急急急！！！TWE015 今天考各位XDJM有建议帮忙题没意见就祝我一路顺风把～谢谢～^_^

北极卖冰箱

明天因为TWE15:Neighbors are the people who live with us, In your opinion, what are the qualities of a good neighbor?

There are people who consider that a good neighbor should be considerate and others think should respect for others’ privacy. In my opinion, besides the characters above they should also be helpful. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoints.

No quality is more important now than consideration. Life witnesses and presents many examples.. Sometimes you may break your neighbors’ windows just by a mistake, if the host of that house is a kind person, you will probably be blamed  only a little bit and after your apologize they will forgive you, but if not, what coming for you is an unavoidable quarrel. So understading each other is in need.

Respecting others’ privacy is another important character of a good neighbor, there is no better illustration that can demonstrate the view that a good neighbor should not show too much interests in others affairs, if someone told you something about their privacy or you get them accidentally, do not be long-tongued, it is no good to put your nose in others’ privacy, if you do not respect other people and they will not respect you! If you can see that you will understand it more deeply.

Last but not least, helpfulness is also an advantage of a nice neighbor, there will always be sometime that you need your neighbors’help, for example, when you are going abroad to have a holiday, you can not take care of your pets and flowers temporarily, at this time, your neighbor can help you!

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we can safely reach the conclusion that a good neighbor should be considerate, respecting others and helpful!

请问这篇文章怎么样啊 能得几分呢 不足的地方希望可以指出，，谢谢大家了

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-17 22:01:21编辑过]

北极卖冰箱

因为17号就要考试了 。。希望大家可以帮助我  谢谢

pengstone

既然楼主马上要考了，俺觉得在语言细节上说多了也没用。几个小小的建议供参考：1、考试时不要犯低级语法错误，这虽说是废话，但的确很管用，一定要留点时间检查。2、不要为了凑字数而去加一些别扭的表达，这样做无法给自己加分，正如“说多错多”一样，简单明了的表达更有效。比如“Respecting others’ privacy is another head and chief character that I have chosen to put here for a good neighbor”，如果是俺，俺就会写简单些：“ respecing others' privacy is another important character of a good neighbor."

北极卖冰箱

哦，了解 ，那么我文章中有没有什么不足得地方和缺点啊，，顺便问下这篇文章能的几分啊

pengstone

结构上没什么问题，关键是语言。如果语言再好点，有希望拿5分。

北极卖冰箱

以下是引用pengstone在2005-1-15 11:26:00的发言：

结构上没什么问题，关键是语言。如果语言再好点，有希望拿5分

可不可以给我举一个例子呢 好比我文章哪一句语言如何改进呢 我好久没写文章了 但是一经提醒还是能发现自己的错误提高的。

pengstone

俺上面已举过一个例子呀。你的问题是具有共性的，简单地说，就是词不达意，用很复杂但并不准确的语言去表达一些简单意思。 要在这方面提高只能靠积累，平时做有心人，看到好的，地道的表达就记不来，并设法变成自己的语言。

北极卖冰箱

以下是引用pengstone在2005-1-15 17:19:00的发言：
俺上面已举过一个例子呀。你的问题是具有共性的，简单地说，就是词不达意，用很复杂但并不准确的语言去表达一些简单意思。 要在这方面提高只能靠积累，平时做有心人，看到好的，地道的表达就记不来，并设法变成自己的语言。

是说遣词造句最好的是用简单易懂的方式写TWE吗？我以前都是那样写 只是怕词汇太简单 句式太普通 会得不到高分。 TWE会不会因为你用的句式和词汇比较简单 而降低你的分数呢？

北极卖冰箱

In lives, people all want to have a good neighbor, depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, the qualities of a good neighbor may differ.  In my opinion, a good neighbor should be considerate, respecting others privacy and helpful. In the following discussion, I would like to reason and provide examples to illustrate my viewpoint.

No quality is more important now than consideration. Life witnesses and presents many examples, a good neighbor is someone who will understand that your pets occasionally run across his yard, even though you told them not to. He will realize that it's not a big deal and he will not make a big fuss on it unless it becomes too often. And he will not play very noisy music at night when you are sleeping.

Helpfulness is another big advantage for a nice neighbor. For instance, when your cars are broken he will give you a ride to work;  when you run uot of milk, they will be glad to lend you some; when you are going to have a overtime in office, he would accommodate your children until you come back. And you would do the same for him.

Last but not the least, respecting others is also important character of a kind neighbor. He will ask you for permission before doing anything that is concerned with your property. And he will not show too much interests in your personal affairs, with such a neighbor, even if you have told him something that about your privacy, you will not worried about that he will tell someone else!

To sum up, there are still plenty of other qualities that can account for a good neighbor, but the obvious ones have been presented as above, a good neighbor can be a good friend and make your life more colorful!

这篇是我改过得，，怎么样呢

[此贴子已经被作者于2005-1-16 10:11:57编辑过]

pengstone

以下是引用北极卖冰箱在2005-1-16 7:21:00的发言：

是说遣词造句最好的是用简单易懂的方式写TWE吗？我以前都是那样写 只是怕词汇太简单 句式太普通 会得不到高分。 TWE会不会因为你用的句式和词汇比较简单 而降低你的分数呢？

会用多变的句式和词语当然好，但要用得比较准确和地道，千万不要按中文的意思“自创”一些看似复杂但不正确的表达！