【写作小分队】第一篇，献丑了

noarkid

大哥。。。。每天要改一篇别人的写一篇自己的。。。。你还要我再改一篇啊？几天后就考试了，还要准备口语。。。。。。。你自己加写作大本营就好了，别想不劳而获

noarkid

2月28日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to choose friends that could have fun with than to choose friends that will help you when you are in need.

As we live in the world, we need to develop various relationship with different people. Most people would believe that you should make sure whether the one who you get alone with have the potential to help you when you in trouble before bond a relationship. However, I do not agree with it. I do think it is not necessary do such a thing, because, it may be in vain.

Though, I also agree with the famous saying "A friend in need is a friend in deed." It just defines what a true friend should be, but not how to choose a friend. It is nearly impossible for one to know whether his/her friends would help him/her or not, because at the time the relationship began no one would know much about his/her friend. So, it's impossible to use such quality as a rule to choose friends. Just imagine, what happen if you ask someone you meet at first time what would he/she do when you have a hard time, like just be fired? I think it would enrage that man, as your sending a trustless signal.

And, in fact, no one would encounter trouble every time. On the contrary, the length of the life makes much of the life very boring. So, I think those just have some friends that might help them in the future, are less happy than those who have friends that can play with killing time together. What is more, people stay together all the time tends to build a more stable relationship. And thus, they may also support their friends when their friends are in trouble after a long time contacting.

In conclusion, I prefer to choose friends that could have fun with. The life is really boring, spent time with friends will kill the boring time, and then, as more time spent together, we would develop a much more stable relationship. So there is not any necessary to choose friends by judging whether or not the friend has responsibility, which is also impossible.

noarkid

真的觉得写作文好困。。。。。好困，上课以后就整天半夜写作。。。。不要考试时候一些作文就犯困咯

ft3098563

As we live in the world, we need to developvarious relationship with different people. Most people would believe that youshould make sure whether the one who you get alone with have the potential tohelp you when you in trouble before bond a relationship. However, I do notagree with it. I do think it is not necessary do such a thing, because, it maybe in vain.
文章的第一段通常包括引进话题，简述题目背景和给出个人观点三个部分(有时前两者可融为一体)。它会给评阅人留下关键的第一印象，所以非常关键。恕我直言，此文首段并没有明确告知读者这篇文章到底要讲什么，而作者的观点也很模糊，it is not necessary do such a thing指什么，最好明确指出来，不该羞涩时一定不要羞涩。
Though, I also agree with the famous saying"A friend in need is a friend in deed." It just defines what a truefriend should be, but not how to choose a friend. It is nearly impossible forone to know whether his/her friends would help him/her or not, because at thetime the relationship began no one would know much about his/her friend. So,it's impossible to use such quality（没有明白想表达什么意思） as a rule to choose friends. Justimagine, what happen if you ask someone you meet at first time what wouldhe/she do when you have a hard time, like just be fired? I think it wouldenrage that man, as your sending a trustless signal.
此段首句应当给出一个论点，以支持自己的观点。但显然本文论点并没有直接给出。说实话本段没有看懂作者想要表达什么意思。
And, in fact, no one would encounter trouble every time. On the contrary, thelength of the life makes much of the life very boring. So, I think those just have some friends that might help them in thefuture, are less happy than those who have friends that can play with killingtime together. （此句话很不通顺，建议修改一下）What is more, peoplestay together all the time tends to build a more stable relationship. And thus,they may also support their friends when their friends are in trouble after along time contacting.

In conclusion, I prefer to choose friends thatcould have fun with. （终于明确表达了自己的观点）The life is really boring,spent time with friends will kill the boring time, and then, as more time spenttogether, we would develop a much more stable relationship. So there is not anynecessary to choose friends by judging whether or not the friend hasresponsibility, which is also impossible.
写作时要多注意文章的结构，在把结构搭好的基础下训练词法句法的表达，语言不需要多漂亮，但是最重要的是要让你的读者读懂，这是写好文章的基础。

noarkid

2月29日Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important problems in today’s world will be solved in our lifetime.

Personally, I think the most important problem in the world is the environmental problem, which has already caused a serious influence to the human society and nature. Especially after the industrial revolution, human have create large quantity of waste much more than ever before, hence the environmental problem. But I think the human will solve this problem in our lifetime.

To begin with, nowadays, more and more people become aware of the importance of the environmental protection. They know that the worse environment will make them sick, the global warming will cause serious problem for the society, and the exhausted of the resource will make every one go through a hard time. And thus, more and more people take action and just do their best to solve such kind of problem. They do, for instance, save water by use it several times, go out by bike rather than drive a car, and plant trees every year. Though, for individual, the influence may be limited, when all of people take action to protect the earth, the solving of the environmental is just a matter of time. And I do not think it would cost life long.

What is more, the technology is developing rapidly, and more and more new technique developed will help solving the problem easily. I think scientists will create a device that can help clean the air, the soil and the water; and they would also find a method to save resource more effectively; also they would find a way to stop the pace of global warming. The potential of science is very unpredictable, and just believe everything will be fine in the future.

In conclusion, the most important problems nowadays will be solved in our lifetime. Since everyone has realize the problem and take action to solve it, with the help of science, nothing will be impossible. And the problem, no matter how important it is, will be solve in a short time.

noarkid

自己说一下目标两天内要改了的毛病，1字数要上350，2 错别字不能再超过5个。。。。尼玛，发现5分钟给自己丫也检查不出什么错别字啊

Crystaljoy

自己说一下目标两天内要改了的毛病，1字数要上350，2 错别字不能再超过5个。。。。尼玛，发现5分钟给自己丫也检查不出什么错别字啊

-- by 会员 noarkid (2012/2/29 21:02:01)

那5分钟可以读出来，拼写到无大碍，凭语感能检查出语法小毛病。OG上说偶尔的小错误不影响理解的没关系，同一个词前面拼错后面拼对就认为你会。这点上还是少有的人道的哈`

noarkid

The writer mainly talks about the way to control the number of the cane toad. But the professor thinks the measure discussed in the essay will not get rid of the cane crops.


The reading materials first stated that building a national fence could be a good way to prevent the spread of the toad from moving out. But, it could not be justified, the professor pointed out that the fence could only stop the spreading, but can not reduce the number of the species, therefore it is not a effective solution.


The speaker also disagree with the idea in the passage that organizing a campaign to destroy the toads. He noted that it is hard to distinguish between the cane toad and an endangered native frog spices, especially when they are young. Thus, this activity may cause much damage to such spices.


Finally, the writer suggests using a virus to control the toad, which will specifically harm only the cane toads. However, the professor pointed out that this kind of virus is artificial, and if this kind of disease spread to America, it will destroy the local ecosystem by killing all cane toad there.


All in all, the professor does not think any solution is both effective and environmental friendly.
综合吧今天。。。。。

越人歌

红色修改 蓝色疑问 高亮精彩

The writer mainly talks about the way to control the number of the cane toad. But the professor thinks the measure discussed in the essay will not 感觉加一个 help the region 比较通一点 get rid of the cane crops.


The reading materials material（单数吧应该） first stated后面都是现在时的，这里就不要用过去时的了吧 that building a national fence could be a good way to prevent the spread of the toad from moving out 语法有一点奇怪，prevent the spread from moving out 防止扩散开始发生？这个moving out 是开始行动的意思吗？呃，我不太懂 . But, it could not be justified, the professor pointed out that the fence could only stop the spreading, but can not reduce the number of the species, therefore it is not a effective solution.我感觉这个点不太对，应该是讲这个fence不能完全起到隔离的效果，一些eggs会随着河流跨越过去，所以这个方法不靠谱


The speaker also disagree with the idea in the passage that这里用of比较通一点 organizing a campaign to destroy the toads. He noted that it is hard to distinguish between the cane toad and an endangered native frog species(这个去掉吧), especially when they are young. Thus, this activity may cause much damage to such spicesspecies，这个词用得太多了，建议改成 those frogs 或者别的什么.


Finally, the writer suggests using a virus to control the toad, which will specifically harm only the cane toads. However, the professor pointed还是时态问题 out that this kind of virus is artificial, and if this kind of disease有点重复了，建议用it代替 spread to America, it will destroy the local ecosystem by killing all cane toads there.


All in all, the professor does not think any solution is both effective and environmental friendly.

总体还是可以的，就是很多细节要多注意，特别是点一定要听准，这个是得高分的关键。

第一次改作文，没什么经验，因为刚考的GMAT所以在语法上可能会纠结得比较多一点

一起加油吧！O(∩_∩)O

noarkid

3.2综合
The lecture mainly talks about a new guidelines found in British, solving the problems discussed in the passage.

The writer believes that the archaeology suffer a lot in UK. It states that the valuable artifacts were lost when digging foundations for new buildings. And the financial support for archaeological search is limited, which makes it hard for the archaeologists to investigate different places. Also, the archaeology jobs were not adequate, left most of the archaeological research unpaid.

However the professor points out that the career has changed a lot since the foundation of the guidelines state, mainly by three ways. First of all, the new policy from the government command the new program in the city should acquire the agreement of the archaeologists, reducing the damage to the archaeological buidings. Secondly, archaeolgists are paied by new construction company wich is a kind of new financial support. And third, the new guidelines also provide lots of paid work, makes the archaeologists pursue their careers easily.

So the professor do not agree with the statement the science of archaeology in Britain is faced with serious problems.