit every year to the education of employees. Thanks to this brilliant strategy, the annual profits of these companies have increase more than 8 percent.

Moreover, It is beneficial to a company to invest in the improvent of employees’s work skill in a long run. For instance, in Dell each specific engineer is part of the larger picture of business priorities that are being driven by the innovation and creation of them. Dell distributed the share of company to every employee—the shareholder, and reimburese the expense of books, tuition, trafic fare and other expense of education and train courses of employees. There are more than ample motivation for engeneers, workers, and technicians to improve their work skill and require sufficient professtional knowledge. Dell’s goal is accomplished after years of this strategy and the company is among the most compatitive IT companies in the world.

All in all, the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work of its employees.

-- by 会员 zombiee (2012/6/19 18:15:05)

The most core competition of用in the modern companies is human resource, and this is the most frequently quoted words of the用to explanation of explain，一次那么有of不太好~~how to improve the performance of a company. Unlike last century, the main factors to a good performance of a company哈哈我们来找茬吧~~看看是不是一块用单数，一会用复数了呢~~要注意啊~~ are machines, location, government policy, and market share of the product. In 21st century, IT industry , genetic engineering, and astronautical industry,ect. have sprung out as the most influential industries to the human race. Furthermore the most important factor to these high tech industries is human resource. In my perspective, the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work of its employees.

我觉得开头有点长啊，你写的是很好，举例很多，我认为可以放在下面的段落中，第一段应该说一下背景，然后就直接亮出观点

As the famous saying goes, the competition of the 21st century is the competition of human resource. But how to save and explore the human resource is on the table of the CEOs. It is never  excessive to put effort on improvement of work environment, development of employees, and salary welfare. When we work all day long with the same workers by the same way, the most 这应该有一个形容词啊，important？ thing we want to improve is likely to be the motivation--and furthermore ？这块加这个是是神马意思？可以去掉哈creative ability. That is why human resource is so critical and even vital to a competitive company, and that is to say creation lies in human resource. What creation to a modern company is what wings to a bird. To improve the creative ability of employees, a company should invest more strength and expense on the work skills of its employees. As for IT industry, Google , apple Inc., IBM etc. spend more than 60 percent of the profits every year to the education of employees. Thanks to this brilliant strategy, the annual profits of these companies have increase more than 8 percent.这个写的很好~~表扬表扬~~学习学习~~

Moreover, It is beneficial to a company to invest in the improvent of employees’s work skill in a long run. For instance, in Dell each specific engineer is part of the larger picture of business priorities that are being driven by the innovation and creation of them. Dell distributed the share of company to every employee—the shareholder, and reimburese the expense of books, tuition, trafic fare and other expense of education and train courses of employees. There are more than ample motivation for engeneers, workers, and technicians to improve their work skill and require sufficient professtional knowledge. Dell’s goal is accomplished after years of this strategy and the company is among the most compatitive IT companies in the world.蓝色是拼写错误~~一定要留时间检查啊~~

All in all, the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work of its employees.

感觉你的两个观点有重复，其实第一点说的是人力是竞争核心，是谁的竞争核心？必然是公司，所以对公司有益啊~所以跟第二点重复了呀！第一点可以从员工的角度出发，说他们收益了，然后再说公司受益了，这不就是2个不重复的点了吗~~

你的例子真的很好~~加油~~

CCcarol

好吧~ 我就是来加个油~~~