gre呀gre的作文~ 非NN~请不要大意的狠拍吧！

gre呀gre

When it comes to the arguement that it is often not a good thing to moce to a new place because of having the risk to lose old friends, I highly doubt since it is logically flawed based on two reasons as follows.

On one hand, moving to a new place does not mean the loss of friend. Some may argue that if we cannot keep touch with friends frequently, we may lose them. In my opinion, friends is the group of person that have no distance not in the reality but in heart. Despite of no connecting for years, you can still fall down because you are fully convinced that they do always stay behind you and support you. What is more, thanks to the rapidly improving technology today, we can still have a face to face chat with each other through instant message software and camera. As long as you hold your cellphone, you guys can have a video phone and say hi. Considering you are in different places, you can travel to each othere and guarantee the best guide. Therefore, in this way, friend has been deepen due to you staying in another place.

On the other hand, those friends who has been lost are right the person they are not willing to keep touch with you. Going to a new place thus is an excellent way to check which is true friendship. To set myself as an example, our dormitory has six girls while four of them are not native. In the commencement we talked, drinked, cried and promised to call each other after graduation. I did get many calls and messages, however, from only one girl. As for the other three, I even have no idea where they are now. Hence, under such circumstance, distance is conversely the true friendship inspector. In addition, as it stated above, losing such friends, which is the majority in the friend team, can be made up in new place since old friend are all come from new friend.

To draw a conclusion, since distance can deepen the old and true friendship and set aside the old but so-called friends, we moving to a new city or a new country can also broaden horizen and make friends. Why not we applaud for the distance?

gre呀gre

多谢大神表扬！求改进方法！

sherryzhangh

When it comes to the arguement（拼写） that itis often not a good thing to move to a new place because of having the risk tolose old friends, I highly doubt since it is logically flawed based on tworeasons as follows.

On one hand, moving to a newplace does not mean the loss of friend. Some may argue that if we cannot keeptouch with friends frequently, we may lose them. In my opinion, friends is（谓语应该用复数 are） the group of person that have nodistance not in the reality but in heart.(这句话感觉不通顺，我觉得应该改成 have no distance in hearts even you arethousands of miles away from each other) Despite of no connecting foryears, you can still fall down because you are fully convinced that they doalways stay behind you and support you. What is more, thanks to the rapidly improvingtechnology today, we can still have a face-to-face chat with each other throughinstant message software and camera. As long as you hold your cellphone, youguys can have a videophone and call sayhi. Considering you are in different places, you can travel to each other andguarantee the best guide. Therefore, in this way, friend has been deepening due to you staying in another place.

On the other hand, those friendswho has been lost are right the person (who)they are not willing to keep in touch withyou. Going to a new place thus is an excellent way to check which is truefriendship. To set myself as an example, our dormitory has six girls while fourof them are not native. In the commencement we talked, drinked (drunk), cried and promised to call each other aftergraduation. I did get many calls and messages, however, from only from one girl. As for the other three, I even have noidea where they are now. Hence, under such circumstance, distance is converselythe true friendship inspector. In addition, as it stated above, losing suchfriends, which is the majority in the friend team, can be made up in new placesince old friend are all come from new friend.

To draw a conclusion, since distance can deepen the oldand true friendship and set aside the old but so-called friends, we moving to anew city or a new country can also broaden horizon and make friends. Why not weapplaud for the distance?
不太会改 ，请见谅。
谢谢你的中肯建议，很受用呦。 看来以后的路还很长。要加油呀！

gre呀gre

8.3 独立
Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

When it comes to the argument that whether parents should help children to do their work, some may argue that parents helping children can highly increase the children’s efficiency and, in this way, reduce stress. As far as I am concerned, that not everything can be helped in the future, such as their working stuff, can cast doubt on such argument. Hence, I hold an opposed attitude that parents should encourage children to do their work independently.

To begin with, there is no doubt that parents encouraging their children to do their work independently can improve the children’s all kinds of abilities such as patience, analysis ability, teamwork ability, etc. Just image a man having a study group to work out a report about comparing several companies. The other member work all by themselves while, on the contrary, the man handles his task to his parents. When they have a discussion about exchanging ideas and sharing information, the man must be embaressed. As a result, after graduation, the man could not find a job because of no ability can be show off. That is the reason why encouraging children to do the work themselves is important.

What is more, some experience cannot be got unless one experiences it by himself, expecially some skill used to survive such as cooking. If parents always take care of their children instead of letting the children experience themselves, the young will never access to success. To take my brother as an example, he has never cooked before for the reason that his parents thought that he, as a student, should focus on study and besides, cooking is easy. Last year, he got an offer from a collage in America but found out that he could not cook. After trying again and over again, he succeed with mass of burnt material. Therefore, the earlier one experices something himself, the less cost he will pay.

Moreover, always working with something by themselves can help children to build a independent personality which is a nessory factor to success. Just take a look at all the successful man’s autobiography that almost everyone in his or her book mentions a story about how their parents encourage them to be independent. Judging from this phenomenon, having a independent personality is meaningful.

To draw a conclusion, it is safe to say that encouraging the children to work independently is nessary based on having abilities to work, skills to survive and personality to access their own success.

喵喵了个咪

When it comes to the argument that whether parents should help children to do their work, some may argue that parents helping(help) children can highly increase the children’s efficiency and, in this way, reduce stress. As far as I am concerned, thatnot everything can be helped in the future(调整语序everything cannot be helped in the future), such as their working stuff, can cast doubt on such argument. (这句话主语太长应改用形式主语)Hence, I hold an opposed attitude that parents should encourage children to do their work independently.

To begin with, there is no doubt that parents encouraging their children to do their work independently can improve the children’s all kinds of abilities such as patience, analysis ability, teamwork ability, etc. Just image a man having a study group to work out a report about comparing several companies. The other member work all by themselves while, on the contrary, the man handles his task to his parents. When they have a discussion about exchanging ideas and sharing information, the man must be embaressed(embarassed). As a result, after graduation, the man could not find a job because of(because of后只能接名词性成分) no ability can be show off. That is the reason why encouraging children to do the work themselves is important.

What is more, some experience cannot be got unless one experiences it by himself, expecially(especially) some skills used to survive such as cooking. If parents always take care of their children instead of letting the children experience themselves, the young will never access to success. To take my brother as an example, he has never cooked before for the reason that his parents thought that he, as a student, should focus on study and besides, cooking is easy. Last year, he got an offer from a collage in America but found out that he could not cooking(cooking是名字). After trying again and over again, he succeed with mass of burnt material. Therefore, the earlier one experices(experiences) something himself, the less cost he will pay.

Moreover, always working with something by themselves can help children to build a independent personality which is a nessory(necessary) factor to success. Just take a look at all the successful man’s autobiography that almost everyone in his or her book mentions a story about how their parents encourage them to be independent. Judging from this phenomenon, having a independent personality is meaningful.

To draw a conclusion, it is safe to say that encouraging the children to work independently is nessary based on having abilities to work, skills to survive and personality to access their own success.



有些ing分次的用法需要注意。然后注意拼写。

gre呀gre

For future career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school?

When it comes to the argument that which is more important, studying hard at school or well related to other people, to access future career success, I have to admit that a well relationship is truly a factor to access success. Comparing with the relationship and some other factors, however, hard-working at school is definitely the most significant factor to have a successful career in the long term for two reasons listed as follows.

At the very beginning, through a hard-working at school, a student can get a job by himself. Despite no relationship, his excellent specialized skills can attract more and more people to make friends with him. In this way, he wins his own relationship with others but others who use the relationship to get a job, on the contrary, have to rely on the relationship got from their parents. To take my favorite negotiation professor as an example, she was born in a poor village and made effort to get an opportunity to be a teacher in my university without a well relationship with others. Currently, she is one of the most famous professors in our collage and now traveling in America as a visiting scholar. In contrast, a man, who entered our collage through the help from his father’s friend the same time with the negotiation professor, is still a teaching professor. That is the reason why hard-working at school is more important than a well relationship.

What is more, others will not offer their help just for charity but for a mutual benefit instead. No one would love to help a man without a successful career in the future. In other word, a man without highly trained skills is just like a junk bond. If a long term investment can gain nothing, nobody will still put their money on it. However, a man study hard at school is just like a potential stock. Even if he has no resource to share with, others are still willing to help him just for a bright future.

Finally, to say the least, there is some have the desire to help you without any pay back. Once an opportunity is provided, whether a man can catch it is based on his professional knowledge. Just image a task that has been assigned to a man. It requires him to analysis some data with some software such as SPSS and Eviews within three days. Nevertheless, he cannot deal with it simply because he is not even familiar with the operate windows.

To draw a conclusion, every quality is important to touch the success but it is the most important to have an excellent working skills since one can gain his own relationship by his outstanding knowledge and catch an opportunity to be closer to success in his career.

chasedreamabc

When it comes to the argument that which is more important, studying hard at school or well related to other people, to access future career success, I have to admit that a well relationship is truly(一般来说，be动词后不直接加副词。be动词后一般加形容词或名词（从句），构成主、系、表结构，这时，be和表语之间可以加副词，如This car is extremely slow,讨论帖http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/420585739.html)a factor to access success. Comparing with the relationship and some(直接说other factors)other factors, however, hard-working at school is definitely the most significant factor to have a successful career in the long term for two reasons(下面说了三个原因吧)listed as follows.

At the very beginning, through a hard-working at school, a student can get a job by himself. Despite no relationship, his excellent specialized skills can attract more and more people to make friends with him. In this way, he wins his own relationship with others but others who use the relationship to get a job, on the contrary, have to rely on the relationship got from their parents. To take my favorite negotiation professor as an example, she was born in a poor village and made effort to get an opportunity to be a teacher in my university without a well relationship with others. Currently, she is one of the most famous professors in our collage and now traveling in America as a visiting scholar. In contrast, a man, who entered our collage through the help from his father’s friend the same time with the negotiation professor, is still a teaching professor. That is the reason why hard-working at school is more important than a well relationship.(PS:刚开始说make friends,有点与下文不搭,而且与主题不符合,只要阐述学习可以是最重要的就可以了吧)

What is more, others will not offer their help just for (表达仅仅,just就可以)charity but for a mutual benefit instead. No one would love to help a man without a successful career in the future. In other word, a man without highly trained skills is just like a junk bond. If a long term investment can gain nothing, nobody will still put their(前面是nobody, its) money on it. However, a man study hard at school is just like a potential stock. Even if he has no resource to share with, others are still willing to help him just for a bright future. (最后一句是,帮助他成为bright future?木有看懂啊)PS:和第一段的女老师例子好像啊,有点反复的味道,只是这个说的更笼统,然后稍稍包装了下

Finally, to say the least, there is some have(这个怎么拆分,双动词?there be不是很合适吧) the desire to help you without any pay back. Once an opportunity is provided, whether a man can catch it is based on his professional knowledge. Just image a task that has been assigned to a man. It requires him to analysis some data with some software such as SPSS and Eviews(我知道这是什么,但是这不是一个单词啊) within three days. Nevertheless, he cannot deal with it simply because he is not even familiar with the operate windows.

To draw a conclusion, every quality is important to touch the success but it is the most important to have an excellent working skills since one can gain his own relationship by his outstanding knowledge and catch an opportunity to be closer to success in his career.

PS:感觉其实只有一点,然后不断的变换例子来说,例子也很相似.结构上清晰,各种层次的词汇用的很好了

gre呀gre

8.6 独立 high school students should take a course on basic economics.

When it comes to the argument that whether high school students should take a course on basic economics, some may argue that high school students are too young to understand the theory and, in this way, burdens them more. As far as I am concerned, however, I hold the opposite view that it is necessary for high school students to take a course on basic economics for three reasons listed as follows.

At the very beginning, it is useful to have some economics knowledge since economy can be found everywhere in daily life. Considering the concerns stated above, high school students only need to explain some common situation by using basic economics theory. To take myself as an example, I happened to get a book called Economy in Milk And Cola, which tells some common phenomenon and analysis them with some simple economy knowledge instead of speciallized terms. For instance, the reason why Victoria’s Secret offers the 10-million diamond bra since few can afford it is that it can make the consumers have an aware that it is reasonable for Victoria Secret to sell underwear in such a high price. By asked such reading in their course, students are more likely to be rational consumer.

In addition, taking course in economics means related reading task and searching for more information, which leads to an abundant knowledge store in students. It offers them some materials to talk about and gives them more oppotunity to make friends and broden horizens as a result. They will not judge others just based on their own views. Just image man laughing at a woman who buy a stock at the time when its price is decreasing. On the contrast, after taking a basic economics course, he will have a better understanding that buying a stock when it is decreasing may be a wise choice due to a lower cost. That is the reason why taking the course will turn a narrow man into open.

Moreover, taking a basic economics course is more than just learing; it is a training on the weakness of one’s thinking style. By taking such course, an art student can gain an ability to analysis a problem with statistics while a science student can be trained to recite theory by words. Besides, the course can help a student to dig out his real interest which may plays an important role in his selecting major in university.

To draw a conclusion, I cannot emphasize the importance of high school students taking a basic economics course too much since it helps to increase knowledge, broden horizens and train the weakness in one’s thinking style.

guodonghu

8.6 独立 high school students should take a course on basic economics.

When it comes to the argument that whether high school students should take a course on basic economics, some may argue that high school students are too young to understand the theory and, in this way, burdens them more（主语呢？）. As far as I am concerned, however, I hold the opposite view that it is necessary for high school students to take a course on basic economics for three reasons listed as follows.

At the very beginning, it is useful to have some economics knowledge since economy can be found everywhere in daily life. （第一个论点写的我感觉有逻辑问题。因果关系明显么？）Considering the concerns stated above, high school students only need to explain some common situations by using basic economics theory. To take myself as an example, I happened to get a book called Economy in Milk And Cola, which tells some common phenomenon and analysis（用动词呀，亲 analyze） them with some simple economy knowledge instead of speciallized(拼写错误啊，亲 specialized) terms. For instance, the reason why Victoria’s Secret offers the 10-million diamond bra since few can afford it is that it can make the consumers have an aware that it is reasonable for Victoria Secret to sell underwear in such a high price（这句话有语病）. By asked such reading in their course, students are more likely to be rational consumer.

In addition, taking course in economics means related reading task and searching for more information, which leads to an abundant knowledge store in students（and 并列哪两部分 ？如果指taking 和searching ，那么就不用用which从句了. It （指代不清）offers them some materials to talk aboutand gives them more oppotunity to make friends and brodens(单三形式啊，亲) horizens as a result. They will not judge others just based on their own views（在表达什么，不是很清楚）. Just image （此处加的 a） man laughig at a woman who buy （单三）a stock at the time when its price is decreasing. On the contrast（contrast 不是这么用的 in/bycontrast, on the contrary 指 instead的意思 是高级用法 非大牛容易用错）, after taking a basic economics course, he will have a better understanding that buying a stock when it is decreasing may be a wise choice due to a lower cost. That is the reason why taking the course will turn a narrow man into open.

Moreover, taking a basic economics course is more than just learing; it is a training on the weakness of one’s thinking style. By taking such course, an art student can gain an ability to analysis （动词形式 analyze）a problem with statistics while a science student can be trained to recite theory by words. Besides, the course can help a student to dig out his real interest which may plays an important role in his selecting major in university.

To draw a conclusion, I cannot emphasize the importance of high school students taking a basic economics course too much since it helps to increase knowledge, brodens horizens and trains the weakness in one’s thinking style.

几处单词拼写错误，放在word里面自己改吧。
仔细找错误太花时间了，我认为明显的的错找出来了。
我觉得有些论点LZ论述的不够好，逻辑-解释论点的能力需加强。
文章句式多样性欠缺，LZ的遣词造句能力还要加强。句子是表达思想和逻辑的方式。
举个例子吧 ： 简单句 并列句 复杂句 并列复杂句 穿插使用。
Consumers shop.
Consumers shop and producers manufacture.

Consumers shop in predictable ways so producers manufacture with different target groups in mind.

Consumers shop in ways that can be predicted by such determinants as income level, sex, and age; consequently, producers use market research to identify different target groups for their products.
我写作也不是很好，碰巧看到lz的，就献丑改了一下。
多交流，共同进步吧。

chasedreamabc

When it comes to the argument that whether high school students should take a course on basic economics, some may argue that high school students are too young to understand the theory and, in this way,burdens them more(我提出的S,V,O, students are too young to understand the theory and burdens them, when 引导一个从句,主句主语是students, in this way, 插入语不管,burden 和understand 并列话,them指代学生,错误; be 动词和Verb不能并列). As far as I am concerned, however, I hold the opposite view that it is necessary for high school students to take a course on basic economics for three reasons listed as follows(list or as follow,要不有点重复的感觉).



At the very beginning, it is useful to have some economics knowledge since economy can be found everywhere in daily life (a daily life). Considering the concerns stated above, high school students only need to explain some common situation by using basic economics theory. To take myself as an example, I happened to get a book called Economy in Milk And Cola, which tells some common phenomenon and analysis them with some simple economy knowledge instead of speciallized terms. For instance, the reason why Victoria’s Secret offers the 10-million diamond bra since few can afford it is that it can make the consumers have an aware that it is reasonable for Victoria Secret to sell underwear in such a high price.(这个复杂句用的真复杂,强烈建议加到SC中)By asked such reading in their course, students are more likely to be rational consumer.



In addition, taking course in economics means related reading task and searching for more information, which (这个which能修饰information吗,好像逻辑上不同,逻辑主语和语法主语不一致,GMAT常见错误)leads to an abundant knowledge store in students. It offers them some materials to talk about and gives them more oppotunity to make friends and broden horizens (拼写之外,搭配是broaden one’s horizon )as a result. They will not judge others just based on their own views. Just image man laughing at a woman who buy(+s) a stock at the time when its price is decreasing. On the contrast, after taking a basic economics course, he will have a better understanding that buying a stock when it is decreasing may be a wise choice due to a lower cost. That is the reason why taking the course will turn a narrow man into open.



Moreover, taking a basic economics course is more than just learing; it is a training on the weakness of one’s thinking style. By taking such course, an art student can gain an (不用加吧)ability to analysis a problem with statistics while a science student can be trained to recite theory by words. Besides, the course can help a student to dig out his real interest which may plays an important role in his selecting major in university.



To draw a conclusion, I cannot emphasize the importance of high school students taking a basic economics course too much since it helps to increase knowledge, broden horizens and train the weakness in one’s thinking style.