K开始写作鸟~

hjl80959

蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结或模板红色为错误

You can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has

Our life is surrounded by differnet friends, and they influence us unconsciously. Therefore, reasonably, you can know a lot about a person through the types of friends this person has. And my reasons are as follows.
简短有力不错。
To begin with ,as an old saying goes“birds of a feather flock together”--people with same personalities and interests always can be friends. In other words, friends serve as a mirror to reflect how a person performsand what he/she likes in daily life. Kind-hearted individuals ,for instance ,like to anticipate in some volunteer organizations such as The Red Cross to help people in need, where they can meet people who are willing to assist in others as well. Also, every day after class, we can see students play basketball on the playground since they share the same hobby .Thus, nothing is more efficient to know a person than investigating the social network a person owns.
例子很好，很好的说明问题，且很精炼
Moreover, we can dig out more hidden characteristics if we have a complete understanding of a person’s impersonal relationship. People tend to be what their friends like most time, （这个应该不对吧，变成朋友们喜欢的人和后面的观点不太协调或许这些写比较好 People tend to justify a person from his background of family）but what we see is not always the truth. For example, do wealthy individuals only splurge on luxuries and never pay back to society? In reality, Bob, my neighbor, coming from a rich family, is devoted in charity and helping others secretly.Only talking to the workers in my social community do I realize his generosity and selflessness.
句型丰富，
Admittedly, a person’s personality is effected by other aspects ,such as parenting style ,education, social environment and so on; particularly our parents, who are the first teachers at the best learning period within our lifespan. However, sooner or later, we will grow up and cannot depend on parents any more .After entering the society, friends play a more important role since we spend much more time with them.
这算是解释了一下为什么要通过朋友也很好～
To sum up, people can be friends in terms of similar identities; it is the variety of network that helps us to know a person’s diversity. Therefore, we can know a lot about an individual through the types of friends the person has.

在总结一下，前面几点会更好。

这是一篇很好的独立写作，楼主的行云流水的文风很久没看到了，用词也很精当，很好！

如果能在扩充一下，那就完美了

不得不说文风和楼主以前写的大不相同啊，楼主是怎么有这么大的提升的？

kaddish

TPO11
The passage mentions that less reading on literature will have unfortunate effects not only on readers but also for society, but the professor casts doubt on each of the point.
To begin with, the passage says that the sharp decline on literature is a huge loss because of its contribution for intellectual stimulation; in contrast, the professor claims that other versions, such as politic essays, history books can all encourage to broaden people's imagination. In this way, the professor does not go along with this point.
Secondly, according to the professor, less time on reading does not mean culture decline. In other words, there appears more modes of learning culture, varying from watching a good movie to listening great music .Besides, these new emerging cultural activities are more accessible to individuals.
At last, the professor indicates that we should not blame on readers for their lower standards; in reality, it's the fault of writers who produce works more difficult for people to understand that force audience to lose interest on literature. That can explain why publishers are less supportive for modern writers.

kaddish

独立作文~~这篇是以前写的所以。。。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Along with the widely application of advanced science and technology in news media industry, we are exposed to plenty information from the world every day. Some people contend that knowing what happen around the world is not necessary for the reason that it does not have impact on our daily life. Nevertheless, as I see it, sooner or later, it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.
To begin with, as relationship among countries becomes more closely than any other period in the history, and this calls people for a more global insight. A typical example is the widespread of global warming .People who live in the coastland region have been effected first ,while in other places the destroying impact may not be such serious as native citizens are easily to ignore this problem. But from a authoritative science survey, in the next decade, the increasingly rising sea level caused by green gas will submerge more cities and a worldwide cooperation is in badly need. In other words ,it’s time for people in any country to fight for their benefits ,otherwise ,they will suffer the horrible consequences sooner or later.This illustration tells us that future developments relies on global realization and effort.
Moreover, learning news of various countries is a process of enriching knowledge, which may not have direct influence on your daily life ,but in the future it is of great benefit for life and career. For instance,my classmate Jack, is proficient in several subjects varying from biology ,art to sports because he read any section in the newspaper .Thus ,he can easily enlarge his social network from his wild range of knowledge since people all want to make friends with intelligent person.Also after gradation ,his versatility on information helps him get popular in the company as he can handle different types of problems. In a word, abundant knowledge is helpful not only in study but also in work
Admittedly, some of the information we received may be misleading or useless. And due to the large quantity of news, we may have to spend much time on them. However, considerable though the disadvantages of knowing what happen in the world may brings about; they cannot compete with the great merits of it.
To sum up, I agree that people should know news happening around the world since it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.

sherryzhangh

TPO11
the reading passage mentions that less young people decline of the reading on literature will have unfortunate effects not only on readers but also for society, but the professor casts doubt on each of the point.
To begin with, the passage says that the sharp decline on literature is a huge loss because of its contribution for intellectual stimulation; in contrast, the professor claims that other versions genre, such as politic essays, history books can all encourage to broad en people's horizons( 固定搭配) imagination. In this way, the professor does not go along with this point.
Secondly, according to the professor, less time on reading does not mean culture decline. In other words, there which appear more modes of learning culture, varying from watching a good movie to listening great music .Besides, these new emerging cultural activities are more accessible to individuals.
At last, the professor indicates that we should not blame on readers for their lower standards; in reality, it's the fault of writers who produce works more difficult for people to understand that force audience to lose interest on literature. That can explain why publishersyoung readers are less supportive for modern writers. ( 文中好像没有题出版商什么事儿，不确定的还是不要编吧)

sherryzhangh

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should know the events happening around the world, even if it unlikely has some influence on your daily life.
Along with the widely application of advanced science and technology in news media industry, we are exposed to plenty information from the world every day. Some people contend that knowing what happen around the world is not necessary for the reason that it does not have impact on our daily life. Nevertheless, as I see it, sooner or later, it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day. 开头不错！
To begin with, as relationship among countries becomes more closely than any other period in the history, and this calls people for a more global insight. A typical example is the widespread of global warming .People who live in the coastland region have been effected first ,while in other places the destroying impact may not be such serious as native citizens are easily to ignore this problem. But from a authoritative science survey, in the next decade, the increasingly rising sea level caused by green gas will submerge more cities，(句子太长容易产生歧义，断开用一些连词，也很好)thereforeand a worldwide cooperation is in badly need. In other words, it’s time for people in any country to fight for their benefits, otherwise, they will suffer the horrible consequences sooner or later. This illustration tells us that future developments relies on global realization and effort.
Moreover, learning news of various countries is a process of enriching knowledge, which may not have direct influence on your daily life, but in the future it is of great benefit for life and career. For instance, my classmate Jack, is proficient in several subjects varying from biology, art to sports， because he read any section in the newspaper .Thus, he can easily enlarge his social network from his wild range of knowledge since people all want to make friends with intelligent person. Also after graduation（注意拼写） ,his versatility on information helps him get popular in the company as he can handle different types of problems. In a word, abundant knowledge is helpful not only in study but also in work
admittedly, some of the information we received may be misleading or useless. And due to the large quantity of news, we may have to spend much time on them. However, considerable though the disadvantages of knowing what happen in the world may brings about; they cannot compete with the great merits of it.
To sum up, I agree that people should know news happening around the world since it will bring us benefits if we have the consciousness to get to know the news every day.

kaddish

Commercial fossil trades do bring about negative effects mentioned in the reading passage ,but ,the professor asserts that the advantages overweight the disadvantages.



To begin with,accordingto the lecture ,instead of less exposure ,private collectors make it possible that the public have more chances to see fossils;because local originations or universities can buy fossils and display frequently.In this way ,the professor does not go along with this point.



Secondly,the passage says that scientists will lose access to somefossils ,which are of crucial importance for discoveries.However, the professor also rejects the view.Before putting value on a fossil ,scientists should identify it first ,and then pass through to private collectors.In that case ,researchers do not miss out important information out there.



At last, granted ,excavation task will damage some evidence ,but comparing to the point thata larger amount of new fossils can be found ,the significance is less. What counts in science most is discovering as many as fossils used for future research ,thus people can better trace back to the past.

陈喵喵holdon

Commercial fossil trades do bring about negative effects mentioned in the reading passage ,but ,the professor asserts that the advantages overweight the disadvantages.



To begin with,accordingto the lecture ,instead of less exposure ,private collectors make it possible that the public have more chances to see fossils;because local originations or universities can buy fossils and display frequently.In this way ,the professor does not go along with this point.



Secondly,the passage says that scientists will lose access to somefossils ,which are of crucial importance for discoveries.However, the professor also rejects the view.Before putting value on a fossil ,scientists should identify it first ,and then pass through to private collectors.In that case ,researchers do not miss out important information out there.



At last, granted ,excavation task will damage some evidence ,but comparing to the point thata larger amount of new fossils can be found ,the significance is less这句感觉有点奇怪的说. What counts in science most is discovering as many as fossils used for future research ,thus people can better trace back to the past.

-- by 会员 kaddish (2012/8/15 18:05:39)

感觉lz语感好像挺好的读起来很上口,但是因此觉得有点口语化.很流畅但用词汇不够academic的感觉..
看你的还发现了几个我自己的错误= =
还有就是觉得lz用标点的功力很深厚啊,导致感觉句子的结构有点松散,还是有点口语化的感觉..

kaddish

The reading passage puts forward three ways to deal with the increasing decline of Torreya in the state of Florida, while the professor cast doubt on each of the point.

To begin with, the passage contends that reestablishing Torreya in the same location can help recover the its prosperity, because specific microclimate within in the northern part of Florida provide suitable condition for growing.in contrast, the professor asserts that large environment will change the microclimate. For example, global warming increase the local temperature and thus make many wetlands and areas used to be ideal habitats for Torreya,cooler and not favorable for living.

Secondly, according to the professor ,recollecting tress to a new environment is also not a satisfactory solution .To bolster his view ,he mentions a specie -black locus -which once transplanted to a different place .Unfortunately ,this kind of tree caused huge damage to this new area due to its fast spread ,killing many other native trees,among which some are originally endangered and face a high possibility of extinction.

At last, the professor is of the view that preserving Torreya in research centers will lead to a higher vulnerability to diseases. That’s because Torreya can be resistant only in a large and various range. However, labs are unable to offer a capacity of enough large number of trees and variety. In this way, the professor argues this research cannot ensure the survival of Torreya.

瓜瓜不瓜

The reading passage puts forward three ways to deal with the increasing decline of Torreya in the state of Florida, while the professor cast doubt on each of the point.
（开头段简单明了，挺好的，但是有一个问题，算是比较严重的是：综合写作侧重的是听力，而不是阅读。所以你这个开头的侧重点放错了，应该把professor的观点作为主句，阅读的观点作为从句。）
To begin with, the passage contends that reestablishing Torreya in the same location can help recover the its prosperity, because specific microclimate within in the northern part of Florida provide suitable condition for growing.in（In） contrast, the professor asserts that large environment will change the microclimate. For example, global warming increase the local temperature and thus make many wetlands and areas used to be ideal habitats for Torreya,cooler and not favorable for living.
（缺了一个drier和 Florida的点）
Secondly, according to the professor ,recollecting（应该是relocation吧？） tress to a new environment is also not a satisfactory solution .To bolster his view ,he mentions a specie -black locus -which once transplanted to a different place .Unfortunately ,this kind of tree caused huge damage to this new area due to its fast spread ,killing many other native trees,among which some are originally endangered and face a high possibility of extinction.（还差最后一点：老k讲了example，讲的点也全，但是professor举例子的原因是：unpredicted outcome,最关键的一点没有说，临门一脚~）

At last, the professor is of the view that preserving Torreya in research centers will lead to a higher vulnerability to diseases.（体会一下：1.导致T容易感染疾病，2.由于在实验室内T不能survive from disease，这两个观点还是有差别的，而第二个更符合我们要表达的意思） That’s because Torreya can be resistant only in a large and various range. However, labs are unable to offer a capacity of enough large number of trees and variety. In this way, the professor argues this research cannot ensure the survival of Torreya.

要是能有一个结尾就更好了，结尾1-2句，简单收尾就可以，可以参照我的，使文章看起来更完整~

总的来说，文章表达（即老k关注的模版问题不存在，你这样的表达挺好的），重点放在听力内容上哈！加油！

kaddish

The lecturer contends that forest fire not only causes damage, but also creates new opportunities for plants, animals and local economy, which is the opposite in the reading passage.
To begin with, according to the professor, vegetation actually benefit from the big fire. Certain plants are able to geminate in the ruined place where originally existed larger plants, thus contributes to the diversity of forest. For example, smaller plants can survive under open and unshaded conditions, and seed plants tend to grow in high-level wet places. Therefore, the view in the passage is refuted.
Moreover, little -sized animals who prey on smaller plants got an opportunity to multiply like rabbits. What's more, preys feeding on these predators also begin to reproduce in this forest. In that case, food chain will be strengthened, also a more diverse species are created. However, the passage asserts that the animals will suffer great loss as well.
At last, the professor claims that only a series of fires will bring negative consequences to local economy, but in fact, there never occurs  a huge disaster like the fire in1988 .Hence, tourism will not be damaged because people still come back to visit the park. In contrast, the passage maintains that local economy will suffer a lot due to a decline on tourism.