婷婷connie的作文帖~勇者创造机会，愚者等待机会

婷婷connie

5.5 独立
5月5日10.12.3 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own.      
In the contemporary society, hords of people realized the fundamentality of children's education. And some people hold that parents are supposed to pay more attention to their children and help children with their work. However, I disagree with this view, and my reasons are as following.
To begin with, encouraging children to work on their own makes children obtain more knowledge. Since children are put to solve the issue alone, they will subconsciously learn to gather aboundant information by themselves. Take my gregarious brother Tom as an example. Once his class planned to go out for picnic to enjoy the fascinating spring. As the monitor, he took the duty to make some preparations: mastering the routine, expenditures and the weatherforecast. At that moment, his parents encouraged him to try to deal with this on his own. Then he searched a great deal of information via Internet and telephone. Finally, they had an unforgettable spring trip. Additionally, Tom got much practical knowledge about trip which would come into use in the future. Thus, it is a excellent way to make children aquire knowledge by encouraging childen to work alone.

Furthermore, children's indenpendent work enables themselves to own a larger social circle. Since every individual live in a large circle of friends, people can not avoid communcating with others. Obviously, children's independent work show its advantages. According to the survey conducted by China Juvenile Fund, over 85% of youngsters who usually work out problems on their own tend to be more own intimate friends. Specifically, we can figure out that when a child comes to tackle something difficult without parents' help, he may turn to his classmates, which often results in the friendship between two partners.  So, it is more likely for children to gain bigger friends circles by independent work.
Besides, putting children to work on their own also reliease the pressure over painstaking parents. Since parents have concentrated in their formidable works during the day, they must be weary and tired after work. In this way, children should be motivated to finish their troubles independently. After all, it is the time for parents to have a good rest at home. Only do the parents relax and refresh themselves at home, can they be more efficient on the job and make contributions to the country. Thus, it is better to enhance children to work on their own instead of accompanying them in their work.  
Considering all analysis above, since the parents' policy which encourages children to do their work indenpendently gets children more invloved in the society, they can recieve not only knowledge but also friends. Besides, this policy offers parents more freedom to manage their own time. So, I prefer to encourage children to work independently.

瓜瓜不瓜

婷婷 我来晚了。。sorry!  黄色高亮为亮点 红色为内容不足 绿色为表达上的不足
5.4 综合
In the passage, the writer pitches three competing theories about the use of Chaco buildings. However, the lecturer casts doubt on these hypothses, and he believes none of them is convincing. The lecturer's views are as follows.（缺少表语，as follow是adv.)
To begin with, the author assumes that the Chaco structures were purely residential. On the contrary, the speaker refutes this point. According to him, though the building outside looks like the native house, the inside of this building does not agree the author's point. Additionally, since these structures each housed hundreds of people at that time, it is supposed to have many fire places for cooking. Unfortunately, the stucture indeed has few fire places, so it can not（cannot才是正确的写法，另外缺少be） used for housing people.
Moreover, the professor disproves the second theory given by the writer. From the professor's part, he ascertains the ideal（idea) that Chaco structures were used to store food supplies is unpersuasive. To explain this, he stresses that there are little grain maize on the floor or maize containers in the structures. So we(we用在这里有点唐突） could figure out that the Chaco structures may （缺少动词，be）not the store places for food supplies.
Besides, the passage demonstrates that houses were used as ceremonial centers. Conversely, the lecturer is skeptical about this. He emphasizes that material such as sand and stone found in mound may come from the constructions or pots which were used to cook meal. （这个和听力意思有点出入，听力貌似是讲 也发现了sand 和 stone，另外pots很可能是以前建筑工人留下的）Therefore, we safely arrive the point that the Chacos houses were not the exact places for special ceremonies.

To sum up, considering in depth about the use of Chaco building, the speaker shows hesitation on these three competing theories presented by the writer.

总评 婷婷把文章写得很丰满，词语用的很好，听力的细节把握也很好。注意一下表达上的错误就好。 very good！

瓜瓜不瓜

5.4 独立（所举事例信手捏来，请勿当真，哈哈）
10.8.28 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The main purpose for people who have jobs is for money rather than social status.  黄色高亮 绿色为表达上不足 红色为内容上的不足
There are a good number of reasons to hunt a job: some people take the job for money; others put the first priority on the social status（换成put social status on the top priority 更好）; and someone choose his or her career because of the interest. As far as I am concerned, the main goal for people to pursuit a job is social status, and my points are as follows.（又见as follow做表语，我没有见过这个表达，婷婷用之前查证一下吧）

Fist of all, sincehigh social status jobs usually is accompanied with good salary and respect, this job encourages everyone to stive for it. Take my example, my gregarious uncle works as a doctor in a famous hospital, and he gets well paid via those operations. Besides, since he could save the patient's life in a certain emergency, he is respected by us. Thus, my dream is to be a doctor like my uncle for the sake of both wealth and respect. This goal helps me subconsciously work hard. During my school period, I always got up early and went to bed late. Luckily, I become a doctor after my graduation. Thus, we safely arrive the point that the job with social status enhances people to struggle for it. 例子有点弱


In addition, the job with social status also plays an essential role to cultivate the sense of achievement. Every individual tend to be insteemedesteemedby others through their painstaking work. And the Beijing Olympic games throbbed me that much. Once I was anxious for losing the direction to get to the right match. Then a little volunteer came to me and offered me a map. Furthermore, he even guided me to the place. At the gate of the match thanked him a lot. At this （that 貌似更合适，thismoment一般都是接现在进行时）moment, the little volunteer smiled which brighted me, he said, he just felt so great for doing me a favor. I am impressed by this volunteer's sense of achievement. So, we figure out that the job with social recognition contributes to one's sense of achievement.



Admittedly, I concede a comparative multitude of people take the job for money to some degree, those people are not able to enjoy the real happiness. Take the rural migrate workers as a good case, （.）this group of people moves（move） into towns to seek ways to make money. But as they are lack of specific skills or experiences, they are just placed on the jobs which demands formidable labor work. In this way, these rural workers become exhausted each day but receive less money as well as admiration, not mention happiness.



To sum up, considering in depth, since a job with social status gives people much money, respect and sense of achievement, people are supposed to spare no effort to chase these jobs. Therefore, I believe the main purpose of workers is for social status.

这篇独立确实不好写啊。不过婷婷还是用比较八股的形式把它写的丰满了。
只是三个段落的例子都有点弱，尤其第二段和第三段，总分总的格式用的过于明显，读起来有点难受。
表达上婷婷还是有很多很亮眼的词。
加油！！！

婷婷connie

5.6 综合
To meet the demand of high ecological standards, a good number of wood companies have emerged in the United States. The passage presents some reasons to oppose these companies, but the speaker is for these companies.

To begin with,  the writer thinks that American consumers pay no attention to the ecocertification label. Conversely, the lecturer refutes this point. He stresses that since every wood company makes their own  products, those wood companies have confidence to attract most customers. Besides, as these products are managed by certain ecological organizations, the companies need not worry about the matter of advertisement.

Moreover, the professor casts doubt on the idea that ecocertified wood is too expensive for consumers to buy. To illustrate this, the professor emphasizes: since there is not a obvious difference between the price of certified and uncertified wood, people would be more preferable to purchase the certified wood in the sake of environmental protection. Therefore, the cost on ecocertified wood does not count much when choosing a specific wood.

In addition,  the author suggests that American companies always keep up with the development of other parts of the world. On the contrary, the speaker explains that as these wood companies face the international competitions, they have to rivial foreign wood companies in the nation. Thus, those domestic companies are supposed to try their best to satisfy the merchandise both domestically and abroad.

To sum up, the writer is negative about the development of the domestic wood companies, while the leturer believes that those companies will come into prosperity no sooner or later.

婷婷connie

5.6 独立
5月6日10.10.30 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

The past hundred years have witnessed the development of society, especially the education industry. During old days, it was only the right for the rich to get educated. However, nowadays every individual has an access to get enrolled in school. So, I cannot agree more that people are now easier to receive education.

To begin with, the perceptional transformation is one of the main factors which makes it easier for people to become educated. For example,it is generally admitted that education was not available to most Chinese people who were at the lower class in the society at feudal time since these group of people had neither wealth nor rights. Conversely, with the revolution programs, citizens nowadays are more lucky. Citizens have changed their thoughts on education as peopel understand that everyone has equal rights to get educated no matter rich or poor, male or female. Thus, the changing view makes people become more easier to be involved in education.

Furthermore, the advancement of technology and science plays an essential role to encourage the process of education. With the development of society, a good number of inventions now being applied onto education industry. Due to the advent of projector, children are able to acquire more knowledge within the limited time instead of waiting teachers to write down all notes on the blackboard. Additionally, the internet helps students search practical information more efficiently. Only by keying into some specific words into the search engine box, then students will obtain a great deal of points. Therefore, the high technology and science enhance easiness of receiving the education.  

In addition, it is the government that exerts an huge effect on the prosperity of education. Though a multitude of residents have realized the fundamentality of education, there still some people who live in rural areas do not recognize its importance. In that way, the government promises the chance for early education. For instance, since the 1980s the Chinese government has ratified a law which requests that parents have to obligation to make their children enrolled in the primary school and middle school. Consequently, all children are given opportunities to sit in a bright classroom and listen to a benign teacher. So we safely arrive the point that people are now easier to get educated.

To sum up, since people's sense of education have been greatly improved, and the technology as well as the government also make a big difference, we can figure out that people are now easier to become educated than ever.

婷婷connie

婷婷 我来晚了。。sorry!  黄色高亮为亮点 红色为内容不足 绿色为表达上的不足
5.4 综合
In the passage, the writer pitches three competing theories about the use of Chaco buildings. However, the lecturer casts doubt on these hypothses, and he believes none of them is convincing. The lecturer's views are as follows.（缺少表语，as follow是adv.)
To begin with, the author assumes that the Chaco structures were purely residential. On the contrary, the speaker refutes this point. According to him, though the building outside looks like the native house, the inside of this building does not agree the author's point. Additionally, since these structures each housed hundreds of people at that time, it is supposed to have many fire places for cooking. Unfortunately, the stucture indeed has few fire places, so it can not（cannot才是正确的写法，另外缺少be） used for housing people.
Moreover, the professor disproves the second theory given by the writer. From the professor's part, he ascertains the ideal（idea) that Chaco structures were used to store food supplies is unpersuasive. To explain this, he stresses that there are little grain maize on the floor or maize containers in the structures. So we(we用在这里有点唐突） could figure out that the Chaco structures may （缺少动词，be）not the store places for food supplies.
Besides, the passage demonstrates that houses were used as ceremonial centers. Conversely, the lecturer is skeptical about this. He emphasizes that material such as sand and stone found in mound may come from the constructions or pots which were used to cook meal. （这个和听力意思有点出入，听力貌似是讲 也发现了sand 和 stone，另外pots很可能是以前建筑工人留下的）Therefore, we safely arrive the point that the Chacos houses were not the exact places for special ceremonies.

To sum up, considering in depth about the use of Chaco building, the speaker shows hesitation on these three competing theories presented by the writer.

总评 婷婷把文章写得很丰满，词语用的很好，听力的细节把握也很好。注意一下表达上的错误就好。 very good！

-- by 会员 瓜瓜不瓜 (2012/5/5 18:07:54)

1.as follows 的争议很多啊，我在langman上没有查到，不过在中文网站上查到了用法：some regular examples as follows，还是少用吧。
2.老缺be动词，下次注意改正。
3.material such as sand and stone found in mound may come from the constructions or pots which were used by those construction workers to cook meal.  我理解得不是很清楚

ps:辛苦瓜瓜了~

stones4

To meet the demand of high ecological standards, a good number of wood companies have emerged in the United States. The passage presents some reasons to oppose these companies, but the speaker is for these companies.这里···有误吧

To begin with,  the writer thinks that American consumers pay no attention to the ecocertification label. Conversely, the lecturer refutes this point. He stresses that since every wood company makes their own  products, those wood companies have confidence to attract most customers. Besides, as these products are managed by certain ecological organizations, 产品只是获得了机构认证，而不是机构销售the companies need not worry about the matter of advertisement.



Moreover, the professor casts doubt on the idea that ecocertified wood is too expensive for consumers to buy. To illustrate this, the professor emphasizes: since there is not a obvious difference between the price of certified and uncertified wood, people would be more preferable to purchase the certified wood in the sake of environmental protection. Therefore, the cost on ecocertified wood does not count much when choosing a specific wood.这里听力里举了具体的数据，如果加上就更好了less than five percent

In addition,  the author suggests that American companies always keep up with the development of other parts of the world.Third, although some people claim that it always makes good business sense for American companies to keep up with the developments in the rest of the world, this argument is not convincing.原文是这样的，婷婷这里的总结写反了On the contrary, the speaker explains that as these wood companies face the international competitions, they have to rivial foreign wood companies in the nation. Thus, those domestic companies are supposed to try their best to satisfy the merchandise both domestically and abroad.

To sum up, the writer is negative about the development of the domestic wood companies, while the leturer believes that those companies will come into prosperity no去掉 sooner or later.



文章组织的很好。注意一下，句子的因果关系。

瓜瓜不瓜

哈今天咱两互批 黄色高亮为亮点，红色为文章内容的错误，绿色为表达上的不足
5.6 综合
To meet the demand of high ecological standards, a good number of wood companies have emerged in the United States. The passage presents some reasons to oppose these companies, but the speaker is for these companies. （额，婷婷，我觉得这篇综合主要是在讨论的是wood companies 要不要去做ecocertification, 关注点不是wood companies，或许你要表达的是这个意思，但是从第一段看给人的感觉是，你主要是要讲wood companies额）

To begin with, the writer thinks that American consumers pay no attention to the ecocertification label. Conversely, the lecturer refutes this point. He stresses that since every wood company makes their own products, those wood companies have confidence to attract most customers（为什么会有confidence？我觉得要把听力里面那个distinct强调出来哦）. Besides, as these products are managed by certain ecological organizations, the companies need not worry about the matter of advertisement.(文章提到的是美国人民很相信independent agency with reputation)（婷婷，这段开头你把fous集中到ecocertification label，很好，但要抓牢听力内容，也可能是我听得有偏差哈）

Moreover, the professor casts doubt on the ideathat ecocertified wood is too expensive for consumers to buy(too...to的意思是，太..而不能做某事，这里用着太绝对了）. To illustrate this, the professor emphasizes: since there is not a obvious difference between the price of certified and uncertified wood, people would be more preferable to purchase the certified wood in the sake of environmental protection. Therefore, the cost on ecocertified wood does not count much when choosing a specific wood.

In addition, the author suggests that American companies always keep up with the development of other parts of the world. On the contrary, the speaker explains that as these wood companies face the international competitions,缺少连词they have to rivial foreign wood companies in the nation. Thus, those domestic companies are supposed to try their best to satisfy the merchandise both domestically and abroad.

To sum up, the writer is negative about the development of the domestic wood companies, while the leturer believes that those companies will come into prosperity no sooner or later.

总评：开头和结尾都存在重点不明的情况。
        第一个点没有抓准。但是第二，三点都抓得很对。
        婷婷的表达很好，注意下听力，就perfect了！

stones4

5.5 独立
5月5日10.12.3
NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should help children to do their work rather than encouraging them to do the work on their own.      
In the contemporary society, hords of打错了?people realized the fundamentality of children's education. And some people hold that parents are supposed to pay more attention to their children and help children with their work. However, I disagree with this view, and my reasons are as following.
To begin with, encouraging children to work on their own makes children obtain more knowledge. Since children are put to solve the issue alone, they will subconsciously learn to gather aboundant information by themselves. Take my gregarious brother Tom as an example. Once his class planned to go out for picnic to enjoy the fascinating spring. As the monitor, he took the duty to make some preparations: mastering the routine, expenditures and the weatherforecast.前面都把动词加上吧，光用master挺奇怪的At that moment, his parents encouraged him to try to deal with this on his own.Tom本来就有责任负责这些事情，因为他是班长，这里他父母又鼓励他自己处理，这里有点不通Then he searched a great deal of information via Internet and telephone. Finally, they had an unforgettable spring trip. Additionally, Tom got much practical knowledge about trip which would come into use in the future.这里加上有点多余 Thus, it is a excellent way to make children aquire knowledge by encouraging childen to work alone.

Furthermore, children's indenpendent work enables themselves to own a larger social circle. Since every individual live in a large circle of friends, people can not avoid communcating with others. Obviously, children's independent work show its advantages. According to the survey conducted by China Juvenile Fund, over 85% of youngsters who usually work out problems on their own tend to be more own intimate friends. Specifically, we can figure out that when a child comes to tackle something difficult without parents' help, he may turn to his classmates, which often results in the friendship between two partners.  So, it is more likely for children to gain bigger friends circles by independent work.
Besides, putting children to work on their own also reliease打字打快喽 the pressure over painstaking parents. Since parents have concentrated in their formidable works有这样的形容吗 during the day, they must be weary and tired用词重复 after work. In this waycase这里语感上是这样的，可以无视, children should be motivated to finish their troubles independently. After all, it is the time for parents to have a good rest at home. Only do the parents relax and refresh themselves at home, can they be more efficient on the job and make contributions to the country.突然提高到社会角度了！有点硬拉的感觉 Thus, it is better to enhance children to work on their own instead of accompanying them in their work.  
Considering all analysis above, since the parents' policy which encourages children to do their work indenpendently gets children more invloved in the society, they can recieve not only knowledge but also friends. Besides, this policy offers parents more freedom to manage their own time. So, I prefer to encourage children to work independently.


作文已经很好了···

注意最后，自己检查的时候看看一些细节

Ps抱歉改晚了【跪！

瓜瓜不瓜

5.6 独立 黄色为亮点 红色为表达上的不足here we go.

5月6日10.10.30 NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People are now easier to become educated than in the past.

The past hundred years have witnessed the development of society, especially the education industry. During old days, it was only the right for the rich to get educated. However, nowadays every individual has an access to get enrolled in school. So, I cannot agree more that people are now easier to receive education.

To begin with, the perceptional transformation is one of the main factors whichmakes(make) it easier for people to become educated. For example,it is generally admitted that education was not available to most Chinese people who were at the lower class in the societyat feudal time since these group of people had neither wealth nor rights. Conversely, with the revolution programs, citizens nowadays are more lucky. Citizens have changed their thoughts on education as peopel understand that everyone has equal rights to get educated no matter rich or poor, male or female. Thus, the changing view makes people become more easier to be involved in education.

Furthermore, the advancement of technology and science plays an essential role to encourage the process of education. With the development of society, a good number of inventions now being applied onto （into）education industry. Due to the advent of projector, children are able to acquire more knowledge within the limited time instead of waiting teachers to write down all notes on the blackboard. Additionally, the internet helps students search practical information more efficiently. Only by keying into some specific words into the search engine box, then students will obtain a great deal of points（points 用在这里不太地道哈，用information吧）. Therefore, the high technology and science enhance easiness of receiving the education.

In addition, it is the government that exerts an huge effect on the prosperity of education. Though a multitude of residents have realized the fundamentality of education, there still some people who live in rural areas do not recognize its importance. In that way, the government promises the chance for early education. For instance, since the 1980s the Chinese government has ratified a law which requests that parents have to obligation to make their children enrolled in the primary school and middle school. Consequently, all children are given opportunities to sit in a bright classroom and listen to a benign teacher. So we safely arrive the point that people are now easier to get educated.

To sum up, since people's sense of education have been greatly improved, and the technology as well as the government also make a big difference, we can figure out that people are now easier to become educated than ever.

总：鼓掌！写的很好。几点支持点很好，逻辑很连贯，表达也很丰富。基本上也没有语法的错误。excellent！