婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

5.6 综合改改后
To stone和瓜瓜；婷婷这篇文听得好烂呀，改了一遍
To stone；婷婷这篇文听得好烂呀，改了一遍

To meet the demand of high ecological standards, a good number of wood companies have emerged in the United States. The passage presents some reasons to oppose these companies, but the speaker is for（for 和support的意思相同，婷婷就这么表达了） these companies.这里···有误吧

To begin with, the writer thinks that American consumers pay no attention to the ecocertification label. Conversely, the lecturer refutes this point. He stresses that since every wood company makes their own products, those wood companies have confidence to attract most customers.American consumers have lots of confidence on the independent agencies. Besides, as these products are managed certified by certain ecological organizations, 产品只是获得了机构认证，而不是机构销售the companies need not worry about the matter of advertisement.



Moreover, the professor casts doubt on the idea that ecocertified wood is too expensive for consumers to buy. To illustrate this, the professor emphasizes: since there is not a obvious difference between the price of certified and uncertified wood, people would be more preferable to purchase the certified wood in the sake of environmental protection. Therefore, the cost on ecocertified wood does not count much when choosing a specific woodwhen the price difference is less than five percent(这个是补上去的).这里听力里举了具体的数据，如果加上就更好了less than five percent

In addition, the author suggests that American companies always keep up with the development of the domestic market as well asother parts of the world.Third, although some people claim that it always makes good business sense for American companies to keep up with the developments in the rest of the world, this argument is not convincing.原文是这样的，婷婷这里的总结写反了On the contrary, the speaker explains that as these wood companies face the international competitions, they have to rivialrivalforeign wood companies in the nation. Thus, those domestic companies are supposed to try their best to satisfy the merchandise both domestically and abroad.

To sum up, the writer is negative about the development of the domestic wood companies, while the leturer(lecturer) believes that those companies will come into prosperityno去掉 sooner or later.

婷婷connie

To meet the demand of high ecological standards, a good number of wood companies have emerged in the United States. The passage presents some reasons to oppose these companies, but the speaker is for these companies.这里···有误吧

To begin with,  the writer thinks that American consumers pay no attention to the ecocertification label. Conversely, the lecturer refutes this point. He stresses that since every wood company makes their own  products, those wood companies have confidence to attract most customers. Besides, as these products are managed by certain ecological organizations, 产品只是获得了机构认证，而不是机构销售the companies need not worry about the matter of advertisement.



Moreover, the professor casts doubt on the idea that ecocertified wood is too expensive for consumers to buy. To illustrate this, the professor emphasizes: since there is not a obvious difference between the price of certified and uncertified wood, people would be more preferable to purchase the certified wood in the sake of environmental protection. Therefore, the cost on ecocertified wood does not count much when choosing a specific wood.这里听力里举了具体的数据，如果加上就更好了less than five percent

In addition,  the author suggests that American companies always keep up with the development of other parts of the world.Third, although some people claim that it always makes good business sense for American companies to keep up with the developments in the rest of the world, this argument is not convincing.原文是这样的，婷婷这里的总结写反了On the contrary, the speaker explains that as these wood companies face the international competitions, they have to rivial foreign wood companies in the nation. Thus, those domestic companies are supposed to try their best to satisfy the merchandise both domestically and abroad.

To sum up, the writer is negative about the development of the domestic wood companies, while the leturer believes that those companies will come into prosperity no去掉 sooner or later.



文章组织的很好。注意一下，句子的因果关系。

-- by 会员 stones4 (2012/5/6 15:32:59)

stone,你好像改错一个综合了？这个是tpo7

婷婷connie

5.6 独立 改改后
NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own.
In the contemporary society, hords of(恩，打错了 herds of)打错了?people realized the fundamentality of children's education. And some people hold that parents are supposed to pay more attention to their children and help children with their work. However, I disagree with this view, and my reasons are as following.
To begin with, encouraging children to work on their own makes children obtain more knowledge. Since children are put to solve the issue alone, they will subconsciously learn to gather aboundant（abundant） information by themselves. Take my gregarious brother Tom as an example. Once his class planned to go out for picnic to enjoy the fascinating spring. As the monitor, he took the duty to make some preparations: mastering the routine, (evaluate) expenditures and (care for) the weatherforecast.前面都把动词加上吧，光用master挺奇怪的At that moment, his parents encouraged him to try to deal with this on his own（instead of ask help from them）.Tom本来就有责任负责这些事情，因为他是班长，这里他父母又鼓励他自己处理，这里有点不通（解释一下，他本来想找父母帮忙的，结果父母鼓励他自己完成）Then he searched a great deal of information via Internet and telephone. Finally, they had an unforgettable spring trip. Additionally, Tom got much practical knowledge about trip which would come into use in the future.这里加上有点多余 Thus, it is a excellent way to make children aquire(acquire)knowledge by encouraging childen(children) to work alone.

Furthermore, children's indenpendent(independent) work enables themselves to own a larger social circle. Since every individual live in a large circle of friends, people can not avoid communcating(communicating)with others. Obviously, children's independent work show its advantages. According to the survey conducted by China Juvenile Fund, over 85% of youngsters who usually work out problems on their own tend to be more own intimate friends. Specifically, we can figure out that when a child comes to tackle something difficult without parents' help, he may turn to his classmates, which often results in the friendship between two partners. So, it is more likely for children to gain bigger friends circles by independent work.
Besides, putting children to work on their own also reliease(release)打字打快喽 the pressure over painstaking parents. Since parents have concentrated in their formidable works有这样的形容吗 during the day, they must be weary and tired用词重复 after work. In this waycase这里语感上是这样的，可以无视, children should be motivated to finish their troubles independently. After all, it is the time for parents to have a good rest at home. Only do the parents relax and refresh themselves at home, can they be more efficient on the job and make contributions to the country.突然提高到社会角度了！有点硬拉的感觉 Thus, it is better to enhance children to work on their own instead of accompanying them in their work.
Considering all analysis above, since the parents' policy which encourages children to do their work indenpendently(independently) gets children more invloved(involved) in the society, they can recieve(receive)not only knowledge but also friends. Besides, this policy offers parents more freedom to manage their own time. So, I prefer to encourage children to work independently.
自我反省：缺少检查，手误忒多还有就是单词记得不熟了

婷婷connie

5.7 综合
The passage raises doubts about the accuracy of the Chevalier's memoir. However, the lecturer believes that his memoir is a reliable historic source.



To begin with, the writer is dubious about the Chevalier's claim that he was wealthy when living in Switerland(Swizerland). On the contrary, the professor disagrees with it. To explains this, she says that since the Chevalier spent large quantities of money on parties and gambling, he was substantly(substantially)rich. Besides, at that time, people had to sell objects first and wait for their money back. Thus, during the days the Chevalier waited to convert moeny(money), he did need to borrow money first.



In addition,   the author shows hesitation on the accuracy of the Chevalier's conversation with Voltaire. Conversely, the speaker insists that this conversation is precises. According to her, the Chevalier wrote down everything he could remember each night after talking with Voltaire and he kept these notes for many years. When he wrote his memoir, he consulted these notes. Therefore, this memoir can be very convincing.



Moreover, the writer questions the memoir's account of the Chevalier's escape from a notorious prison in Venice. However, the lecturer confirms this. She demonstrates the fact that there were some prisoners who had more powerful friends than the Chevalier did, but those men did not make it to be sent free. Thus, the Chevalier cannot get out by a bribe. Additionally, the Venitian goverment(government)documents described that the celling of the prison had been repaired after the escape. So, it is obvious that the memoir tells the truth.



To sum up, the writer is skeptical about the accuracy of the Chevalier's memoir, while the lecturer shares her views to explain why the memoir is true.

Ps:自己先承认手误,这几个词会导致减分吗？

婷婷connie

5.7 独立
11.8.5 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for your friend to ask you for help (suppose you are good at the subject) than to turn to a tutor when he finds it hard to pass an examination.



Since academic scores play an essential role in one's career hunting,people usually tend to care more about their preparations for the examination. When it comes to solving academic troubles,I insist that my friend turns to me for help is better.  



To begin with, asking me for help enjoys a more flexible time schedule than turning to a tutor. Since a certain tutor can not concentrate all his attentions to a single student, he generally make a tight schedule to plan firmed period of time for every students. As for me, the situation looks better. As we both live in the same dormitory, my friend is able to discuss a problem whenever I am free instead of making an appointment in advance. Thus, my friend can get informed of more informations with my help anytime if I am not engaged.



Moreover, a tutor actually charges students exorbitantly. According to a survey conducted by China Juvenile Education Fund(CJEF), over 85% of respondents confess that the expenditure of a tutor who help them pass an examination often rises to half of their patents' monthly pay, additionally, they will not turn to a tutor for help anymore unless the condition is urgent. Conversely, as I hold the concept of selflessness that people are supposed to be ready to help others, I would like to offer my kind help to my classmates without demanding money. So from the aspect of finance, I support that it is a wise choose for my friend to ask help from me instead of a tutor.  



In addition, it is more relaxing to ask me for help since that my friends easily become stressed out when talking with the tutor. When people take lessons in the classroom, they always find that teachers are so strict with everybody. Take my intimate friend Lily as an example, she is such a shy girl that her face even turns blushed when conversing with others. And one time, she got a tutor to prepare for her final examination, however, she just felt that she could not share her own points with teacher as she became so nervous. Later, she asked me to help her out with the impending examination. Then, we both spent a relaxing time on the academic reviews because we quite knew each other. Finally, she got good grades and she thanked me much. In this way, we safely arrive the point that I spare more liberty to my friends because they are familiar to me.



Considering all analysis above, since requiring me for assistance enjoys a more flexible time schedule,a wiser economic standard and more liberty, I do recommend that my friend come to me for help.  

瓜瓜不瓜

5.7 综合 婷婷我来啦，符号老规矩哈

The passage raises doubts about the accuracy（感觉文章的重点不是在讲accuracy，而是authenticity）of the Chevalier's memoir. However, the lecturer believes that his memoir is a reliable historic source.



To begin with, the writer is dubious（婷婷确定有这个说法么？我查了一下dubious一般形容物，或人，但不用来表示态度） about the Chevalier's claim that he was wealthy when living in Switerland(Swizerland). On the contrary, the professor disagrees with it. To explains this, she says that since the Chevalier spent large quantities of money on parties and gambling, he was substantly(substantially)rich. Besides, at that time, people had to sell objects first and wait for their money back. Thus, during the days the Chevalier waited to convert moeny(money)（改成convert assets to cash感觉更好）, he did need to borrow money first.（需要先借钱的点我没有catch 到T,T）


In addition, the author shows hesitation on the accuracy of the Chevalier's conversation with Voltaire. Conversely, the speaker insists that this conversation is precises. According to her, the Chevalier wrote down everything he could remember each night after talking with Voltaire and he kept these notes for many years. When he wrote his memoir, he consulted (consult一般对象是人吧？试试refer to)these notes. Therefore, this memoir can be (is就好）very convincing.



Moreover, the writer questions the memoir's account of the Chevalier's escape from a notorious prison in Venice. However, the lecturer confirms this. She demonstrates the fact that there were some prisoners who had more powerful friends than the Chevalier did, but those men did not make it to be sent free. （这个表达有点奇怪，make it 是有成功的意思，但是加上to be done的结构，有点奇怪的感觉，就用succedd in escaping from jail吧）Thus, the Chevalier cannot get out by a bribe. Additionally, the Venitian goverment(government)documents described that the celling of the prison had been repaired after the escape. So, it is obvious that the memoir tells the truth.



To sum up, the writer is skeptical about the accuracy of the Chevalier's memoir, while the lecturer shares her views to explain why the memoir is true.

Ps:自己先承认手误,这几个词会导致减分吗？ 答：不会的。少量的拼写错误不会影响文章评分。OG里的满分作文的评价里也写了这点的。我觉得托福文章评分准则就是：瑕不掩瑜。

总评：婷婷这篇听得很全，要点全写到了。行文展开也很流畅。 ^.^

瓜瓜不瓜

婷婷我眼花昨天写成了今天的独立作文了，你明天给我批吧，我今天写5.7号的，写完给你批行么？

婷婷connie

婷婷我眼花昨天写成了今天的独立作文了，你明天给我批吧，我今天写5.7号的，写完给你批行么？

-- by 会员 瓜瓜不瓜 (2012/5/8 12:53:35)

恩恩，木有问题的~

婷婷connie

5.8 综合
The passge believes that hydrogen-based fuel-cel engines have several advantges over internal-combustion engines, while the speaker questions this by following reasons.

To begin with, the author asserts that easily available and renewable resources make fuel-cell engines attractive. On the contrary, the lecturer casts doubt on this. According to him, hydrogen is not easily accessible since it is obtained from a pure liquid state of water. Besides, the hydrogen must be kept at a very low temperature, at about 253 degrees below zero. So, the hydrogen is extremelly difficult to produce and store.

In addition, the writer declares that hydrogen-based fuel cells will slove many world's pollution problems. Conversely, the lecturer is skeptical about it. He emphasizes that since the process of purification demands a great deal of energy which generally comes from the burning of coal or oil, it is convinced that the fuel-cell engines actually create severe pollutions.

Furthermore, the professor's view contrasts with the writer's point that fuel-cell engine will soon be economically competitive. To illustrate it, the professor explains that the fuel-cell engine is made of the platinum, that is, a quite expensive medal. What is more, chemical reactions cannot be placed in the engine made by other cheaper medal. Thus, we safely arrive at the point that the price of fuel-cell engines can never drop down.

To sum up, the writer denotes that hydrogen-based fuel-cell engine is promising, however, the lecturer holds an opposite attitude towards it.

婷婷connie

5.8 独立 这篇好难啊，正在挤……坦白地说，婷婷超时了10min
In the contemporary society, a multitude of people are increasingly aware of the fundamentality of choosing a career. Since some parents care their children too much, they tend to put their children in the same career as they are. However, those parents have ignored a vital factor, that is, their children's mind. So, I insist that children are supposed to undergo a different occupation.



First of all, children's diverse interests make them choose distinct careers as their parents. As an old saying goes, there are no identical leaves in the world. It is obvious that children may share different hobbies with their parents. For example, a mother is a noted art and she is quite fond of painting. However, her child develops an interest in medicine. That way, the child probably will take on the job as a doctor. It is commonly accepted that teacher is the best teacher. Only making the child follow his own enjoyment, will he get to the peak in his field. Thus, children should choose the career according to their substantial interests.



Moreover, children who choose different careers as their parents are more likely to be creative. If children choose the common job like their parents, they will subconsciously mimicry their parents' behaviors on that certain job, which actually prevents the inspiration and creativity in their working, especially in the field of information and technology. According to a recent survey conducted by China Employment Fund(CEF), over 83% of workers agree that they behave more creatively in the different career as their parents. So, it is unwise to make children follow their parents tempos and handle the same issues.



Admittedly, I concede that some individuals do take over the same job from their parents to some degrees. Nonetheless, they feel upset and less enriched. Take my brother Tom as an excellent case. He lives in the countryside with his parents who  both were born farmers. When Tom faced the option of the entrance examination to the university, he decided to give up that examination and go back to the countryside. What a pity! Then he has been living a single and boring life just spending hours on plantation. Last time, I got a chance to visit him and knew that how unhappy he was. Thus, from the case of Tom, we can realize that one would better choose the different career as his parents.



In brief, every individual has the right to determine his own road based on his interest. Only in that way can he behaves more creatively and ambitiously on his work and even achieve success.