弱弱的我从今天开始要发奋写作文啦！

linwa小默

亲。我今天帮你改。。虽然有点晚，但也算是补偿吧  不好意思啊  一直没看见

linwa小默

8.10 独立：Some people say we should never be impolite to another person. Do you agree or disagree?

China's 5,000 years traditional culture has taught every generation that be polite is a crucial merit. These days, a increasing number of young people are less interesting in this, thus it is essential for individuals to protect and pass on it for our generations.  In my perspective, though never be impolite to anyone sounds a little absolute, we are sure to insist on this tradition for enough reasons as presented bellow.

To begin with, politeness as a traditional virtue should be inherit and carry forward. It is the main melody throughout every child's memory. When I was a little girl, my parents alway taught me how to be polite to classmates, to parents, and to the elders. I remembered in heart and brought into effect. Finally, it worked extremely sound. Everyone consider me as a well-behaved girl and spoke highly of me. At school, teachers and classmates liked me very much; at home, parents and relatives were pride of me. I really learned a lot and spent a happy childhood thanks to politeness. Thus, individuals should spare no efforts to implement this virtue.

Furthermore, always be polite is a wiser approach when dealing with some tasks than lose temper because it can solve problem peacefully and win respect. During a transaction, an unreasonable customer quarreled with my mother, the owner of a mink-cloth shop, in order to return a cloth without a convincing ground. No matter how rude the consumer was, my mother still explained the rule of returning goods patiently and politely. After two hours' negotiation, this story had a happy ending that this consumer turned out to respect my mother for her polite and sincere attitude. Unexpectedly, this customer even brought in her friends to purchase goods later. In short, the end of being impolite is undoubtedly internecine, which if done with politeness, the result might bring a surprise.

Admittedly, in reality, there may be some hateful people and things that make us blundering and irritable. However, I firmly believe that if you are polite to the world, it would be polite to you as well, just like you smile to mirror, people in the mirror will smile to you. So, why not choose a friendly way to face difficulties and problems?

In a nutshell, according the above-mentioned reasons, I reinforce my standpoint that people should never be impolite to another people.

上善若水1018

"Birds of a feather flock together"(我的人生永远学不会使用谚语 - -！), the crucial criterion when people selectfriends（ofchoosing friends） concerns same interests, common hobbies, or similar values, which ensure one to getalong with others well（这个论证怪怪的。在我看来，大部分情况下人们之所以成为朋友，是由于共同爱好等自然而然聚在一起的，而不是设定了一个什么样的标准去select）. Girls, especially, even unbosom theirselves（themselves） to each other. Therefore,I claim（believe，agree什么的都比claim要合适） that we, indeed, can （ we can indeed ）know a lot about a person through his/herfriends for several reasons as presentedbelow.


To begin with, from the superficial level, wecan know one's personal preference through the types of friends this personhas. Such as what's the person's favouritefood; which movie he/she likes most; what kind of sports he/she prefers. （第一句话说我们可以通过某个人朋友的类型了解这个人，接下来你应该说朋友的类型。或者你可以说，通过了解某人朋友喜爱的食物，电影，运动，可以推测出这个人也喜欢类似的东西）Take myself as an example,（用冒号) Ialways go to KTV with my college classmates on weekends. We know each otherquite well. During one gathering, I was occupied by some work, so I came to theKTV half an hour later. When I arrived there, unexpectedly, my buddies had already ordered my favourite potato chips and my adept songs.  I believe that no one knows my preferencebetter than my best friends do. Absolutely, everyone may have the same feelingin this case. （感觉后面这个例子跟你第一句话的论点没什么关系。你的例子是指你的朋友很了解你。而论点是如何通过你的朋友了解你。）


What's more, were(when?) you eager tounderstand one (someone) deeply, starting with his/her friends, definitely, wouldbe the best choice （it would be the best choice to start from…）. Since friends have experienced many things together, nomatter success or failure, they have seen the most realistic part of each other. Thus, friends know a person's characteristics well: indifficulties, he/she is optimistic or negative; in success, is modest orarrogant; in quarrel, ispatient or unreasonable.
(这里帮你分了下段)Besides,people can know a person from what types of friends he/she has. A type ofvolunteer friends might indicate a person loves volunteer activities and isenthusiastic; a type of band friends mightmean a person likes rock music and is somewhat rebel. My roommate, Meng meng, rich as she is, she still has many needy friends. Therefore, I consider she has a high-mindedness.


In conclusion, to know a person well from himself/herself is difficult (句式问题 it is difficult to ….), for he/she might disguise self, mightunwillingness(be unwilling) to talk about the past. However, people couldknow these things from his/her friends easily and objectively. Accordingly(accordingly倾向于“相应的”还是用therefore，thus，hence更加合适), Imaintain my view （maintain了什么要指出来，that只是修饰）that we can know a personwell from his/her friends.
作为书面语，尽量避免what’s， it’s, can’t这种缩写，要写成 what is， it is， cannot. 有些龟毛的老外很在乎这些的。
句式需要改进，感觉都是拼凑出来的单词和句子。基础薄弱了些。
另外不要为了秀词汇量而用高级词汇。感觉很突兀。就好比一个一身地摊货的卖菜大婶，手上非戴个一克拉的钻戒，你看了会觉得舒服么？
整体感觉有些跑题。题目是你是否可以通过一个人的朋友的类型来了解这个人。你全文都放在了朋友之间是如何了解彼此的。这个题目本来就比较难写。保佑考试的时候别遇到吧。

kchszy061ban

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

China's 5,000 years traditional culture has taught every generation that be polite is a crucial merit. These days, a increasing number of young people are less interesting in this, thus it is essential for individuals to protect and pass on（pass on from one to another?） it for our generations.  In my perspective, though never be impolite to anyone sounds a little absolute, we are sure to insist on this tradition for enough reasons as presented bellow.

To begin with, politeness as a traditional virtue should be inherit and carry forward. It is the main melody throughout every child's memory. When I was a little girl, my parents alway taught me how to be polite to classmates, to parents, and to the elders. I remembered in heart and brought into effect. Finally, it worked extremely sound. Everyone consider me as a well-behaved girl and spoke highly of me. At school, teachers and classmates liked me very much; at home, parents and relatives were pride of me. I really learned a lot and spent a happy childhood thanks to politeness. Thus, individuals should spare no efforts to implement this virtue.(不错，例子和论点都很好)

Furthermore, always be（其实这里感觉用being好些） polite is a wiser approach when dealing with some tasks than lose temper because it can solve problem peacefully and win respect. During a transaction, an unreasonable customer quarreled with my mother, the owner of a mink-cloth shop, in order to return a cloth without a convincing ground. No matter how rude the consumer was, my mother still explained the rule of returning goods patiently and politely. After two hours' negotiation, this story had a happy ending that this consumer turned out to respect my mother for her polite and sincere attitude. Unexpectedly, this customer even brought in her friends to purchase goods later. In short, the end of being impolite is undoubtedly internecine, which if done with politeness, the result might bring a surprise.

Admittedly, in reality, there may be some hateful people and things that make us blundering and irritable. However, I firmly believe that if you are polite to the world, it would be polite to you as well, just like you smile to mirror, people in the mirror will smile to you. So, why not choose a friendly way to face difficulties and problems（前面没有提到这一点，所以换成the world or the society, 来保持逻辑上的连贯？）?

In a nutshell, according the above-mentioned reasons, I reinforce my standpoint that people should never be impolite to another people.

不错，不错额。