处女作Issue 28.判断一个国家的强大是看leaders 还是welfare of its people（求批斗，尤其是思路缺陷！！！）

woshilishihong

 
各路大神有帮忙指点一两句= =9月1号就考了。。这还是第一篇...
额..争取临时抱个佛脚吧= =
求大家不要放弃我= =

    It is always a historical issue to indicate the key factors reflecting a powerful country, whereas according the statement which believes that the welfare of its people overpowers others contributing elements like achievements made by a nation's rulers, artists or scientists. For this point, my approval is qualified for realms of art and science is also an adequate contributors to the greatness of a country as well as its people's well-being.    
    Admittedly, it is widely believed that every individual has his own right to be led to a promising future with what is deserved by his national leaders and neither can one can justify a national government's activities which failed to offer its people basic welfare nor claim that a country is at its peak only by achievements made by leaders without its civilian's comfortable life. For instance, Napoleon, a famous general of France and also a great military genius, has once become a legend by defending the fruits of French Revolution and repelled several invasions of other countries, and people at that time were all stunted by his achievements. However, French civilian during Napoleon' time did not enjoy a cozy life deserved because of heavy and constant military conflicts suffer.While in ancient Rome, seldom of its national leaders are heard but what is sure that welfare of its people is secured. And conspicuously, France during Napoleon's time can not be convincingly described as great while Rome does.
    However, only its people's welfare is far from sufficient to determine a country whether prosperous or not for where achievements made by arts and science can never be ignored. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, achievements made by art and science can be sorted as psychological needs as self-esteem and self-actualization while welfare of its people is regarded as physical needs or needs for safety and security. So as what we all know that a great country should not only offer its people adequate physical needs but also, in most cases more importantly, satisfy their psychological needs. For people who lives in a country understand the sanity lying in the swirling clouds on a starry starry night, a masterpiece of Vincent, or for people who lives in a nation where many of them are interested in the pattern a shuttle functions in the realm of aerospace or how the "natural selection" works in a biological way besides the sufficiency of their daily food and basic shelters, it is easily believed that nations mentioned above are of greatness.
   In the final analysis, although physical need like welfare of a nation's people is fundamental than wonderful leaders as a whole, it pales as a factor in the judgment of a nation's greatness when encountered the achievements made by arts and science, namely the phycological need, for the latter is a superstructure of the former and has its superiority. As for the achievements made by leaders, it is not that a conclusive factor as analyzed above.

竹林中人

Admittedly, it is widely believed that every individual has his own right to be led to a promising future with what is deserved by his national leaders and neither can one can justify a national government's activities which failed to offer its people basic welfare nor claim that a country is at its peak only by achievements made by leaders without its civilian's comfortable life. 这么长的一个句子，实在难以读懂，中间有几处错误，建议不要写长句吧，写简单句写对写准确很重要

woshilishihong

Admittedly, it is widely believed that every individual has his own right to be led a promising future with needs deserved by his national leaders, and neither can one justify a national government's activities which failed to offer its people basic welfare, nor can one claim that a country is at its peak only by factors like leaders' achievements without its civilian comfortable life.

确实有很多问题，我改了改不知道现在能不能符合要求.....

啊...我担心短句子太轻浮了所以写了长句子..不过确实能力不够呐- -我会注意的!谢谢~