414夏雨霏霏的作文贴，求恨拍

夏雨霏霏

几经 Universities should spend more money on improving facilities rather than on hiring more teachers.
Universities are an essential part of modern society. In fact, most of the advances in science and technology that have dramatically changed our world are contributed by universities. As the importance of universities is being realized by more and more people, governments and many organizations are donating an increasing amount of fund to universities, hoping that the universities may do more contributions to our world. Then a problem arises, how should the universities use the money? Someone suggests that universities ought to use the money to improve university facilities. On the other hand, another group of people hold a different opinion, arguing that the money should be used to hire more famous teacher. When it comes to me, I fall in the latter category.

Someone tend to live under the illusion that only by updating the facilities can people build the world-class universities. Therefore, it is urgent for us to clarify what is the core value of universities. It is knowledge. It is the mission of spreading knowledge that makes the universities exist. It is the desire for knowledge that attracts students to go further study in the universities. It is the development of knowledge that put our society forward. Then who or what in the universities can achieve the task of spreading, developing and passing down the knowledge? Not the facilities but the teachers. Without teachers, the university is merely a cluster of buildings. Teachers provide the spirits of universities and on no account can the universities ignore the importance of universities.

Additionally, we cannot fail to take into the basic fact that the students cannot learn from facilities. As it known to all, sometimes the knowledge the students learn in the universities is so difficult that they need the guide from the teachers. Famous teachers are a kind of people who can transform the complex conceptions and formulas into simple principles so that the students are able to understand them. Just imagine that if the students cannot understand the basic knowledge, how can they use these facilities to do researches? It is probable the students may have no idea about how to deal with the results and data they get from the experiments .Under this circumstance, the facilities will be nothing but a pile of useless tools. In order to avoid the condition I mentioned above, it is necessary for the universities to hire famous teachers under whose instruction can the students make full use of the facilities.

Admittedly, the facilities are significant to the science research as well. However, considering what has been mentioned above, the importance of facilities, apparently, is less than that of the famous teachers.

A headmaster of Tshinghua University whose name was Yiqi Mei once said that “ What makes a good university is the amount and qualified masters it owns rather than the amount and qualified buildings that stands.” Obviously, the universities should invest more money to invite the famous teacher instead of improving the facilities.

Crystaljoy

修改 Universities should spend more money on improving facilities rather than on hiring more teachers.


Universities are an essential part of modern society. In fact, most of the advances in science and technology that have dramatically changed our world are contributed by universities. As the importance of universities is being realized by more and more people, governments and many organizations are donating an increasing amount of fund to universities, hoping that the universities may do more contributions to our world. Then a problem arises, how should the universities use the money? Someone suggests that universities ought to use the money to improve university facilities. On the other hand, another group of people hold a different opinion, arguing that the money should be used to hire more famous teacher（teachers）. When it comes to me, I fall in (belong to)the latter category. （开头篇幅最好不要超过主体段）

Someone tends to live under the illusion that only by (constantly) updating the facilities can people build the world-class universities. Therefore (However 这里转折比因果合适点), it is urgent for us to clarify what is the core value of universities.It（The answer 前面说core value, 最好就对应一个答案） is knowledge. It is the mission of spreading knowledge that makes the universities exist. It is（, 删除）the desire for knowledge that attracts students to go further study in the universities. It is（and） the development of knowledge that put our society forward. (英文要避免用词重复，是结构排比，但用词要多样) Then who or what in the universities can achieve the task of spreading, developing and passing down the knowledge? （——）Not the facilities but the teachers. Without teachers, the university is merely a cluster of buildings. Teachers provide the spirits of universities and on no account can the universities ignore the importance of universities. （我嚼的吧，这样循循善诱滴摆出观点，有点中国式思维。老美都很直接哇，最主要的观点往往开头就交代了，后面才是层层推理。本文中，每段开头最好都讲一个支持大结论的小论点。）

Additionally, we cannot fail to take into the basic fact that the students cannot learn from facilities. As it（is） known to all, sometimes the knowledge the students learn in the universities is so difficult that they need the guide from the teachers. Famous teachers are a kind of people who can transform the complex conceptions and formulas into simple principles so that the students are able to understand them. Just imagine that if the students cannot understand the basic knowledge, how can they use these facilities to do researches? It is probable the students may have no idea about how to deal with the results and data they get from the experiments .Under this circumstance, the facilities will be nothing but a pile of useless tools. In order to avoid the condition I mentioned above, it is necessary for the universities to hire famous teachers under whose instruction can the students make full use of the facilities. (这一段逻辑性很强，鼓掌！！！)

Admittedly, the facilities are significant to the science research as well. （+due to…..加个fact类的原因更好, 要少说理论多写事实，即使说理咱也带上事实论据。）However, considering what has been mentioned above（换一个另外的原因更好，不必展开讨论）, the importance of facilities, apparently, is less than that of the famous teachers.

A headmaster of Tshinghua University whose name was Yiqi Mei（Yiqi Mei, headmaster of Tshinghua University, ） once said that “ What makes a good university is the amount and qualified masters it owns rather than the amount and qualified buildings that stands.” Obviously, the universities should invest more money to invite the famous teacher instead of improving the facilities.

（最后这个精彩滴引用不如放在倒数第二段作为一个论据。全文的结尾段还是要具概括性和总结性比较好。）



总体：很不错，夏雨写的文章语言已经相当精彩了！逻辑性第二段比较强，其余稍微有点弱。结构也可以，建议快速扫扫《张宏岩10天》提高一下！

prodliu

再完美一下
1.Apparently, It（The answer 前面说core value, 最好就对应一个答案） is knowledge.
2.It is the mission of spreading knowledge   delivering knowledge比较好吧
3. go further study 换成further their educations

Crystaljoy

再完美一下
1.Apparently, It（The answer 前面说core value, 最好就对应一个答案） is knowledge.
2.It is the mission of spreading knowledge   delivering knowledge比较好吧
3. go further study 换成further their educations

-- by 会员 prodliu (2012/4/8 11:09:59)

矮油~
prod妹子太棒了！

夏雨霏霏

非常感谢!

夏雨霏霏

mua 谢谢鸟儿

夏雨霏霏

422
University professors are a group of people who have a great accumulation of knowledge and are able to use their knowledge to make their own contribution to our society. However, recently, with the discussion about who to improve the quality of universities, a general debate about what university professors’main task is has been aroused and caused a wide public concern. Some people hold the idea that the university professors should spend more energy and time in teaching students. On the other hand, another group of people disagree, arguing that doing research is more important。When it comes to me, I am in favor of the first category for the following reasons.

In the first place, we should realize that the main task of universities is to pass the knowledge down to the next generation. This explains why the universities need new undergraduates every years and the motivation for many students to go further study in universities is the desire for knowledge. If the professors put all their attention to their research and pay little effort in teaching, it will be really hard for the students to understand the context in their books and their enthusiasm for universities will be deeply discouraged. Gradually, the number of people who choose to go to universities will decline. What’s more, even the universities professors have achieved great development in their area, since they do not have talented enough students to learn, to understand, and to advance their theories, the results of their research are likely be invalid and cannot be put into practical use.

Another point we cannot overlook is that teaching students is helpful for the university professors to do their research. University students are those young people who have an air of freedom and are less restricted by the rules. Therefore, compared with the professors, the students may lack experience, but they are creative and many of their ideas are so inspiring that the researches can move to a new level. Nowadays, it is not uncommon for the university professors to lead their students to do researching projects. According to a survey, more that 70% university professors claim that by teaching the students, they can always obtain some precious new thoughts in their academic area, which can usually put their research forward. The data for this survey shows obviously that teaching students is really beneficial to the professors.

Of course, researches have their own values. A majority number of inventions that have profoundly influenced or even reshaped our world come from researches. However, considering what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that since teaching the students is more fundamental than researches, the main task of professors is teaching students rather than doing research.

tyyhappy

University professors are a group of people who have a great accumulation of knowledge and are able to use their knowledge to make their own contribution(s) to our society. However, recently, with the discussion about who（在介词后面who应该换为whom） to improve the quality of universities, a general debate about what university professors’ main task is has been aroused and caused a wide public concern. Some people hold the idea that the university professors should spend more energy and time in teaching students. On the other hand, another group of people disagree, arguing that doing research is more important。When it comes to me, I am in favor of the first category for the following reasons.

In the first place, we should realize that the main task of universities is to pass the knowledge down to the next generation. This explains why the(the 删去) universities need new undergraduates every years（year） and the motivation for（of） many students to go further study in universities is the desire for knowledge. If the professors put all their attention to their research and pay little effort in teaching, it will be really hard for the students to understand the context in their books and their enthusiasm for universities will be deeply discouraged. Gradually, the number of people who choose to go to universities will decline. What’s more, even the universities professors have achieved great development in their area, since they do not have talented enough(改为enough talented) students to learn, to understand, and to advance their theories, the results of their research are likely be invalid and cannot be put into practical use.


Another point we cannot overlook is that teaching students is helpful for the university professors to do their research. University students are those young people who have an air of freedomand are less restricted by the rules. Therefore, compared with the professors, the students may lack experience, but they are creative and many of their ideas are so inspiring that the researches can move to a new level. Nowadays, it is not uncommon for the university professors to lead their students to do researching projects. According to a survey, more that 70% university professors claim that by teaching the students, they can always obtain some precious new thoughts in their academic area, which can usually put their research forward. The data for this survey shows obviously that teaching students is really beneficial to the professors.

Of course, researches have their own values. A majority number of inventions that have profoundly influenced or even reshaped our world come from researches. However, considering what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that since teaching the students is more fundamental than （加doing:比较前后应该对称）researches, the main task of professors is teaching students rather than doing research.


很好的文。
论证一步套一步，很充实。（这个能力是锻炼出来的还是背句子能背出来呢？求赐教呀）
词句充实。
个人认为the+n复数用的有点多，没有特指（吹毛求疵中···）
貌似第一个论证没有例子咦，例子真的挺少的。嗯。可以再加点例子。

夏雨霏霏

425综合
The speaker disagree with the opinion stated in the passage that planting genetically modified trees on a large scale will lead to a number of benefits.

In the first place, the claim that genetically modified trees are more likely to survive than their unmodified counterparts is rejected by the speaker. The speaker points out that compared with the genetically modified trees, the unmodified trees are more genetically diversified, an advantage that enable the natural trees to survive from the threatening conditions. However, the genes of the genetically modified trees are more uniform, if some dangerous situations happen in their habitat, such as climate change and new insects’ invasion, the species are likely to be extinct.

Secondly, there is some hidden cost of planting genetically modified trees. The farmers not only have to pay a much higher price for the seeds of the genetically modified trees, but, according to law, they also have to pay every time they plan. By contrast, the passage suggests that those who plan genetically modified trees will surely obtain some economic benefits.

Last but not least, the speaker also rejects the statement suggested in the passage that the use of genetically modified trees can help to stop the overexploitation of wild trees. The genetically modified trees, said by the speaker, are more aggressive than people previously thought. Since they are planted among the wild trees, it is probably that the genetically modified trees may compete with the wild trees for resource and eventually crowd out the wild trees.

In conclusion, the speaker disagrees with the assertion proposed in the passage that planting the genetically modified trees is beneficial.

夏雨霏霏

426independent
As the old saying goes: No one is an isolated island. People need to communicate with others, to have social activities and to build up close relationship with a group of people they call friends, those who may exert a great influence on our life. Then, what kind of people can we make friends with? Someone suggest that people should make friends with those they can have fun with, in this way, their life is likely to be more interesting and exciting. On the other hand, another group of people hold a different opinion, arguing that it is more important to choose friends who can help us when we are in need. In my point of view, I am in favor of the second claim.
In the first place, helping each other is a fundamental factor of a solid friendship. Only by going through the hard time together can we tell who treats us with whole heart and who the real friend is. Imagine that if you are in a desperate situation and need someone to give you a hand, while the one you regard as friend is indifferent to you and refuse to do you a favor or even pretend that he or she doesn’t know you, will your friendship continue exist?
Another point we cannot ignore is that people need friends who are willing to help them when they are in need so that they can develop and achieve their life-time goals. It is universally acknowledged that the ability of an individual is so limited that people cannot accomplish everything on their own. At this time, our friends are probably to play a key role that can decide the result of our business, since they may specialize in a various areas and offer us the resource or opportunities that are crucial to us. This point can be illustrated by the example of Mayun, a well-known businessman in China. Once in his lecture, he said that without the help from his friends, he could not be successful in such a short period. Obviously, the help from our friends is essential to our achievement.
Last but not least, we should realize that it is dangerous to make friends only with those we can n fun with; sometimes they may even ruin our life. Having this kind of friends, people are inclined to spend so much time playing with their friends that they will pay less attention to their job or study. Gradually, they will be left behind by others and stand in an unfavorable position in the society. Using the story of my friends as an example, when we were in the third- grade in high school, he became obsessed with computer games and he met some people he called friends in the net bar. After he met them, he always skipped class and played games with them in the net bar. In the end, no university admitted him. This case is not rare in realty and it is necessary for people to have a conservative attitude when they decide to cultivate friendship with those they think are funny and interesting.
Considering what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that helpful friends are more important than those people can have fun with.