argument第41篇求批改

proheart

"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets."
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
一项为期十年的对于在骑自行车时戴头盔的作用的研究显示，10年前，所有骑车人中大约有35％报告说他们戴头盔，现在这个比例接近80％。然而另外一项调查显示在相同的十年期间，因骑车引起的事故数量增加了200％。这些结果说明骑车人因为戴着头盔而感到更安全，因而导致他们面临更大的危险。因此，为减少自行车事故中严重伤害的数量，政府应该更多地对人们加强自行车安全的教育，并提供鼓励或要求骑车人戴头盔的课程。


The author of this argument considers the fact that the number of wearing a helmet increased while the number ofbicycle-related accidents didn't decrease but increased as well, is resultedfrom the carelessness of these people who think they are safe under theprotection of the helmets so that they dare to take more risks. Therefore, thewriter suggests the government should pay more attention on teaching peopleabout bicycle safety, and less attention on revealing bicyclists to wearhelmets. But there are so many holes and assumptions in this argument that theconclusion and the suggestion of the author appear weakly and unconvincingly.

First, the argument assumes that the increasing number of bicycle - related accidents means the condition isbecoming worse nowadays than before. However, it is probably that populationhas a significant growth during the ten years and the number of bicycling has increased simultaneously, which leads to the number of bicycle-related accidents seeming enormously.  And as the development of the urbanization, the number of private cars is increasing quickly, which may also result to the increasing number of the accidents. In this matter, considering the accident ratewill make it more convincing for the author's conclusion.

Furthermore, the author has not providedthe details of these accidents to support his assumptions that it is the increasing number of using helmet that causing the increasing number ofaccidents. There is no reason to believe people will easily take more risks when they are wearing helmet, and no evidence can prove these people feel safe to wear helmet. On the contrary, actually, people who wear helmet will probably bemore careful than those do not use helmets. Additionally, how many people ofthese accidents wear a helmet? If the most of the wounded person are those whodo not wear a helmet, it can indicate that wearing a helmet will still be moresafety.

The most significant thing is that theauthor has not balanced the gain and loss: he or she should not suggest thegovernment pay less attention on encouraging bicyclists to wear helmets withoutconsidering the advantages of the helmet. Helmets can protect people when theyencounter the accidents. If the government do not encourage bicyclists wearinghelmets when they are riding, the consequence will be even terrible once theaccident occurred without the protection of wearing helmet.

In sum, this argument relies heavily on itsassumptions, perhaps too heavily. Denying any one of these assumptions will resultin a weakened or, in some case, invalid conclusion. To strengthen the argument,the author would need to not only address these assumptions above but also listmore reasonable information to warrant the conclusion.

普渡哥

人数，城市化，汽车增多。。。很多因素。

proheart

谢谢普渡哥，总是感觉思想匮乏

竹林中人

文章写的还不错，如果能形成一个逻辑链，一步步让步质疑推理，也许效果会更好