【求助】两个曼哈顿中句子的狗血改法

过熊

正在看Manhattan中。。第十章，odds & ends，有两个例子中的错误句子我想到另外的改法，不能确定是否正确，搜索无果，前来求教各位大神，盼解答，不胜感激！！

【Manhattan原例】

WRONG: The term “Eureka”, meaning “I have found it “in ancient Greek and famously uttered by Archimedes, AND ever since then, scientists have exclaimed the same word upon making important discoveries.

RIGHT: The term “Eureka”, meaning “I have found it “in ancient Greek， WAS and famously uttered by Archimedes, AND ever since then, scientists have exclaimed the same word upon making important discoveries.

一点问题都没有，我想问：

【如果我这样改，是否是正确的独立主格形式】

The term “Eureka”, （删掉逗号）meaning “I have found it “in ancient Greek and famously uttered by Archimedes, AND（删掉AND） ever since then, scientists have exclaimed the same word upon making important discoveries.

【另外一个例子】

WRONG：Citizens of many countries are expressing concern about the environmental damage caused by the widespread release of greenhouse gases may be impossible to reverse.

RIGHT: Citizens of many countries are expressing concern THAT about the environmental damage caused by the widespread release of greenhouse gases may be impossible to reverse.

OR:

Citizens of many countries are expressing concern about the environmental damage caused by the widespread release of greenhouse gases,(加上个逗号) DAMAGE THAT may be impossible to reverse.

【如果我这么改：】

The widespread release of greenhouse gases may be impossible to reverse, citizens of many countries expressing concern about the environmental damage caused by it.

是否是正确的独立主格？it的指代有没有pronoun ambiguity的嫌疑？

求各位大神赐教，再次感谢！

Ps.明显的曼哈顿给出的改法更好，我只是想求证一下我的狗血改法是否正确（过于发散思维真糟糕= =）
pps.为啥帖子类型里木有【求助】呢

tiffany1224

我来跟露珠讨论一下吧~
首先你的第一句，and 前面的句子是个fragment， 没有verb
第二句，我认为不能这么改成独立主格，独立主格 表示一种伴随，根据句子的意思，citizens of many countries expressing concern about the environmental damage caused by it.语意上没有伴随，distort了原句的意思。另外OG中也有代词指代不明确的例子，GMAT是可以容许这种ambiguity的，当然得看有多严重，要是真的会混淆指代的名词就不行了，常识上可以分清楚应该是可以容许的。(这个知识点我是看美国的大牛RON讲的)

过熊

tiffany1224 发表于 2013-9-22 15:32
我来跟露珠讨论一下吧~
首先你的第一句，and 前面的句子是个fragment， 没有verb
第二句，我认为不能这么改 ...

啊啊啊终于有人回复了！先谢谢你！
第一句我是想把那个大写的AND去掉的，在word里编辑完黏贴过来变样了囧。。。
所以我改完了是这样的：The term “Eureka” meaning “I have found it “in ancient Greek and famously uttered by Archimedes, ever since then, scientists have exclaimed the same word upon making important discoveries.    这样说得通么？
第二句你说的伴随，还真有道理，想明白了！感谢！
另，哪里有详细的关于独立主格的讲解呢？曼哈顿里讲得很简单。。求指点~ ：）

tiffany1224

过熊 发表于 2013-9-23 23:27
啊啊啊终于有人回复了！先谢谢你！
第一句我是想把那个大写的AND去掉的，在word里编辑完黏贴过来变样了囧 ...

也说不通，简化一下就是，The term “Eureka'.....,ever since then, scientists.....成分之间没有关系，LZ不要被复杂的修饰迷惑，要简化到句子主干和成分。独立主格prep 2008语法笔记貌似有讲

过熊

tiffany1224 发表于 2013-9-23 23:58
也说不通，简化一下就是，The term “Eureka'.....,ever since then, scientists.....成分之间没有关系，L ...

好嘞，看来还只摸到皮毛，还得好好研究，谢谢哦！！

萌萌爱学习

今天也看到这句话，Citizens of many countries are expressing concern about the environmental damage caused by the widespread release of greenhouse gases,(加上个逗号) DAMAGE THAT may be impossible to reverse.  这里“，damage that”为啥是对的？ 因为是强调句吗? 曼哈顿里面不是说不能允许run-on sentence吗？求指点！