[作文互改] 互改小组——tao作文贴

taoava

写了几篇作文 期望各位大仙 牛人帮忙改下,小弟特别感谢,本人作文不行，但要考试了,谢谢各位好人,顺便问下怎么上传word版本？作文字数一般写多少比较好考试时候？

原本想传下这个题目的照片，不知道怎么上传 ，请教各位谢了

ARGUMENT25旧6

In this argument the author concludes that a jazz club in Monroe will be profitable venture. To justify this conclusion ,the author pointed out that(1)jazz is popular among Monroe residents(2)every weeknight 7 pm the highest rated radio program in Monroe is “Jazz Night”(3) the typical jazz fan spends $100.00per year on jazz entertainment. However, the applicant’s claim not persuasive, because all points are unreliable survey and some faulty assumptions to draw this conclusion.

First, if the demand for a jazz club in Monroe would already have one or two such clubs, but the fact that the closet club is 65 miles away. Even if the statistically reliable, this survey suggest a lack of interest among Monroe residents have s strong interested in the C Note jazz club and the club will enjoy the local market all to itself .Meanwhile, the author fails to provide evidence to support the assumption that the vast majority of festival attendees are Monroe residents, moreover, the applicant provident no evidence that consist of people attended last summer jazz festival, people perhaps the vast majority of festival attendants are out of town, since the applicant was no adequate responded to this concern, the author claim the jazz report is reliable, the trend in last year might be different from all the other years, or perhaps club would be profitable is unconvincing.

Secondly, it is true the 7p.m. jazz radio is the highest rated local program, but then ,the highest rated local radio program is almost invariably whatever goes in 7p.m. slot .how many radio stations does Monroe have ? What competition does the jazz show face? The author provides no evidence that radio listeners would be interested in going out to hear live jazz, even if the program attract the local people, perhaps this trend in several months will be change. Nor does the mere fact that several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe lead insignificant support to the author claim that a jazz club in Monroe would be a profitable venture. It is entirely possible that these musician perform elsewhere, perhaps musicians like the low price of house, friendly neighbor and the environment in Monroe.

Finally, a nationwide study showing that the typical jazz fan spends $100.00 year on jazz entertainment, however, the statistically might be not credible if Monroe residents are also willing to spend such money on jazz activities, the applicant provides no credible evidence in this case. This ,in turn gives rise to the question, let us assume that Monroe jazz club lovers will spend $100.00  on entertainment. How much of that will be spend in club?

In sum, this argument is unpersuasive, to bolster, the author must provide cleaner evidence that Monroe residents would patronize the C-Note on regular. Such evidence might include the following: statistics showing that a significant number of Monroe residents interested the jazz club, fans of jazz in Monroe would hear the radio program and assurance well-known jazz musicians they would play at C-Note if it is possibility.

taoava

感谢,

enkyklios

In this argument the author concludes that opening a jazz club in Monroe will be a profitable venture.

taoava

句子上怎么联系,问下各位大仙,我这个水平,句式怎么加强