5.18考托，劳驾各位大神批改下我的作文，求狠批求喷！！！！

wangmenghan123

刚发的模版放到WORD 改改居然还有错别字！！！！单词拼写很重要  
The reading passage explores the issue of and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, the professor contends that, which contradicts with the reading's standpoint. Three specific evidences are displayed in the passage to demonstrate the professor's opinion.
First of all, concerning the author's claim that, the professor defends his opinion by raising the issue that

Secondly, the reading also points out that, the professor disprove this claim by stating that

Finally, the lecturer cracks the issue that by claiming that

In conclusion, the lecturer exploits several flaws in the reading material and powerfully concludes that the central argument of the article is incorrect.

wangmenghan123

发现把帖子当做自己的练习本和总结本挺不错的。。
下面是独立写作一篇~~~

存在问题： 速度问题  打字和思路一定要快  必须留出2分钟检查拼写错误，否则死的很惨。。。。
          易错单词  public responsibility exploit money preserve solve facilities irreversible species contribute   替换的低级词汇  important crucial essential      enhance improve benefit
                             contribute to result in  lead to  appeal        according to =in accordance with



The protection of the wild animals and wilderness areas has been a heated topic to the public since it was raised up. Although the conventional view often suggests that it is the responsibility of the government to protect the wild animals from extinction and preserve the wilderness areas from being exploited for other commercial use, after comprehensively thinking, I still hold my standpoint that it is too naive for the government to spend plenty of money and energy protecting the wild animals and the wilderness areas for the next generation. Three points are displayed in the passage to demonstrate the soundness of my argument.

First of all,as we know, there are a lot of other urgent problems which need to be solved immediately such as the terrible human living conditions in the remote and undeveloped places in the country, the educational facilities for the children are still in short and so on. Obviously, it is unwise for the government to pour millions of dollars to build the natural habits for the wild animals considering these homeless people with no apartment to live in or to prevent the wilderness areas from putting into use to offer accommodation to the tourists. In this case, pouring these money into the educational business instead of protecting the wild animals will benefit the future generation more.

Admittedly, it is undeniable that the wild animals and wilderness areas have essential effect on the environment and the future development of one country, however, under many conditions, the protection of the wild animals and wilderness areas is beyond the power of the whole human beings, let alone the government. It is the natural selection process for some extinction of the wild animals because their living environment don't exist or the loss of the food chain. It is the balance of the environment, which cannot or at least hardly can be changed by the human force and we can't gain anything from the protection of wild animals and wilderness areas but instead the other way around. To be specific, we can't save the dinosaurs from extinction which is an irreversible process.

What's more,since human beings tend to choose the species they prefer or found to be adorable, not the wild animals who contribute the most to the balance of the environment, these measures taken by the government might not reach the original goal to benefit the future generation. For example, government will choose the panda to protect because they are cute and it can attract a lot of tourists by putting them into the zoos.

According to the specific evidences displayed in the passage, we can convincingly conclude that it is not crucial for government to protect wild animals and wilderness areas for the future generation because the task is too tough and complex to accomplish and may lead to dreadful consequences and put themselves into trouble.

wangmenghan123

The reading passage explores the issue that the wood companies don't need to get an eco-certification to attract more customers and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, the professor contends that it can benefit the wood companies in America to gain a eco-certification, which clearly contradicts the author's standpoint. Three points are displayed in the lecture to support his view.

First of all, concerning the first point made in the passage that the American customers don't trust the content of the advertisement due to the excessive claims in general, the lecturer defends his opinion by stating that not all the information provided in the advertisement are treated as the same. Customers in America often find the certification from an independent consumer organization extremely trustworthy. Therefore, it is worth a try for these wood companies to attract more customers and expand the market share.

Moreover, although the price of the woods will be higher just as what the reading material indicates, the factors that determine whether the customer will purchase one product aren't narrowing to the price. Since it won't cost that much to obtain a certification, the wood price will increase nearly five percent, which the customer can accept as a small price to buy eco-certified product because the Americans are increasingly convinced by the value of protecting the environment.

Finally, the professor raises the issue that it is not the foreign market but the foreign competitors that the local woods companies need to worry about, which disproves the statement of the reading that it wouldn't make any sense getting a certificate because their market are mainly on local. These wood companies should catch the pace of the world, avoiding the happening of that situation--the eco-concerned American customers are attracted by the products from foreign countries and the foreign competitors crowd into the local market and take the share of the cake.

In conclusion, the lecturer exploits several weaknesses in the reading material and powerfully demonstrates that the central supporting ideas of it are incorrect.

wangmenghan123

易错单词  foreign  foreign foreign foreign foreign      several several several several several several several several several foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign foreign   be worth doing   it is worth a try   a must 一般用于口语中   trustworthy=dependable

wangmenghan123

The issue that whether young people should make their own choices without the guidence of the parents has been a heated topic since it was raised up. Others may say the realtionships between the parents and their children are durable and never changed since the first human being exists in the world and today young people also turn to their parents for help and advices when there are big decisions to make. Neverthelss, as far as I am concerned, young people today are more indepedent and they tend to make their own decision and live in the ways follow their heart. Specific points are displayed to further decision of my viewpoints.

First of all, as the modern society are more convinced of the value of education for the youngth, thousands of colloge school are build to give almost everyone the equal access to the knowledge. We don't depend on the experience from the parents because we already are well-prepared for the challenges of the life and are tough and wise enough to make the decision all by ourselves through gaining essential lessons and life wisdom from our teachers, who experienced the same thing as our parents and even more professional when solving certain problems than our parents.For me, when I am struggling about which major to choose in college, I will consult the related professor, who is an expert in this field instead of asking my parents.

What's more, the development of the Internet technology and the popularity of the computer also contribute to the less dependable of the parents when their young children are making decisions. There are tons of information undating on the Internet and everyone have the access to learn from that and pick up the useful information.When my parents were young, they may ask my grandparents about which company to choose when they recieve offers. However, when it's my turn, I, as a representive of this generation will search all the information about the target companies, list all the pros and cons,comprehensively considering all the factor, turn to parents, friends and teachers for advice and then make my own decision.

Finally, as the wide-spreaded of the democracy, people are more indepedent and consider making own decisions is the basic rights of a citizen even the parents can't deprive the sarced right one born with. The freedom to choose is the essential value of the American society and giving their children enough space to decide their future and life pattern is a respect to them. The story of Romeo and Juliet is very rare today because everyone has the right to choose who they fall in love with and who they want to spend the whole life with.

In accordance to the three specific evidence displayed in the passage, we can convincingly conclude that young people today are better able to make decision in their life due to a more democratic society, the rapid development of the modern technology and the more opportunities to obtain further education.

wangmenghan123

The reading passage explores the issue of the reliability of the memoir of the Chevalier and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, she contends that the content of the memoir is pretty reliable. Specific points are displayed in the lecture to defend her standpoint.

First of all, altough the author of the article suggests that the Chevalier isn't not as wealthy as he mentioned in the menoir when living in Switz due to the evidence that he borrowed considerable amount of money from a friend, the lecturer disprove it powerfully. She claim that borrowing money from others doesn't necessarily means the poorness of Chevalier, since he spend huge money on parties and gambling, it needs time to change the properties into the actual cash thus it is pretty reasonable to borrow money from friends before the arrive of the actual money.

Secondly, concerning the point made in the article that a man can't remeber all the details of a conversation after so many years, the professor mentions that Chevalier has the habit to wrote the meaingful and exciting things such as the conversation with a celebrity down exactly. And probably he used the dairy book to remind him every details in the process of writing the memoir.

Finally, despite the reading casts doubt on that by using a piece of metal instead of bribing the jailers to escape from the prison caused Chevalier had influenced friends on politics, he professor dispute the hypothesis by pointing out that there are other people in jail, who has even more friend working in politics, who didn't get themselves out of the prison. What also worth mentioning is that proofs about the room Chevalier stayed had been repaired after the date Chevalier escaped, which serves a powerful explanation of the way he escaped from the prison.

Concluding from all three aspects in the passage, the professor powerfully demonstrate that incorrectness of the conclusion made in the reading passage

wangmenghan123

The issue that whether young people should make their own choices without the guidence of the parents has been a heated topic since it was raised up. Others may say the realtionships between the parents and their children are durable and never changed since the first human being exists in the world and today young people also turn to their parents for help and advices when there are big decisions to make. Neverthelss, as far as I am concerned, young people today are more indepedent and they tend to make their own decision and live in the ways follow their heart. Specific points are displayed to further decision of my viewpoints.

First of all, as the modern society are more convinced of the value of education for the youngth, thousands of colloge school are build to give almost everyone the equal access to the knowledge. We don't depend on the experience from the parents because we already are well-prepared for the challenges of the life and are tough and wise enough to make the decision all by ourselves through gaining essential lessons and life wisdom from our teachers, who experienced the same thing as our parents and even more professional when solving certain problems than our parents.For me, when I am struggling about which major to choose in college, I will consult the related professor, who is an expert in this field instead of asking my parents.

What's more, the development of the Internet technology and the popularity of the computer also contribute to the less dependable of the parents when their young children are making decisions. There are tons of information undating on the Internet and everyone have the access to learn from that and pick up the useful information.When my parents were young, they may ask my grandparents about which company to choose when they recieve offers. However, when it's my turn, I, as a representive of this generation will search all the information about the target companies, list all the pros and cons,comprehensively considering all the factor, turn to parents, friends and teachers for advice and then make my own decision.

Finally, as the wide-spreaded of the democracy, people are more indepedent and consider making own decisions is the basic rights of a citizen even the parents can't deprive the sarced right one born with. The freedom to choose is the essential value of the American society and giving their children enough space to decide their future and life pattern is a respect to them. The story of Romeo and Juliet is very rare today because everyone has the right to choose who they fall in love with and who they want to spend the whole life with.

In accordance to the three specific evidence displayed in the passage, we can convincingly conclude that young people today are better able to make decision in their life due to a more democratic society, the rapid development of the modern technology and the more opportunities to obtain further education.

wangmenghan123

The issue that whether young people should make their own choices without the guidance of the parents has been controversial among the public since it had been raised up. Others may say the relationships between the parents and their children are durable and never changed since the first human being existed in the world and today young people also turn to their parents for help and advice when there are big decisions to make. Nevertheless, as far as I am concerned, young people today are more independent and they tend to make their own decisions and live in the ways following their heart. Specific points are displayed to further discussion of my viewpoints.

First of all, as people in modern society are more convinced of education's value for the young, thousands of colleges are built to give almost everyone the equal access to knowledge. We don't depend on the experience from the parents because we already are well-prepared for the challenges of the life and are tough and wise enough to make the decisions all by ourselves through gaining essential lessons and life wisdom from our teachers, who experienced the same thing as our parents and are even more professional when solving certain problems than our parents do.For me, when I am struggling about which major to choose in college, I will consult the professor, who is an expert in this field instead of asking my parents.

What's more, the development of the Internet technology and the popularity of the computer also contribute to the less dependable of the parents when their young children are making decisions. There are tons of information updating on the Internet and everyone have the access to learn from that and pick up the useful information.When my parents were young, they may ask my grandparents about which job to choose when they received many offers. However, when it's my turn, I, as a representation of this generation will search all the information about the target companies, list all the pros and cons,comprehensively consider all the factor, turn to parents, friends and teachers for advice and then make my own decisions.

wangmenghan123

The reading passage explores the issue of the reliability of the memoir of the Chevalier and the professor in the lecture deals with the same topic. Nevertheless, she contends that the contents of the memoir are pretty reliable, which clearly contradicts with the reading. Specific points are displayed in the lecture to defend her view.

First of all, although the author of the article suggests that the Chevalier is not as wealthy as he mentioned in the memoir when living in Switz due to the evidence that he borrowed a considerable amount of money from a friend, the lecturer disprove it powerfully. She claims that borrowing money from others doesn't necessarily means the poor of Chevalier, since he spent huge amounts of money on the parties and gambling, it needs time to change the properties into the actual cash thus it is pretty reasonable to borrow money from friends before the arrive of the actual money.

Secondly, concerning the point made in the article that a man can't remember all the details of a conversation after so many years, the professor mentions that Chevalier has the habit to wrote the meaningful and exciting things such as the conversation with a celebrity down exactly. And probably he used the dairy to remind him of every detail in the process of writing the memoir.

Finally, despite the reading casts doubt on that by using a piece of metal instead of bribing the jailers to escape from the prison caused Chevalier had influenced friends on politics, the lecturer cracks the issue by pointing out that there are other people in jail, who had even more friends working in politics but didn't get themselves out of the prison. What's also worth mentioning is the proof about the room Chevalier stayed had been repaired after the date Chevalier escaped, which serves a powerful explanation of the way he escaped from the prison.

wangmenghan123

It is more important for schools to fund their students' social activities than to improve students' meals.

The issue that whether it is more important for schools to fund student's activities than to improve students' meals has been a heated topic for the public and the educational experts since it has been raised. Some supporters of the social activities found it be more essential because they think the school should pay more attention about the students' well-around development than the food qualities. Nevertheless, I disagree with that opinion and think it as an opposite way. Specific supporting points in different perspectives are displayed in the passage to demonstrate my opinion.  

First of all, the meals directly determine the health of the students, which are the foundation of all their activities including the social participation and the performance of their study. When trying to figure an effective method to solve the problem, I think dealing with it from the principle and the original reason will be the perfect and helpful. If the students don't get the healthy and enough food, they won't have the energy to take part in their task and all kinds of relating events, and that's not we expect from the future generation of the whole country and the whole world. Therefore, from what was mentioned above, we can conclude that improving the meals of the students will benefit them from the basic level and make sure everything involved keep running as it supposed to be.

Moreover, the student's primary task is to focus on their study, It is more important for schools to fund their students' social activities than to improve students' meals.


Moreover, the student's primary task is to focus on their study, obtain knowledge from the teachers and the books and then be well-prepared for their future role in the society. It is undeniable that the social activities take crucial parts to build the students into the well-rounded developed brilliant young people, however, we can't ignore the fact that it is not the principle demand but the compliment task for the schools to help the students better involved in the social activities. It's more like the homework and the students can complete this task on their own to figure out the answer. What's more, the students can try to get finical assistance from the social resources such as getting money from the companies. I have the similar experience to apply finical assistance from one big company successfully by promising them to make advertisement for the the product in the school and this experience is very valuable because it improve my skills of communicating and negotiating with others in real business.

Finally, it is more practical and fair for the school to take the measures into fact. Deciding which activities to fund can be a hard thing and will cause a lot of problems such as the complaints from the students about the fairness of the evaluating process. Also, as eating is a basic needs for everybody, improving meals will benefit all the students and more easy to carry out in the school.

In accordance to the three points made in the passage, we can powerfully conclude the conclusion that it is more important for the school to improve the meals rather that their social activities.  

obtain knowledge from the teachers and the books and then be well-prepared for their future role in the society. It is undeniable that the social activities take crucial parts to build the students into the well-rounded developed brilliant young people, however, we can't ignore the fact that it is not the principle demand but the compliment task for the schools to help the students better involved in the social activities. It's more like the homework and the students can complete this task on their own to figure out the answer. What's more, the students can try to get financial assistance from the social resources such as getting money from the companies. I had the experience of applying for financial assistance from one big company successfully by promising them to make the advertisement for the product in the school and this experience is very valuable because it improve my skills of communicating and negotiating with others in real business.

Finally, it is more practical and fair for the school to take the measures into fact. Deciding which activities to fund can be a hard thing and will cause a lot of problems such as the complaints from the students about the fairness of the evaluation process. Also, as eating is a basic need for everybody, improving meals will benefit all the students and is more easy to carry out in the school.

In accordance with the three points made in the passage, we can powerfully conclude that it is more important for the school to improve the meals rather than their social activities.