倾海的作文贴

倾海比目鱼

21th 独立 麻烦哪个好心的nn帮我改改啊
Parents should help their children build a healthy life style.A topic related to above issue is discussed by the public and authorities.Since this issue is caught such attention,some people claims that parents should pay more energy and time to accompany with their children and help them improve their studies and learn  more knowledge about their lectures.However,according to my experience,the more of importance for parents to focus is that children should learn to play the healthy games and practice some appropriate sports,and I will utilize three dimensions to support my statement.
First of all,when playing intellectual games,such as chess,parents could instruct their child how to implement different rules to win the game and make their child’reflect capability progressive.Meanwile,play intellectual games also can broaden the children’s horizon and learn the information of historical background about the games.Oppositely,studying at classroom,or just practicing sth about the academic events is relatively narrow the bonds of their capability to learn sth new.and also inhibiting their creativity and innovation,since sports and games are crucial method to exercise their ability to create sth during their pratice.
Moreover,having a strengthen body is extremely important for any kids to grow healthy,for this purpose,the most direct method is that parents should encourage and leading their children to join in some sports such as basketball.football and so forth.playing a team sports not only help children to build their body strength,but also provide children with great opportunities to make new friends and build a strong team spirit.On the other hand,children can learn the necessary knowledge in their classroom and field trips.
Admitedly,acquiring enough knowledge is very important for children’s future development and their parents also pay crucial attention to focus the children’study situation,but how to make children’development more health and more well-rounded,games and sports is two indispensible factors for children,expecially in their space time.Therefore,in the children’space,the games and sports that parents should help their children to play are playing a absolutely role.
To sum up,considering above factors,I would like emphasize that parents help their children to study academic issue is a good way for the children but not the best way,Thinking the whole influencing factors to come up with a plan is a primary direction for the parents.  

倾海比目鱼

tpo 15 综合
The reading passage concentrates on the subject of ways are used to control the cane toad's populartion.However,the professor in the lecture claims that the efficiency of such ways is limited and even hurted other species ,and then utilizes three specific dimensions to support her statement.
First of all,although the reading passage suggests that the national fence will work to block the advance of the toads,the professor argue that the result of such method is limiting ,because young toads can be carried to other place by water due to some rivers nearby the fence.
Moreover,dispite the statement of the reading that the toads could be captured and destroyed by volunteers.The professor considers that some untrain volunteers will kill other native species since some young toads or eggs are difficult to distinguish with other no harm species,so that will also impact other species'gowth .
Lastly,to counter the statement that a disease-causing virus is developed to control the cane toad populations.the professor mentions that such virus is no testified safty and may be badly affected the whold ecosystem.
In conclusion,the professor clearly identified the weak links in the reading passage and impressively reveal that the the reading passagy is incurately.

Mint静默

我的写完啦~

http://forum.chasedream.com/thread-870505-5-1.html
第50楼，等你的作文咯

whom123

There are different methods to relax our mind and enjoy a harmonious life,such as watching a movie , reading a book or practicing physical exercise. It is as（多余删去） a heated topic that which relax method is better to be discussed  in the public and authorities（不当，改为among the authorities更好）.As it is caught such antention,some people claim that watching a movie or reading a book is better than practicing physical exercise.However,as my experience（改为as for me恰当些）,doing hysical exercise is better than watching movie or reading a book,and I will take two dimensions to support my perspective.
第一段属于比较典型的开头，结构没什么问题。但是表达上有些太冗余，很多信息没必要重复说，试着精炼一点表达会更好。

First of all,when doing physical exercise such as playing badminton,jogging,playing soccer,our metal（笔误吧） pressure will be explicitly alleviated and refresh our mind（此句存在语病。our mental pressure refresh our mind？用连词时多小心。）.as a scientific research shows on the internet,more aerobic exercise and more oxygen input will enhance our body’s patience and make our more happy to some degree.Meanwhile,doing exercise will make our mind and distract our concentration from worried（from后不应该接动名词么） about works or assagments to other things such as how to win the game or enjoying others’ practical gestures.Oppositely（笔误吧）, even though watching a delicate movie or reading a useful book will attrack us in its wonderful and magic world, the efficiency about the relax is a temporary effects and never far-reaching improves our worried mind and deeply solve our heavy pressure（这句读不懂）. Nevertheless,doing physical exercise not only makes our body strength and shapes our body that makes someone more confident for herself or himself,but it（多余） also improves our body’s metabolism and build a long-run healthy environment.
很多地方表达不太准确，望注意。还有就是例子不够，论述居多。小错有点多，希望实际考时多加注意。

In addition,unlike reading a book or watching a movie alone,when playing in a football team,it need allocate task（没听说过这个说法，建议用team work） and duty to everyone team member and cooperate smoothly to gain the game（表达？）,which（这个which是指谁？有点不清楚啊） also helps us to develop our team spirit and coordinate capability for our future life. Moreover,it also provide a credital and precious opportunity for us to broaden our friend cycle when playing in a football team or basketball team.it is easily for us to face a lot people who’s（这都是神马= = of whom） favorite sports are same to us,which obviously is a great channel to make our life more wonderful.


To sum up,considering above factors, watching a movie or reading a book is a good way to relax our mind,but not a best way actually,and focusing one a long-term way to build a heather body is（笔误吧） a better way .

总体来讲，很多表达都不是很准确，而且小错太多，偶尔没事但是太多会给评分者留下不好印象的。          除此之外，例子还希望丰满一些，光是论述说服力略显不足。
加油！

倾海比目鱼

whom123 发表于 2013-8-24 19:48
There are different methods to relax our mind and enjoy a harmonious life,such as watching a movie , ...

谢谢 真的很多错误。很惭愧 快要考试了，请问例子怎么收集啊，有什么渠道吗？

倾海比目鱼

23th 独立
When starting to prepare a academic presentation,we have our schedule of preparation process prerpectively.the heated topic related to above issue is discussed among our classmates.Since it is caught such attention,some classmates claim that we could start to prepare when having a great idea about the project.However,according to my experience,one month is enough for us to finish the presentation,and I also provides three specific dimension to support my statement.
First of all,when we start to fulfill one project,we have a mindset to decide how to allocate timescale.for example,we should decide what time to collect information ,including taking a scientific suvey,selecting data carefully,summarizing data systematically and so forth.Therefore,for this whole process,one month time is definitely enough for our students’academic project.moreover,if made a final date, we would have more incentive and pressure to achieve our desirable outcome.every step in the schedule that have be made will require us to finish timely,so that the whole process can be fulfill smoothly.
Moreover,every project have its deadline because teachers will evaluate our capabilities to finish some tasks efficiently and reasonably.in that case we should utilize our ambitious and creative energy to start our presentation and get a perfect result.Such habit also help us to build up a systemic management method and  develop necessary skill and experience to prepare our future life but waiting the time to get a good idea have not such function.Meanwhile,Todays society with intense competition,higher efficience and time management comes higher returns and fruits.Additionaly,uder great time pressure,we can aggregate any hardness when preparing the presentation and actively inquiry our teachers and classmates,and I believe they will give us some useful and practical sugesstions.Therefore,it is a effective way to solve any difficult that we may face,and also broaden our horizons and deepen understanding about this project so that we can make such presentation more meaningful and helpful.
To sum up,considering above factors,I would like emphasize that waiting time to get a good idea is a good way to make a great presentation but it is not a best way.Thinking the whole experiencing factors to come up with a plan is the primary direction for us to prepare our academic project.

倾海比目鱼

TPO 综合
The reading passage concentrates on the subject of several factors,such as the growth of human population,agricutural activities and the use of chemical pesticdies,made the number of birds decline.However,the professor in the lecture considers that such factors actually no hurt the birds as the reading mentions and also provide three dimensions to support her statement.
First of all,although the reading passage suggests that the expansion of human populations and settlements contribute to make the size of the bird populations decrease,the professor argue that the environment of cities is better and better and also provide other places for birds to settle so that even  birds lose some natural settlements but could get those places.
Moreover,dispite the statement in the reading that the growth of agriculture lead to bird population in rural areas decline.the professor  asserts that the growth rate of agriculture is less and less,and the rural areas also provide more food for birds.
Lastly,to counter the point in the reading that the use of chemical pesticides prevent the birds'reproduction and make their population declince.the professor mentions that people in such area have noticed such bad influence and developed a wareness that utilized green pesiticides to kill only the harmful pests,meawhile,when the corps have a pesticides-resisstance,it will not harm the birds when they eat such food.
In conclusion,the professor explicitly identifies the weak links among the reading passage and reveal that the declaration claimed  in passage reading is inaccurately.

laneesherry

倾海比目鱼 发表于 2013-8-24 22:19
TPO 综合
The reading passage concentrates on the subject of several factors,such as the growth of hu ...

TPO 综合 The reading passage concentrates on the subject of several factors,such as the growth of human population,agricutural activities and the use of chemical pesticdies,made the number of birds decline.However,the professor in the lecture considers that such factors actually no hurt the birds as the reading mentions and also provide three dimensions to support her statement. First of all,although the reading passage suggests that the expansion of human populations and settlements contribute to make the size of the bird populations decrease,the professor argue that the environment of cities is better and better(教授并没有说环境越来越好，而是说城市的发展反而为鸟类提供了栖息地：it’s true that urban growth has been bad for some types of birds, but urban development actually provides better and larger habitats for other types.此处作文表述不准确。) and also provide other places for birds to settle so that even  birds lose some natural settlements but could get those places. Moreover,dispite the statement in the reading that the growth of agriculture lead to bird population in rural areas decline.the professor  asserts that the growth rate of agriculture is less and less,and the rural areas also provide more food for birds.（这里没有听出具体原因，lecture是说之所以会减少是因为引进了更加高产的作物） Lastly,to counter the point in the reading that the use of chemical pesticides prevent the birds'reproduction and make their population declince.the professor mentions that people in such area have noticed such bad influence and developed a wareness that utilized green pesiticides to kill only the harmful pests,meawhile,when the corps have a pesticides-resisstance,it will not harm the birds when they eat such food.（这里lecture一共是说了两点解决方案：1、使用毒性小的杀虫剂；2、培育抗虫害作物。同学在这里只写出了一点。） In conclusion,the professor explicitly identifies the weak links among the reading passage and reveal that the declaration claimed  in passage reading is inaccurately. 整体看来，同学的听力还需要加强，请继续加油~

Mint静默

改完了~

倾海比目鱼

27 独立
It is important to understand what happened in the past when we want to deal with some specific and current problems.A issue related to the above subject is discussed among our classmates.Since it is caught such attention,some people claims that we should just focus on the ambitious goal in the future and do not care the relative past events.According to my experience,I have to mention that the past is extremely important for us to handle the problem,and provide three specific dimensions to support my statement.
First of all,when coming to cope with the problem,the initiate step is to collect some statistics from the magazines or internet,and then analyze and summarize such statistics scientifically and logically.In this case,the statistics we collect come from the past events.For example,last year,I have a internship in a investment bank,my supervisor require me to draw a price chart about a biological stock,and I should collect a lot statistics and background information about this stock and specific industries,so beneficial on such past information that I can achieve a desirable results.
What’s more,enough staff is one of key factors for us to make our  research results more reliable and reasonable because we should quote some facts that happened in the past times to present in the public and persuade what happen in the past and the way how we look for solving the problem in that case they can be attracted and recognize our research results.
Moreover,in order to address the current problem perfectly,even the future problem,we should take a SWOT analysis method to find some disadvantage or advantage of the current situation or this issue.Therefore,there is a vital method that we should learn something from the past,analyzing what is the postive influence or what is the negative factors for us to solve the problem.In my university life,my economic teacher always ask my to collect enough information first and then utilize the SWOT analysis method to analyze in different aspects related to the economic problem.
Admitedly,it is inevitable that some tiny problem that never happen in the past can be solved by exploiting the creative way,but when facing some important problem,the past information is obviously convenient for us.
To sum up,considering above factors,i would like emphasize that overlooking the past events is not a best way and we should come up with a plan that analyze and summarize what happen in the past and then fully solve the current or future problem when we face.