argument5（Balmer and Seaville） 求修改

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In this argument, the author comes to a conclusion that the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds to the half rented by the island’s moped rental companies. To justify this claim, the author claims that as a popular form of transportation, numbers of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians exist. The author also cites that the same recommendation put on the neighboring island of Seaville enforced 50 percent limits on moped rentals. However, a series of questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result.

First and foremost, the author unfairly bases the conclusion above on the assumption that it is the mopeds’ responsibilities that caused the accident without showing any evidence, such as, the time and the place’s terrestrial even the weather that day . So who is the inducer of the accident would need to be answered. If it is mopeds that count, the recommendation is likely to assuage the high-number of accidents. But it is entirely possible that causes of the accidents were pedestrians’ unawareness, the lack of traffic lights, the bad weather or the irrational design of the roads. Thus in this way, unless the responders of the accidents are assured can we decide whether it is helpful to execute the recommendation.

In addition, the author has to illustrate us whether the mopeds that caused accidents are all belong to the islands’ rental companies. If it were not all from the islands’ rental companies, the conclusion would be weakened. Perhaps some fanatic personal moped owners ignore the traffic rule frequently and thus result in the accidents. The author should make a detailed survey about the accidental mopeds and make sure whether they belong to rental companies or not.

Furthermore, even assuming that the mopeds are all belong to rental companies, the recommendation may not lead to the predicted result and may even bring some side effects. Because mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, reduce them may to some extent bring about the decrease of the tourists. Another is without mopeds, residents here will be in a mess not knowing how to get to the destinations, which may increase the rate of accident happening.

Finally, the author make an falsely analogy between Balmer and Seaville in assuming that all factors in Bamler are the same with that in Seaville and during the year, all things remain unchanged. Although the result achieved in Seaville was satisfied, it may not appropriate for Balmer. The author has to consider overall factors, for example, the density of population and the quantity of mopeds , the condition of roads of the two districts, the policy of traffic distinct before making firm conclusion.

To sum up, before making any conclusion, the recommend departure has to consider all causes and evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of the recommendation. Many questions would also need to be answered before carrying out the recommendation.

普渡哥

Finally, the author make an falsely analogy between Balmer and Seaville in assuming that all factors in Bamler are the same with that in Seaville and during the year, all things remain unchanged.

make应该是makes, an 应该是a. 第二个逗号前后什么关系？