[求助]TWE109请大家帮忙批改

emma-maple

109. When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.

看看模板痕迹会不会很重啊？谢谢

It is a constant debate as to when people move to another country, whether follow the customs of the new country or keep their own customs. With respect to this issue, I prefer the former choice while rejecting the latter alternative. As the old saying goes when in Rome do as Romans do. In this article, I will elaborate my views as follows.

The most pertinent reason for my view is that you can improve your adaptability by following customs of the new areas. I always believe that adaptability is the most essential ability for a people to survive in the world. Compare with the people who keep their entrenched customs, people who follow customs of the new place have stronger adaptability. This flexibility will enable people get the ground and run in a short period of time.

The second reason that cannot be ignored is that following customs of the new country provide you more opportunities. On the one hand, you can make more friends when you break the boundary between you and the new persons around you who may become the most valuable treasures in your life. On the other hand, when you acquaint yourself with a lot of customs, you can learn about more histories of the new place and understand cultures better. Also you may win more opportunities to get a good job.

It should be admitted that keeping the traditional customs will contribute to the formation of omni cultures. However, considering the differences in different customs, communication obstacles and misunderstandings could be occurred. On the contrary, people can avoid these troubles by following the costumes of the new place. Thus make a desirable impact on efficient communications and harmonious relationships between people.

In conclusion, based on the three reasons I presented above, following customs of the new country can provide a lot of benefits to people. Therefore, I suggest that people should follow and adapt the customs of the new place as soon as possible.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-10-31 22:30:51编辑过]

guandream

以下是引用emma-maple在2004-10-31 0:33:00的发言：

109. When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.

看看模板痕迹会不会很重啊？谢谢

It is a constant debate as to when people move to another country, whether follow the customs of the new country or keep their own customs. With respect to this issue, I prefer the former choice while rejecting the latter alternative. As the old saying goes when in Rome do as Romans do. In this article, I will elaborate my views as follows.

The most pertinent reason for my view is that you can improve your adaptability by following customs of the new areas. I always believe that adaptability is the most essential ability for a people to survive in the world. Compared with the people who keep their entrenched customs, people who follow customs of the new place have stronger adaptability. This flexibility will enable people get the ground and run in a short period of time.

The second reason that cannot be ignored is that following customs of the new country provide you more opportunities. On the one hand, you can make more friends when you break the boundary between you and the new persons around you who may become the most valuable treasures in your life. On the other hand, when you acquaint yourself with a lot of customs, you can learn about more histories of the new place and understand cultures better. Also you may win more opportunities to get a good job.

It should be admitted that keeping the traditional customs will contribute to the formation of omni cultures. However, considering the differences in different customs, communication obstacles and misunderstandings could be occurred. On the contrary, people can avoid these troubles by following the costumes of the new place. Thus make a desirable impact on efficient communications and harmonious relationships between people.

In conclusion, based on the three reasons I presented above, following customs of the new country can provide a lot of benefits to people. Therefore, I suggest that people should follow and adapt the customs of the new place as soon as possible.

it is an excellent essay. "看看模板痕迹会不会很重啊？" I think this essay is petty natural even though you use a model in writing.

emma-maple

真的吗，谢谢版主鼓励。

pengstone

以下是引用emma-maple在2004-10-31 0:33:00的发言：

109. When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.

看看模板痕迹会不会很重啊？谢谢

It is a constant debate as to when people move to another country, whether follow the customs of the new country or keep their own customs（调整一下可能会使句子的重心更合理： whether people should follow the customs of the new country or keep their own customs when they move there.）. With respect to this issue, I prefer the former choice while rejecting the latter alternative. As the old saying goes when in Rome do as Romans do. In this article, I will elaborate my views as follows.

The most pertinent reason for my view is that you （尽量避免用you, your等词） can improve your adaptability by following customs of the new areas. I always believe that adaptability is the most essential ability for a people to survive in the world. Compare (compared)with the people who keep their entrenched customs, people who follow customs of the new place have stronger adaptability. This flexibility will enable people (enable... to )get the ground and run in a short period of time.

The second reason that cannot be ignored is that following customs of the new country provide you (provide sb with sth)more opportunities(什么样的opportunities, 最好明确，如不好用一两个词归纳，就换种说法，如使你的生活更丰富). On the one hand, you can make more friends when you break the boundary between you and the new persons around you who may become the most valuable treasures in your life. On the other hand, when you acquaint yourself with a lot of customs, you can learn about more histories of the new place and understand cultures better. Also you may win more opportunities to get a good job.

It should be admitted that keeping the traditional customs will contribute to the formation of omni cultures. However, considering the differences in different customs, communication obstacles and misunderstandings could be occurred. On the contrary, people can avoid these troubles by following the costumes of the new place. Thus make a desirable impact on efficient communications and harmonious relationships between people.

In conclusion, based on the three reasons I presented above, following customs of the new country can provide a lot of benefits to people. Therefore, I suggest that people should follow and adapt the customs of the new place as soon as possible.

    使用模板没有问题，但俺个人认为，有些模板句中的废话可以不用照搬

emma-maple

太感谢了！