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guodonghu

作文加油！

guodonghu

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

In a team, those who do not accept other’s criticism cannot succeed. Use specific reasons to support your answer.



Some people argue that in a team those who do not accept other's criticism cannot succeed. I cannot agree with them any more. There are numerous reasons why I hold confidence on this opinion, and I would explore only a few primary ones here.



People rejecting to be criticized will bring negative influence on themselves and their team. In mose cases people will refuse to accept criticism through all kinds of ways. The most commonway is trying to explain--that is finding excuses. The lust to explain is so strong that at that moment those who are criticised will try their best to find excuses to make their own mistakes excusable. And this kind of behavior will be strengthened with consistently repetitions, and then makes a person 'refuse to grow', and even worse 'refuse to evolute'. Interestingly, this kind of people has enormous influence on their team, because maybe most people are afraid to make mistakes and hate to be criticised, those who are good at self-justification are easier to get resonance among a team. So from the other hand, this habit will make a person become the black sheep of a team, and eventually the team has to fire the black sheep for its own survival. In the long run, if this kind of person has chance to realize at what cost they refuse to accept criticism, they will be regret for what they have done.



However,those who can accept other's criticism can reflect themselves and realize their mistakes. In their eyes, criticism is a turning point which will lead them to success. When Einstein was a child, he fancied for violin but his skill did not improve with his practice. His teacher told him that he had no talent for violin and he could not play violin well. Such an acrimony hurt Einstein, fortunately Einstein cheered him up and accepted his teacher's criticism, later he turned his focus to physics. At last, the child became a great scientist. The power of criticism made him succeed.



Furthermore,criticism, however, has an inspiring force. It is a spur, horse will run much harder with each painful hit. Steve Jobs once made a big mistake, and he was criticized by the board and was fired at last. But criticism made Jobs reflect himself and corrected his mistake. The second time he came back to Apple Corporation, he developed I-pod series and brought a lot income for his company. Although sometimes criticism is caustic,some people will see it as a fortune for success.



Thus, in my opinion,in a team only by accepting other's criticism, one can have a clear mind, learn more and reach for success.

hansxiao7

In a team, those who do not accept other’s criticism cannot succeed. Use specific reasons to support your answer.黄色精彩 蓝色建议 红色错误 走起
话说我上篇那个surveying team 是指测量队啊 作为土木搬砖屌丝 哪里会去做survey。。。


Some people argue that in a team those who do not accept other's criticism cannot succeed.(最好有背景介绍啊 这样还能凑字数 只要多练练其实背景都差不了多少 哈哈） I cannot agree with them any more. There are numerous reasons why I hold confidence on this opinion, and I would explore only a few primary ones here.



People rejecting to be criticized will bring negative influence on themselves and their team. In mose cases people will refuse to accept criticism through all kinds of ways. The most common way is trying to explain--that is finding excuses. The lust to explain is so strong that at that moment those who are criticized will try their best to find excuses to make their own mistakes excusable. And（最好换一下 比如subsequently啊 hence啊一类的）this kind of behavior will be strengthened with consistently repetitions, and then makes a person 'refuse to grow', and even worse 'refuse to evolute'. (这个。。。三个AND的情况最好不要出现 可以用别的词代替嘛）Interestingly, this kind of people has enormous influence on their team, because maybe most people are afraid to(of making?) make mistakes and hate to be criticised,(注意断句） those who are good at self-justification are easier to get resonance among a team. So from the other hand, this habit will make a person become the black sheep of a team, and eventually the team has to fire the black sheep for its own survival. In the long run, if this kind of person has chance to realize at what cost they refuse to accept criticism, they will be regret for what they have done.(发现MT哥哥很喜欢用and啊 另外就是句子太长 ，and 可以直接分两句嘛）



However,those who can accept other's criticism can reflect themselves and realize their mistakes. In their eyes, criticism is a turning point which will lead them to success. When Einstein was a child, he fancied for violin but his skill did not improve with his practice. His teacher told him that he had no talent for violin and he could not play violin well. Such an acrimony hurt Einstein, fortunately Einstein cheered him up and accepted his teacher's criticism, later he turned his focus to physics. At last, the child became a great scientist. The power of criticism made him succeed.



Furthermore,criticism, however, has an inspiring force. It is a spur, horse will run much harder with each painful hit. Steve Jobs once made a big mistake, and he was criticized by the board and was fired at last. But criticism made Jobs reflect himself and corrected his mistake. The second time he came back to Apple Corporation, he developed I-pod series and brought a lot income for his company. Although sometimes criticism is caustic,some people will see it as a fortune for success.(膜拜例子大神）



Thus, in my opinion,in a team only by accepting other's criticism, one can have a clear mind, learn more and reach for success.我的水平也很一般。。。所以看不出什么大错误。。。拼写没错误 例子很棒 用词也很精妙 不愧为MT哥哥:-D 主要还是开头段和第一主题段 需要继续练习

hansxiao7

我竟然是第一个 荣幸荣幸

guodonghu

谢谢hansxiao7！ 你指出的问题很对。我开头段是写的太短，主要还是欠练习，要多写写。第一body段句子连接欠考虑，and的用的太多，句子有的也太长。这些问题我以后要注意滴~

guodonghu

Some people believe that people should follow their ambitious dreams and goals even they are not realistic;others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. What’s your opinion and why?Use specific reasons to support your answer.

When asked about the approaches of life, many people have the idea that achieving realistic goals is good way of the life. However, others take the view that a challenges and difficulties bring us a meaningful life. Of course, every individual has his own opinion about the strengths and weakness when choosing ambitious goals or realistic goals. As for me, my choice is definitely to try to achieve ambitious goals.

While the idea of achieving realistic goals is without advantages. Probably, the most reasonable benefit of this behavior is that one can make sure to be successful and never lose face. Success is important. For instance, if you are a employee of a large competitive company, are you reluctant to miss every precious promotion opportunity to show your failure to your department manager? Or will you be tolerant to losing a job because of an unintentionally tiny error? The answer is possibly not. And achieving realistic goals can also become a protection to a sensitive self-esteem. These above may account for why considerable number of people choose achievable goals.

Nevertheless, pound for pound, I reckon that ambitious goals are more advantageous. First of all, there is no doubt that this is a sufficient way to perfect one a lot. Those who try ambitious goals maybe sometimes fail. It is just the failure that points out where he is inadequate and not developing well. And it is also the experience of failure teaches him where to avoid making the same mistake as before.

Moreover, sometimes higher aims are inevitable. A little step forward always leads to a meaningful important discovery. In science, physicists insist on researching to explore the unknown mysterious substance cosmos and chemists seek out new useful materials through the results of millions of experiments. To some extent, we can say that stop exploring stop progressing.

Although there may be tremendous risks and masses of difficulties waiting us on the way of achieving goals, we can really not stop our forward step. Given the factors I have outlined, I believe that a person who is full filled with the courage to try ambitious goals is more likely to overdo himself and enjoy a more and more colorful world.

sherryzhangh

Guodonghu你好
i used a system where highlighted in green were errors
blue was sentences i re-wrote to make them sound clearer
and yellow were sentences i liked

Some people believe that people should follow their ambitousambitions,dreams, and goals even ifthey are not realistic;others believe that people should focus on achieving realistic goals. Whatis your opinion and why?Use specific reasons to support your answer.

When asked about the approaches of life, many people have the idea that achieving realistic goals is a good way of the approach to life. However, others take the view that challenges and difficulties bring us a moremeaningful life. Of course, every individual has hisor her own opinion about the strengths and weakness when choosingwhether to chooseambitious goals or realistic goals. As for me, my choice is definitely to try to achieve ambitious goals.

While the idea of achieving realistic goals is notwithout advantages. Probabaly,tThe most reasonable benefit of this befaviorapproachis that one can make sure to be successfulbe sure of successand never lose face. Success is important. For instance, if you are an employee of a large competitive company, areWill) yoube reluctant to be ambitious for fear of reporting your to miss every precious promotion opportunity to show youfailure to your department manager? orWill you be able toaccept be tolerant to losing a job because of an unintentionally tiny error? The answer is possibly not. AndMoreover,achieving realistic goals can also become a protection to a one’ssensitive self-esteem. The se above evidence abovemay account for why aconsiderable number of people chooseto targetachievable goals.

Nevertheless, pound for pound, I reckon that ambitious goals are more advantageous. First of all, there is no doubt that this isoutlook leads people to strive for self-perfection a sufficient way to perfect one a lot. Those who try ambitious goals may be sometimeswill fail. However, it is just thethisfailure that points out where he isthey are inadequate and where they arenot developing well. In addition, Andit is also the experience of failure thatteaches him themwhere to avoid making the same mistake as beforein the future.

Moreover, sometimes higher aims are inevitable. A little step forward always leads to a meaningfuland important discovery. In science, physicists insist on researching to explore the unknown mysterious substance cosmos and chemists seek out new useful materials through the results of millions of experiments. To some extent, we can say thatto stop exploring is tostop progressing.

Although there may be tremendous risks and massesmanyof difficulties waiting forus on the way oftoachieving ambitiousgoals, we canshould not really not stop our forward stop moving forward. Given the factors I have outlined, I believe that a person who is full filled with the courage to try ambitious goals is more likely to over do himselfachieve fulfillment and enjoy a more and more colorful world.


谢谢你的语法书, 我不太会改,请办公室的美国小孩帮你改的.

guodonghu

8.3 独立：Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.

In this day and age, child's development seems always among the top concerns of each parent. Because desirable education may lay a solid foundation for one's future success. When it comes to whether parents should assist children in doing their work or encourage them to solve problems independently. Since there are always advantages and disadvantages of the two, and there are always different situations, my personal opinion is that different strategy should be applied for different situations.

Parents' assistance is inevitable for preschool and primary-level children's education. Firstly, kids are not physical and psychological mature enough to solve problems they could face in study. When I was a child, everyday my nursery teacher always gave us homework such as arithmetic, spelling and reading. Some of arithmetical problems always frustrated me and I could figure the problems out with a few hints from my parents. When I read books, many new words often puzzled me, due to the help of my parents I could learn tons of new words. Honestly I cannot imagine how could I finish assignments all by my self. Also, sometimes in China teachers often leave so much homework that kids cannot finish before the deadline, or there are some kinds of assignments which parents must get involved in. In such cases some instructions are reasonable.

However, for adolescents, parents are supposed to inspire them with confidence to think independently. The ability to think independently is of great importance for the young's mental soundness which is crucial for one's future life. Most teenagers have already received some schooling and they have gasped the general knowledge, thereby they are prepared to do their assignments independently. The parents should focus on fostering their ability to tink independently. Even though teenagers maybe encounter problems in their study, they are supposed to solve problems independently. For instance my brother, Mike, when he was a teenager, as my uncle and aunt were busy with their business, they did not have enough time to care my brother's study. At school he could ask for help from his peers or his teachers but after school he had nobody to insult about problems he confronted with. Therefore he could only depend on himself. Surprisingly, his performance was well in shool without his parents' guide. When being asked about his trick, he said it was independent thinking that helped him solve problems and made him perform well in school. Thus, for teenagers, parents should spur them to think independently.

In conclusion, when considering about whether to help children's study or not depending on children's age. When they are in nursery or primary shool, some proper assistance is inevitable, otherwise, it is a wiser choice for parents to stimulate their children to finish taskes independently.

eva0401

8.3 独立：Parents should help children to do their work or encourage children to do their work independently.
楼主 ，我第一次写toefl 第一次改toefl 如有不好的地方请多见谅哒 谢谢 共同进步 加油
In this day and age, The child's(可数名词不能单独使用 要么加the 要么用复数）development seems always among the top concerns of each parent. Because desirable education may lay a solid foundation for one's future success. When it comes to whether parents should assist children in doing their work or encourage them to solve problems independently. Since there are always advantages and disadvantages of the two, and there are always different situations, my personal opinion is that different strategy should be applied for different situations.(楼主采用中立的态度，想法很好，因为我开始写的时候也发现，帮助孩子和让孩子独立工作都是正确的，只是当第一次写，逻辑就怕乱调所以，偏向于了独立）只是觉得第一段还可以精炼一些，很快引入楼主中立的TS.
The degree of maturity of kids in physical and psychological not enough to solve problems they could face in study


Parents' assistanceisareinevitable for preschool and primary-level children's education. Firstly, kids` are not physical and psychological mature not enough to solve problems they could face in study. When I was a child, everyday our nursery teacher always gave us homework such as arithmetic, spelling and reading. Some of arithmetical problems always frustratedme and I could figure the problems out with a few hints from my parents. When I read books, many new words often puzzled me, due to the help of my parents, I could learn tons of new words. Honestly I cannot imagine how could I finish assignments all by my self. Also, sometimes in China,teachers often leave so much homework that kids cannot finish before the deadline, or there are some kinds of assignments which parents must get involved in. In such cases some instructions are reasonable. LZ 第一段调理很清晰，第一句直接提出分论点1 很清晰，紧接着下面就有例子的论证，最后还结合额我们国家的实情，我需要好好学习一下哒。嘻！~

However, for adolescents, parents are supposed to inspire them（children）（them最好指代出来）with confidence to think independently.和后面重复了，最好改一个，这里前面可以改成to do work on their own 或者 independent thinking.The ability to think （ability of thinking）independently is of great importance for the young's mental soundness which is crucial for one's future life. Most teenagers have already received some schooling ？这里没看懂哒and they have gasped the general knowledge, thereby they are prepared to do their assignments independently. The parents should focus on fostering theirchildren`s ability to think independently. Even though teenagers maybe encounter problems in their study, they are supposed to solve problems independently. For instance my brother, Mike, when he was a teenager, as my uncle and aunt were busy with their business, they did not have enough time to care my brother's study. At school he could ask for help from his peers or his teachers but after school he had nobody to insult solution about problems whichhe confronted with. Therefore he could only depend on himself. Surprisingly, his performance was well in shool without his parents' guide. When being asked about his trick, he said it was independent thinking that helped him solve problems and made him perform well in school. Thus, for teenagers, parents should spur them to think independently.

In conclusion, when considering about whether to help children's study or not depending on children's age. When they are in nursery or primary shool, some proper assistance is inevitable, otherwise, it is a wiser choice for parents to stimulate their children to finish tasks independently.

楼主，你的文章路线很清晰，就是可能从句有些有段混乱，我也是一个语法不幸的人，共同进步了！！只是楼主的例子可以再举一些名人的例子，我也再开始收集中，因为第一次写，晨依也说我语法很多有错，我很害怕给你改错，所以也咨询了其他人。继续加油了，若没有改到改好的地方，请多见谅哒1

ps：群里的 woody师兄给了一个意见第二顿那句 having the ability to think independently, students are able to lead thier peers and do great in their studies.  这样逻辑比较okay些

guodonghu

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement. Movies and television have more negative
effects than positive effects on the way young people behave.

Recently a public problem has been brought into our eyes that whether public media,such as movies and television, brings more negative effects for the young. Different people will give different responses to this question from their own characters, emotional concerns and even educational backgrounds.(废话，这么写可以么？)However, when it comes to me, I believe that movies and television have more positive effects than negative effects on the way the young behave. There are numerous reasons why I hold confidence on this opinion and I would explore only a few primary ones here.
自己感觉第一段开头写的冗，可我想出好点的开头很困难，这种模式化的开头是不是很不好？

Firstly, enjoying television and movies is an effective way to relax for young people. In this day and age, the young suffer all kinds of pressure from work, family and society. Usually their pressure needs an outlet, otherwise Suffering from pressure will cause metal disease . According to a resent survey of National Health Centre 2012, there are 15.6% of people aging 20 to 40 suffering from mental illness caused by pressure.Imagine after a day of work, you can sit in front of the TV and have a little chat with your family. At the same time, some of the TV programs will make you laugh. These will definitely release the pressure and refresh yourself.

Secondly, enjoying television and movies can expend one's outlook. Consider such programs as Discovery and National Geology, this kind of programs shows the beautiful scenery in different parts of the world which we hardly have the chance to come in our life span.Have you ever gone to the North Pole? Have your ever gone to the Rockies? Or have your ever gone to the jungle in Africa? Fortunately, thanks to these programs we know more about other parts of our planet even if we never been there.

Thirdly, the most important reason I want to mention is that one's character can be perfected through what one learns in the TV and movies. Most movies show the bright side of the humanity and the virtues of the heroes can effect the way young men behave.It is arguable that one has the nature to imitate, so the mainstream values in movies- bravery, honesty and reliability etc.- is likely to effect the young. Moreover, some of the movies are really inspiring. The Pursuit of Happiness is a well-known American inspiring movie which has effected millions of young men in the world.In the movie the hero was in great trouble-his wifes left, suffering from breakout himself- but he did never give up. Subsequently, he became a stock manager by his effort. When I was in adversity and sometimes even wanted to give up, I could always get strength from the hero in this movie. So from movies one can learn virtues which are of great benefit for one's future life.

Admittedly, some behaviors in films and movies have a negative influence on the young. Sometimes there are too much violence which some young man are likely to imitate and cause murders and gun-shots. So the authorities are supposed to control the contents of violence. With proper control, the young can learn less violence from films or television. All in all, if all the factors are contemplated, the disadvantages of television and films look pale, we can safely reach a conclusion that movies and television are more beneficial to the young.