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快考试了,谁能帮我看看作文,看能的几分啊!!!-->melodybb1224转移

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楼主
发表于 2005-3-5 07:56:00 | 只看该作者

快考试了,谁能帮我看看作文,看能的几分啊!!!


110 Some people prefer to spend most of their time alone. Others like to be with friends most of  the time. Do you prefer to spend your time alone or with friends? Use specific reasons to support your answer.


I think that friend is the most important thing in our life .If you have a lot of friends ,you can obtain pleasure and knowledge from them. Obviously, i prefer to spend my time with friends and elaborate my views as follows.


First and formost , friendship can provide a lot of fun to me.Every time I get together with friends to play games such as footabll, table tennis and so on, we can enjoy the game and chat together . Even more, we can share our skill of the game and interesting. After competition, we buy some beverages to celeberate our triumph and feel comfortable and happy. Obviously, i like to spend my time with friends.


the second reason for my view is that getting together with friends can share a lot of knowledge. Numerous facts can prove this piont. When I meet some difficult  mathematic problems , I am always with my friends to discuss the problems and solved the problems in different means which more efficiently carry out the formulae of the math. naturally, i got the best key to solve the problems and  gained a lot of new knowledge.


Last but not least, spending time with friends can improve our ability of the teamwork and leadship. In retrospect of the previous time, in which we often played football on the ground, we must be as a group to cooperate and controll the ball, because each position is very important part of the game. After a perfect shoot, naturally our teamwork has improved.


In summary, based on three reasons i presented baove, i strongly suggest that people should spend more time with friends and know more friends to enjoy the beautiful life.


沙发
发表于 2005-3-5 08:19:00 | 只看该作者

快考试了,谁能帮我看看作文,看能的几分啊!!!-->melodybb1224转移

看来又是一个新东方学员,呵

文章结构不错啊,不过有语法错误,拼写错误,还有些句子结构不太地道。要我说应该有4.5吧

加加油,,减少点错误,很容易就到5分了

板凳
发表于 2005-3-5 11:38:00 | 只看该作者

因为这个题目是有比较的意思在里面的, 所以还是应该比较A和B的优缺点的, 这样你的prefer 才比较有说服力. 我觉得用下面这种结构比较好:

第一段, 开头段, 表明prefer A to B

第二段, A 怎么好怎么好, 举例说明, 最后应该提一下B 就没有这么好

第三段, A 怎么好怎么好, 举例说明, 最后也提一下B 就没有这么好

第四段, 让步段(显得全面和客观), B 也有比A 好的地方比如..., 但你还是觉得A比B好

第五段, 结束段



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