晨依小超人的写作贴，欢迎拍砖！

晨依Jacqueline

O(∩_∩)O谢谢Jason大神~！
我喜欢这个颜色~~~charming

晨依Jacqueline

【TPO21综合修改稿】



The reading introduces a new kind of plant-genetically modified tree, which is expected to bring about considerable economic benefit, while the lecturer holds opposite idea that such genetically modified tree species is not as good as it might sound for its hidden cost and serious problems after a closely scrutiny（好高级的词汇！我从来都没有见过……羞愧！继续背单词背单词）. Three points are provided to contradict to the passage.

Primarily, the lecturer admits the point cast in the reading that genetic modified trees are resistant to some conditions. However, uniform as they are, when faced with undesigned threatening environmental changes, for example the climate change, they may lose their ability of resistance. What is worse, unlike the non-genetic(genetically) modified trees, all geneticallymodified trees tend to die out instead of dying out individually. This obviously impairs(又是一个不知道的词，我可怜的词汇量啊~)the opinion in the passage.

Besides, contrast to the promised economic profit the genetic modified trees may bring about cast in the passage, the professor claims that the invisible cost of planting that kind of tree is neglected. According to the law, people who grow genetically modified trees are not permitted collecting seeds or using the timbers for free/at will/spontaneously. They have to pay extra money to the tree company instead.

In the end, the author points out that genetically trees can prevent the overexploitation of wild trees for they can well satisfy people's need for timbers and firewoods, which is beneficial to environmental protection.On the contrary(感觉Jason的思维很严谨！Cool~~), in the speaker's view, genetic modified trees are grown so agressively(Aggressively) that they will compete fiercely with the local wild trees. (我写的as for本来是想表达“至于”的意思，可是读了读确实用在这里不合适……)Planted among natural trees, this kind of trees will occupynatural sources such as water, sunlight and soil etc., which will surely cuts the number of other unique tree species.

晨依Jacqueline

TPO22 综合写作
The reading material questions the real benefit of using Ethanol fuel, an alternative energy to gasoline, which is made of plants like corns or sugar canes. However, the listening material insisted that none of the three viewpoints seem to be convincing to support that idea.

Initially, contrary to what is mentioned in the passage, increasing use of Ethanol fuel would not be detrimental to environmental protection. According to the lecture, though burning Ethanol fuel does release carbon dioxide to the atmosphere, in fact it does not add the global warming effect. That is because the Ethanol fuel is made of plants, which absorb carbon dioxide as nutrition from the atmosphere when growing up, and in that way the carbon dioxide is removed by the plants. Hence, the Ethanol fuel is indeed an environmental-friendly energy.

Another important point showed in the text is that with the widely use of Ethanol fuel, plants which are available for animals or food will sharply reduce. In contrast, the lecturer presents an oppositing idea that the large production of Ethanol fuel would not lessen food available for animals.  As a matter of fact, a plant species, which is not eaten by animals, can be used to produce Ethanol fuel without making the plants disappearing. This also differs from the writer's standpoint.

Finally, the author states that the Ethanol fuel would not have a price advantage to gasoline, while the author firmly believes that Ethanol fuel will be much competitive on price in the future. As is indicated in the reading, in spite of the same current price they share, the price of Ethanol fuel will greatly improve without the tax policy than that of gasoline. The professor refutes that point. He claims that since the Ethanol fuel satisfies people's need, the larger production Ethanol fuel is, the lower price will be available.

Crystaljoy

蛤蛤。

觉得Jason讲的摇曳多姿好。。。好。。。逗！

改的也妩媚婀娜~~~~~

喵喵了个咪

改TPO19 Integrated Writing

The reading material shows the critics(意思不通，改为criticism) towards a new type of advertisement-buzzing, in which it argues the buzzing is fake and should be banned. On the contrary, the speaker of the listening material, who is a buzzer himself opposes the reading text.

In the first place, the reading material thinks that buzzers are paid to promote the products instead of praise the goods from their bottom of heart. While Bill, the lecturer holds the opinion that buzzers are usually(这里读着怪怪的应该是usually are吧) consumers who speak highly of the products after real use. Buzzers regard the service they had useful(时态应该是一般完成时改为have used) so that they are willing to promote the goods not only for being paid.

Secondly, point provided by the reading content is that the description of the buzzers are empty and they pretended themselves as private individuals, for which reason it is not trust-worthy. In contrast, the lecturer agrees to the opposite. He considers only by answering the questions in details can their products promoted(语义不通改为take their products promoted), so they are paid for complicating the good service.

Furthermore, the worst detrimental effect pointed in the reading is that buzzing is pron to harm spread mistrust and dishonesty, harming the social relationships. That idea is considered stupid by the lecturer, who thinks there is no recruiting buzz and actually it is a good experience which would not threaten the interpersonal relationship.

In conclusion, the reading material holds an opposite attitude to buzzings but the lecturer, who is a buzzer argues that the reading text mislead the consumers of buzzings.



表述结构清晰，注意语法问题。我觉得需要在没点后边稍加一些lecture中的举例细节。还有就是字数超了一点点。。

晨依Jacqueline

O(∩_∩)O谢谢喵总~~
我再去听一听，修改一下。

jasonliu119

The reading material questions the real benefit of using Ethanol fuel, an alternative energy to gasoline, which is made of plants like corns or sugar canes. However, the listening material insisted that none of the three viewpoints seem(单数) to be convincing to support that idea.

Initially（initially有放在段首的用法么？你是想表达“首先”的意思吧？不如用To begin with？）, contrary to what is mentioned in the passage, increasing use of Ethanol fuel would not be detrimental to environmental protection. According to the lecture, though burning Ethanol fuel does release carbon dioxide to the atmosphere, in fact it does not add the global warming effect. That is because the Ethanol fuel is made of plants, which absorb carbon dioxide as nutrition from the atmosphere when growing up, and in that way the carbon dioxide is removed by the plants（这里读起来怪怪的：这个carbon dioxide 是植物生长利用的那部分，还是指burning E fuel 产生的那部分？要说清楚，或者可以最后一句改成：in this way the additional carbon dioxide from burning the Ethanol fuel can be absorbed by plants. Hence, the Ethanol fuel is indeed an environmental-friendly energy.

Another important point showed in the text is that with the widely use of Ethanol fuel, plants which are available for animals or food will sharply reduce. In contrast, the lecturer presents an oppositing idea that the large production of Ethanol fuel would not lessen food available for animals.  As a matter of fact, a plant species, which is not eaten by animals, can be used to produce Ethanol fuel without making the plants disappearing（能不用make就不用，因为这个词太笼统了；不如改成without posing a threat to the survival of these plants）. This also differs from the writer's standpoint.

Finally, the author states that the Ethanol fuel would not have a price advantage to gasoline, while the author firmly believes that Ethanol fuel will be much competitive on price in the future. As is indicated in the reading, in spite of the same current price they share, the price of Ethanol fuel will greatly improve （price也能improve的么？这个搭配有问题吧？）without the tax policy than (哪里有比较级了？？？) that of gasoline. The professor refutes that point. He claims （by claiming 这样更连贯） that since the Ethanol fuel satisfies people's need, the larger production Ethanol fuel is, the lower price will be available（可以在一个宾语从句中嵌套一个状语从句+the 比较级，the 比较级结构的么？反正我是不敢用，因为我觉得这样句子很累赘，怕如果外国人没这样用的话就是一个大大的缺陷了；我一般宾语从句都是简简单单的主谓宾结构，最多加一个状语从句）.

句式很好啊，变化多端。
然后以上的建议大部分是我个人的感觉，（本人比较保守，呵呵）请原谅我不想查证了~呵呵，你查证一下吧~总体还是很不错的啊！

jasonliu119

by the way 貌似之前有人说你字数超过了。我个人感觉字数无上限，只要把你觉得要写的东东写完整就好，我考试时的综合写了300多的

jasonliu119

后来我想了想，感觉我标记的最后一句还是有问题：the larger production Ethanol fuel is.... 意思是E fuel 是 更多的生产？搭配不太通啊。建议改为：the larger production of Ethanol fuel will make the lower price pssible

maylovehe1

Automobiles and airplanes are regarded as two typical of greatest inventions during the second industry(industrial) revolution, which have brought significant impacts on peoples' daily life. As far as I am concerned, cars actually overweigh airplanes when talking about the influences they have made to our society.



MLH:

1. 建议which跟在被修饰的词后面,更加清楚. Automobiles and airplanes, which are regarded as the greatest inventions during the second industrial revolution, have brought out significant impacts on peoples’ life.

2. 建议先说大多数人的观点,然后更加突出自己的观点. 可以加在As far as I am concerned…之前

3. 当谈论起对社会的贡献时,汽车的作用一定是超过飞机的. The advantages of cars absolutely overweigh the airplanes when talking about the contribution to our society. 这句话我总觉得不太平衡,所以楼主自己考虑一下…




First and foremost, automobiles win a more popular use (感觉稍微有点怪) as (since) they are smaller in size and cheaper (in price) than all airplanes. Larger size airplanes are manufactured than cars, never (neither… nor and Never… nor) can they park in small places or (nor) at anywhere we want. Accordingly, parking lots are available here and there in our communities while airports are limited in numbers in a city (while numbers of airports are limitation). What is more, with the rapid development of public transportation, such as the subways and BRTs, cars or buses have almost covered all roads and avenues in cities and rural areas. even (and only) cost people one or two yuan (in China) (We can enjoy the convenience from these ways of transportation by only spending one or two yuan in China). Plus, shopping malls like Walmart provide parking lots for (customer who own private cars), which is far more convenient for us driving to do some shopping there. So many factors accounted, automobiles obtain a wide popularity among people.



MLH: Plus, shopping malls like Walmart always have their special services that provide parking lots for customers who own private cars, which is very thoughtful for us driving cars to do shopping at there.


In the second place, cars have a priority in time-saving than airplanes. As airports are usually far (away) from the center of the city and (delete and), they are not allowed to have an emergency pause in the halfway during the flight. For instance, getting to the only one airport covers a long distance because it is located in the suburb of my city, which costs us a great deal of money and time. Additionaly (Additionally), people are usually required to arrive at the airport in advance in order to check in and board, occupying one hour or more at average. In contrast, people can drive cars at their convenient (at their convenience) and decide what time to start their tour or have a stop at somewhere to satisfy personal needs.

Last but not least, though cars have their limits which really confused people most(a lot), for example, the increasing number of private cars has led to the lack of parking lots. (这个是你首段论述的正面例子,不太好拿出来作反面教材,); (上句话没有说完，这里应该是并列吧？) though people nowadays complaining much more (no more would be better)about the outnumber of cars and air pollution caused by automobiles than they did in the past, no one would deny that cars have indeed become a（an） essential part of people's life(in our society). As cars make massive contributions to our society, a majority of people still consider driving cars as their best choice of going to other places. (I think the last sentence is more or less additional sentence can be deleted)

In one word, since cars are of greater convenience than airplanes, obviously they have more powerful influences to society and bring tremendous impact(s) to people's daily life.(our life)