托福作文求批改贴

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不知道怎么加入写作大本营。。。先发一个贴

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10.25  独立写作

The  environmental  issue  is  too  complex  to  be  handled  by  the  individual.  Do  you  agree  or  disagree?


Nowadays, the environmental problem has already caused a lot of disaster such as the severest floods that happened in Pakistan in 2012 and the Extrem-Wetter in den USA. And for all the disaster, an increasing number of people have paid attention to the environmental issue. In my opinion everyone should take part in solving the environmental problem.

To began with, the problem will influence everyone who lived in the earth. So it is everyone’s obligation to handle the problem. The problem of the environment impact all over the world no matter you are living in the urban or the rural, in the Southern hemisphere or the North hemisphere. Since it might change every people in the earth, we should face the problem together instead of just pass the buck to the government or the environment organization.

Then it will be hard for government to settle the matter if the citizens don’t participate in it. Imaging the picture that the government invest a lot of money in improving the warm effect while the inhabitant open the air-conditioner all day long, and drive their own car all the same, will the environment improved ? the answers is obviously no. We can’t count on a few part of people’s effect balance out the problem that all the people caused together. We should apportion the duty to everyone, the strive you do can also encourage the people that related to you.

Last but not least your behavior that you do to make effect on the environment can influence the surrounding you. It can bring more people to take part in the army of fight the problem. For example, the company that your neighbor worked in is only one street away from yours. You can just drive your neighbor to his company so that less fuel can be used. This movement also can affect your neighbor, the next time he might do the same to the other people who is going on his way. And the behavior you do well be spread.

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that weather it is everyone’s duty to face the environment problem together, who still wonders if the possibility that the government can undo the negative effects of the environment without the participate of citizens , who still questions the power of our effects of improve the environment , this essay is my answer.

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10-25 TPO20 综合写作

Forest fires is a part of natural, they usually burn themselves out and the forest can recover from the fire soon. Usually people just leave it alone, but things changed after the forest fires in Yellowstone which happened in 1988. Some people thought we should leave the forest fire to the natural while the others hold the opinion that it should be extinguished by the government. In the essay thought the fire will do a large harm to the trees, vegetation and animals. It also brings a negative effect to the tourist attraction. At the same time, the professor held the opposite idea.

First, the fires will benefit the vegetation instead of destroy it. After the fire the species of the vegetation become more various than before. The forest fire will burn the vegetation that can’t grow anymore and that will give an opportunity to the smaller plant which need more place to grow. For example, a kind of plant that from German like the environment which is hot, this kind of plant was flourishing after the fire.

Second, the fire also did a favor to the animals. Thanks to the bloom of the small plants, it created a perfect habitat for the small animals. It also made a lot of food of the animals which living in the national park. The

Thirdly, when it comes to the tourism of the park, the essay said that it will reduce the attraction of the park. But, in fact, the survey said that the number of the people who visited the Yellowstone didn’t subtract at all. So the forest fire almost had no effect on the attraction of the tourism, weather the Yellowstone had the forest fire or not, the people love it all the same.

For all the reasons above the professor believed that the forest should be leave alone instead of be put out by the orginazation..

krystalgo

已修改完，一起加油~

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krystalgo 发表于 2013-10-26 22:36
已修改完，一起加油~

谢谢~不过有一个问题。。。。。。。改善温室效应应该怎么改？

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krystalgo 发表于 2013-10-26 22:36
已修改完，一起加油~

没有谓语的那句囧了，我拿了人家的好句。。。结果后面半句貌似不太搭，就直接删除了。。。没有发现谓语这个问题。。。。。

krystalgo

用户名已被注册 发表于 2013-10-27 00:05
谢谢~不过有一个问题。。。。。。。改善温室效应应该怎么改？

Alleviate greenhouse effect,这个用法应该比较正确，因为我原来见过有的句子，使用alleviate来表示减缓温室效应~~~improve的话感觉好像没见过这么用~

krystalgo

用户名已被注册 发表于 2013-10-27 00:08
没有谓语的那句囧了，我拿了人家的好句。。。结果后面半句貌似不太搭，就直接删除了。。。没有发现谓语这 ...

没事哈~~~加油加油~