07版本第27题请教，关于wordy情形

whitewoman

27. (25957-!-item-!-188;#058&002223)

When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's

Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for

female enfranchisement.

(A) When drafting the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's

Rights Convention in 1848, included in it by the author, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, was a call for

female enfranchisement.

(B) Including a call for female enfranchisement, a draft of the Declaration of Sentiments was

adopted at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848 that Elizabeth Cady Stanton

wrote.

(C) When the Declaration of Sentiments drafted by Elizabeth Cady Stanton was adopted at the

Seneca Falls Women's Convention in 1848, a call for female enfranchisement had been

included in it.

(D) A call for female enfranchisement, included in Elizabeth Cady Stanton's draft of the

Declaration of Sentiments in 1848, that was adopted by the Seneca Falls Women's Rights

Convention.

(E) When Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted at the

Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848, she included in it a call for female enfranchisement.

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正确答案为E，但是我觉得that was adopted不如adopted好，觉得有点冗余。OG13版本第8，第62题错误选项中都有noun that be done的情形，给出的解释为this sentence is wordy & awkward，而此两题正确答案都是名词+v-ed，想问下各位朋友们，这个名词+that be done用法在实际考试中可否使用，它是否会影响句子正确性，我们看到此结构时是否要先打个问号？或者说我想得太多了

谢谢

kiwifoodtown

LZ想错了。这里用从句，是因为at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848必须包含进从句来修饰Sentiments。如果用分词adopted，那么at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848就完全可以被看成状语来修饰谓语drafted ，那样句意就被改变了。

whitewoman

kiwifoodtown 发表于 2013-6-21 10:50
LZ想错了。这里用从句，是因为at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention in 1848必须包含进从句来修 ...

是因为这个原因啊。我觉得如果改成adopted，at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention感觉还是定语，除非adopted后加逗号，但in 1848貌似是状语了。总之这题目让我觉得that be done结构不一定错就是了，考试1分钟时间也考虑不到这份上。

Hliujing

LZ 要知道每道题都有每道题的重点考察，这道题选项之间差异根本不是 Declaration of Sentiments that was adopted  VS Declaration of Sentiments adopted  所以你这时候是不用考虑这个点的。

kiwifoodtown

whitewoman 发表于 2013-6-21 11:30
是因为这个原因啊。我觉得如果改成adopted，at the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Convention感觉还是定语 ...

很多结构本身没有错，但如果放在句子里就不一定正确了，毕竟结构为句子服务，这才是宗旨。

whitewoman

Hliujing 发表于 2013-6-21 12:05
LZ 要知道每道题都有每道题的重点考察，这道题选项之间差异根本不是 Declaration of Sentiments that was a ...

了解，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，，