sylvia报道！3.30二战求入队！！！

lihaolan

13 March [Today]
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
In today’s world, the ability to cooperate well with others is more important than before.

Some people may claim that, the spirit of cooperation is so crucial in today’s world that anyone lacks it will be out-competed by the society. Surly（surely） team spirit is an(a) favorable quality either in work or life. But, has it become more important than before? Quite on the contrary, today’s world encourages more on self-expressionism.

First and foremost, the highly diverted knowledge and skills have become to such an extent that it is highly impossible for a single individual to command all capabilities that are needed in a group. For example, a consulting group needs to make a budget proposal for a newly established educational agency overseas. Thus, they may need a lawyer to draft the contract, an analyst to count for the expenses, a translator to negotiate with the foreign representatives, an educator to provide for the advice---none of the skills are easily acquired that every one, for most of the time, has to focus on his or her own part in order to achieve a desirable result. In view of this, the corporation between team members has reduced rather than increased.（这段话的逻辑，我觉得如果个人不能掌握所有技能就更需要合作啦。我明白你的意思，因为专业化分工所以并不是很需要合作。你可以第一句开头就提出论点，不要一直到最后的。还有必须论证下专业化分工为什么不是那么重视合作了现在。）

Next, today’s world highly values individualism---partially due to the globalized culture, that the world now prefers more on individuals rather than a group(attaches more significant to individualism rather than collaboration). A mere glance on the names of the currently trendy movies may well reveal this fact: Spider Man, I am legend, Iron Man, American Captain, which all respect a single hero who save the world. （fact 后面应该是一句话，你这句是单词。）What’s more, such phenomenon can also be reflected in reality. For instance, a law firm mostly values an attorney who can win the most cases---which is usually a lonely battle---rather than one who draws strongest corporation capability.

Actually, individualism and corporation are not two opposite ends. Rather, they mutually rely on each other. In fact, a person who works compatible with his or her coworkers tends to have a stronger individual capability, since he/she will always strive for the best results using his/her wisdom. He/she is not afraid of challenging other’s opinion---something the so called “congenial person” dares not to do---if it will foster a better result. (这段没有看懂。个人主义和合作是相互依赖的。而你后面又写个人主义能发挥充分的作用。这和第一句话的关系，没有很懂。)

In the recognition above, corporation ability does not necessarily indicate one’s overall competence, so our world now values more on other more practical virtues.（最后一句话不是很好。）

提一个建议，段首将中心摆出就好了

sylviazhang

14 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
老师给学生自信比教专门知识更重要。

Some people may claim that, if a teacher just instill students with those scientific formulas or historic details, then he/she cannot be called be as a good teacher because caring for other aspects’ of a student, such as self-confidence, is also important and should be integrated. While to some extent, this opinion may sounds reasonable, but more largely, it has over simplified the real situation. According to different stages that a student is in and different personality a student may have, teachers should adopt distinctive strategies.

First, at the elementary or secondary school, which is usually a period that a student is growing, the teacher should focus more on the student’s overall development, and obviously, nurturing confidence is one of them. Because at such stages, the courses the students learn are generally standard and basic, thus their learning disparities are generally caused by individual learning habit and character, and confidence, clearly, plays an important. Researchers have shown that students who have high self-esteem reveal stronger capabilities in all aspects. Therefore, if the teacher can focus more on helping the students elevating their confidence, it will greatly benefit their growth.

While at the higher education level, generally the students have already formulated their life values and moral standards, as well as personality and self-confidence, teachers should then, pay more attention on students’ studies. Here are two reasons for this. First it is simply because there will not be much difference whether the teachers care or not the students’ self-esteem, since they have already generated a self-adjusting system that can help them face the predicaments in life. For the second, higher institutions should be a place that imparts the most glorious wisdom to the youngsters, whose academic seriousness should always be ranked as first priority, rather than some chicken-soup soul functions.

What’s more, while considering about encouraging students’ confidence, individual distinction should also be involved. If a student who is intelligent and studies diligently, while lacks certain kinds of confidence to do a public speech, then the teacher should pay more attention on improving the student’s self-confidence. While on the other side, if a student who has already got too self-centered to pay respect to teachers, then telling the student what is a proper conduct toward others should be a more urgent task.

In the recognition above, the teachers’ role varies according to time and students’ individuality, thus by stating cultivation confidence is more important than teaching knowledge is not appropriate.

yzwdan818

14 March
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
老师给学生自信比教专门知识更重要。

Some people may claim that, if a teacher just instill students with those scientific formulas or historic details, then he/she cannot be called be as a good teacher because caring for other aspects’ of a student, such as self-confidence, is also important and should be integrated. While to some extent, this opinion may sounds reasonable, but(But和while不能同时用在一个句子里) more largely, it has over simplified the real situation. According to different stages that a student is in and different personality a student may have, teachers should adopt distinctive strategies.

First,（好像一般都是firstly） at the elementary or secondary school, which is usually a period that a student is growing, the teacher should focus more on the student’s overall development, and obviously, nurturing confidence is one of them. Because at such stages, the courses the students learn are generally standard and basic, thus(thus 和because 只留一个) their learning disparities are generally caused by individual learning habit and character, and confidence, clearly, plays an important(role). Researchers have shown that students who have high self-esteem reveal stronger capabilities in all aspects. Therefore, if the teacher can focus more on helping the students elevating their confidence, it will greatly benefit their growth.

While at the higher education level, generally the students have already formulated their life values and moral standards, as well as personality and self-confidence, (这个地方最好用逗号分成两句话)teachers should then, pay more attention on students’ studies. Here are two reasons for this. First it is simply because there will not be much difference whether the teachers care or not the students’ self-esteem, since they have already generated a self-adjusting system that can help them face the predicaments in life（这个理由是不是和本段第一句话的意思有点重复？）. For the second, higher institutions should be a place that imparts（换成deliver会不会更准确些）the most glorious wisdom to the youngsters, whose academic seriousness should always be ranked as first priority, rather than some chicken-soup soul functions.

What’s more, while considering about encouraging students’ confidence, individual distinction should also be involved. If a student who is intelligent and studies diligently, while lacks（lacking） certain kinds of confidence to do a public speech, then the teacher should pay more attention on improving the student’s self-confidence. While on the other side, if a student who has already got too self-centered to pay respect to teachers, then telling the student what is a proper conduct toward others should be a more urgent task.(理由很好)

In the recognition above, the teachers’ role varies according to time and students’ individuality, thus by stating cultivation confidence is more important than teaching knowledge is not appropriate.

作者单词量不错，用了很多很好的单词。但是在句子的构造上还有一点问题，部分连词不能同时出现在一句话里，这一点要注意。另外理由和理由之间最好不要有重复部分。

sylviazhang

15 March [Today]
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents find it hard to control their children for the children are now influenced by many things outside home like television or movie.

Some people may claim that children now are less rebelling than before because what they are feeding up now are those “recreational stuff”, such as TVs and movies while compared to past, the counterparts are music and poetry. Quite on the contrary, this statement has largely ignored the influence that televisions and movies have on children, which actually more independent and hardly control than before.

First, such kinds of media offer more information to children than before. The daily news on channel informs the children of what is going on in the world, something they may not be aware of before. What’s more, movies can even play a greater role in enlarging the children’s outlook, by providing with exotic culture, profound philosophy thinking and deep-rooted characters of human nature. This point can be illustrated with the example of the movie, life of Pi, which inspires the children to broaden their mind on human being’s link with nature, with animals and with themselves. Thus, such pondering thoughts could not have occurred before, simply because there is no such chance for the children to be exposed to. And with such knowledge, children are more likely to think on their own, not by asking help from their parents.

Further, the interne also exerts a vital impact on children’s growth. In the past, if the children encounter a problem that they cannot answer or understand why, they may well turn to parents for aid. But now, they will google it on the internet. Actually such kind of answers, which are usually with explicit details and colored illustrations, can be a more favorable one than the parents’. However, internet also harbors some unpleasant features that may negatively affect the children’s growth, such as those websites containing violent and sex information. But generally, by absorbing and learning more information from the internet, children tend to be more mature than before, thereby more hardly-influencing by parents than before.’

Actually, such kind of phenomenon does not necessarily mean a bad thing. Before, parents might easily make up some wrong answers as a reply to children’s inquires. But now, such kind of solutions is not going to be feasible anymore, since the children will try to test whether it is true or not. And in terms of this, someone can say that the authority of parents has been deteriorated, which actually, is an improvement in parent-child relationship, since now it is based on a fairer ground. Therefore, the increasing influence requires a more demanding job of the parents actually, since they not only need to adjust to this new situation, but at the same time try to help their children how to discern what is helpful and positive information.

In conclusion, it is true that with the development of televisions and movies, children are harder to control now by parents because they are absorbing more information now. But it does not lead to a negative conclusion; the key lies in the parents’ attitude in how to deal with it

lihaolan

15 March [Today]
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Parents find it hard to control their children for the children are now influenced by many things outside home like television or movie.

Some people may claim that children now are less rebelling than before because what they are feeding up now are those “recreational stuff”, such as TVs and movies while compared to past, the counterparts are music and poetry.(最好说下原来为什么觉得电视可以让人没有独立性，而音乐诗歌可以。否则有点突兀) Quite on the contrary, this statement has largely ignored the influence that televisions and movies have on children, which are actually more independent and hardly（hard to be） control than before.

First, such kinds of media offer more information to children than before. The daily news on channel informs the children of what is going on in the world, something they may not be aware of before. What’s more, movies can even play a greater role in enlarging the children’s outlook, by providing with exotic culture, profound philosophy thinking and deep-rooted characters of human nature. This point can be illustrated with the example of the movie, life of Pi, which inspires the children to broaden their mind (觉得有点中式)on human being’s link with nature, with animals and with themselves（换成links between。。。是不是更好点）. Thus, such pondering thoughts could not have occurred before, simply because there is （was）no such chance for the children to be exposed to. And with such knowledge, children are more likely to think on their own, not by asking help from their parents.

Further, the interne（internet） also exerts a vital impact on children’s growth. In the past, if the children encounter a problem that they cannot answer or understand why, they may well turn to parents for aid. But now, they will google it on the internet. Actually such kind of answers, which are usually with explicit details and colored illustrations, can be a more favorable one than the parents’. （建议点题！internet让小孩有独立性）However, internet also harbors some unpleasant features that may negatively affect the children’s growth, such as those websites containing violent and sex information. But generally, by absorbing and learning more information from the internet, children tend to be more mature than before, thereby more hardly-influencing（这个合成词没有见过。。。能不能这样表示、、、）by parents than before.’

Actually, such kind of phenomenon does not necessarily mean a bad thing. Before, parents might easily make up some wrong answers as a reply to children’s inquires. But now, such kind of solutions is not going to be feasible anymore, since the children will try to test whether it is true or not. And in terms of this, someone can say that the authority of parents has been deteriorated, which actually, is an improvement in parent-child relationship, since now it is based on a fairer ground. Therefore, the increasing influence requires a more demanding job of the parents actually, since they not only need to adjust to this new situation, but at the same time try to help their children how to discern what is helpful and positive information.（这和文章中心没什么关系，文章是问小孩是不是容易控制没有涉及这好不好。。。。可以说社会意思到。。。这样的坏处。。。 put a strain on parents。。。。。总觉得有点偏了！！）

In conclusion, it is true that with the development of televisions and movies, children are harder to control now by parents because they are absorbing more information now. But it does not lead to a negative conclusion; the key lies in the parents’ attitude in how to deal with it（还是要回归中心吧。。这里让步还是觉得有点偏了）

文章用词语法都没有什么问题，插入语很精彩。就是中心还是要扣紧！

sylviazhang

16 March [Today]
Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
To truly understand world event, we should get our news from newspaper; television cannot provide enough information.

Some people may well claim that, since newspapers are tend to be more serious and more professional than television, people obviously learn more from them because they offer a more objective view toward the world events. Such claim may have some reasons, but, to a larger extent, is questionable. There are actually more virtues of television, which newspaper, on the contrary, cannot be matched to.

First and foremost, newspaper is sedentary, while television, more favorably, are motive---i.e. , they can actually show the process of the news event in front of the audience, which definitely is a more vivid means of expression. For an instance, there has been a suicide explosion occurred in the area, whereas the newspaper can just cover the issue in words, leaving the rest for the readers to imagine, the television, on the other side, can impressively, using its camera, show how panic the alerted survivals are, how dangerous and blown-off the on-site is, how sad and emotional the relatives are. In this way, the audience will get a more close-to-event perspective by watching the television news, thereby forming a more comprehensive understanding of what has happened.

Next, the promptness in time, for which television has drawn far-reaching strength than newspaper. Nevertheless the newspaper has to be printed before the day it is released, which is the way how it is regulated, deteriorate its in-time feature when compared to television. Because what has been printed on the newspaper as facts may overnight be transformed dramatically, but the television, in contrast, can always alter its accuracy in time, since the television program has always been broadcasting on TV satellite---you just need to inform the host to cut in the most up-dated information.

Finally, with the widely use of PS software, it is more readily to deceive the newspaper readers by providing with PSed illustrations on newspaper. While on the other side, television news, which are usually made up of digital clips, are harder to be artificially manipulated, thus leaving more truth in them. This point can be best confirmed by drawing this example, the turmoil happened in Tibet in 2008. While the CNN newspapers intentionally distorted these photos---by cutting the edge and changing the titles—to attack the Chinese police for battling with the civilians, the truth was that the police, at the moment, were actually trying to safeguarding the groups of people behind. (这例子会不会太敏感了？) Of course the truth finally revealed and CNN apologized for it, but temporarily the audience have been covered up by the news. Such cases tend less happened in television news because of its nature.

In conclusion, the lack of vivid expression, the limitations on time, and the readiness to be recovered make the newspaper a more vulnerable means of communication while compared to television. Therefore, we can actually understand more about the world events on television.

jsc405044949

我也写了好多机经作文
我现在？跟着一起改？

sylviazhang

你到那个大本营帖子下面报名，按照指示写好报名就能加入了！一起加油！

lihaolan

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
To truly understand world event, we should get our news from newspaper; television cannot provide enough information.

Some people may well claim that, since newspapers are tend to be more serious and more professional than television, people obviously learn more from them because they offer a more objective view toward the world events(since和because出现在一句可能不是很好。). Such claim may have some reasons, but, to a larger extent, is questionable. There are actually more virtues of television, which newspaper, on the contrary, cannot be matched to（直接主动cannot match to或者compete with）.

First and foremost, newspaper is sedentary, while television, more favorably, are motive（lively）---i.e. , they can actually（第一段用过actually了==，可以省略掉我有时也会顺手写） show（display觉得更好些） the process of the news event in front of the audience, which definitely is a more vivid means of expression. For an instance, there has been a suicide explosion occurred in the area, whereas the newspaper can just cover the issue in words, leaving the rest for the readers to imagine, the television, on the other side, can impressively, using its camera, show how panic the alerted（frightened） survivals are, how dangerous and blown-off（没见过这样表示==）the on-site is, how sad（despairing更好点） and emotional the relatives are. In this way, the audience will get a more close-to-event perspective by watching the television news, thereby forming a more comprehensive understanding of what has happened.

Next, the promptness in time, for which television has drawn far-reaching strength than newspaper. （这是个短语。没有谓语！！！）Nevertheless the newspaper has to be printed before the day it is released, which is the way how it is regulated, deteriorate its in-time feature when compared to television.（这句子语法好像有问题后面挂了一句。。） Because what has been printed on the newspaper as facts may overnight be transformed dramatically(overnight放句末好些), but the television, in contrast, can always alter its accuracy（修改准确？alter it 就可以） in time, since the television program has always been broadcasting on TV satellite---you just need to inform the host to cut in the most up-dated information.（最后一句语法也有点问题啊！！Because 。。。。but 。。。。since。。。真确的是。。。。because。。。句号but。。。。 since。。。。这样好些）

Finally, with the widely use of PS software, it is more readily to deceive the newspaper readers by providing with PSed（photoshop是名词的）illustrations on newspaper. While ，on the other side, television news, which are（news 是is）usually made up of digital clips, are（同上） harder to be artificially manipulated, thus leaving more truth in them. This point can be best confirmed by drawing this example, the turmoil happened in Tibet in 2008. While the CNN newspapers intentionally distorted these photos---by cutting the edge and changing the titles—to attack the Chinese police for battling with the civilians, the truth was that the police, at the moment, were actually trying to safeguarding the groups of people behind. (这例子会不会太敏感了？) Of course the truth finally revealed and CNN apologized for it, but temporarily the audience have been covered up（deceived。Cover up 丑闻。。。） by the news. Such cases tend less happened in television news because of its nature.

In conclusion, the lack of vivid expression, the limitations on time, and the readiness to be recovered （distort the truth）make the newspaper a more vulnerable means of communication while compared to television. Therefore, we can actually understand more about the world events on television.

这篇文章三个分论点，生动，及时，真实，都扣住中心，语法还是有点问题，长句的断句问题，还有不要用短语成句

sylviazhang

3.17 colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working.
Some people may well claim that, since our society is severely competitive nowadays, it is crucial for universities and colleges to offer their students some preparations on work or future career. While this view may harbor some reasons, to a larger extent, has failed to take into account some possible undesirable effects that it may bring about. Actually, it is a more favorable approach to let the students themselves to decide how to prepare for their job.

First, students know better what they need than the schools or teachers. Since everyone has his or her own problems, either a strength or a impediment, therefore it is unlikely for the universities to offer a package of satisfactory working preparations workshop. For instance, students who get high GPA but lack certain kind of capability in interpersonal skills may eager to embrace opportunities that can improve their communication and presentation skills. While on the other side, students who may not be quite excel in studies but participate in a variety of extra-curriculum activities may draw more attention to those seminars that can best highlight their advantages. Such cases are just a tiny part of the whole, there are many more other cases that can even be more particular.  In view of this, universities and college are unable to satisfy every one's needs to deliver high-quality working preparations.

What's more, such adoptions can account for a huge amount of educational resources, which should be used on academic research or elevating campus facilities otherwise. In fact, it may even arouse more serious and long-term negative influence to the universities' development, because the core strength, academic superiority, has been deteriorated greatly. The point can be illustrated by such an example: the professors of the chemistry department of the school used to spend their off-class time on doing experiments, but now, due to the new policy of working-oriented codes, they spend more time on networking with those big manufacturing companies. And what is the result? The reputation declines sharply and they even cannot attract any distinguished students.

Last but not least, the universities do not know what the markets are looking for. What the teachers and faculties are better at are teaching and researching, finding new problems and solve them. But such rules are not adapted to companies, which is operated by an entirely different jungle rules. Therefore, what the universities tend to teach their students on work may be quite useless.

In the recognition above, the distinctive cases of students, the unfairly account for resources, and the perspective gap between schools and companies, combining altogether, make it an unfavorable choice for the school to do so.