ChaseDream
搜索
12
返回列表 发新帖
楼主: 丰碑无语Yee
打印 上一主题 下一主题

作文很烂,欢迎拍砖,下定决心好好写

[复制链接]
11#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-12 22:24:17 | 只看该作者
非常感谢,很受用啦,不过开头是自己编的,我对这片文章理解的跑题了,我的水平其实很差的,现在快愁死了~~有什么好的写作建议希望快快提出啊~
12#
发表于 2012-7-13 07:23:44 | 只看该作者
TOP2 综合 7.11
The lecture claims that it is not the best way to approach certain new projects is to assemble a group of people into a team, which plays some bad roles in project. However, this claim is not in agreement with that of the reading passage, which suggests that such a group team will be benefical.

   According to the lecture, if a group of people get some success and reward, so every people will be rewarded, but some group people do not do some useful work and contribute much at all, those people who should not get this reward. However, the reading passage, by contrast, suggests that a group of people has a wider range of knowledge and skills than any single individual is likely to process. Besides, the numbers of people process greater recourses. They can work more quickly. This is directly contradicts what the passagelectureindicates.   passage的东西有点过多


   The second point of difference between the lecture and the reading passage concerns that a group people make a decision is too much slowly and waste time这个观点到底是lecture呢还是passage?. The lecture asserts that when group of members make a decision ,they should meeting or ask other people advise.  They will spend much time and have many bothers. Rather than, the reading passage believes that the group spreadsspendresponsibility for a decision to all the members and thus no single individual can be held accountable if the decision turns out to be wrong. This was another place where experience contradicted theory.


   Finally, the lecture argues that if a group of people are working, some of people who may sad or negative, they will have a bad impact on their members. However, the reading passage contends that team members who have a voice in making a decision will no doubt feel better about carrying out the work that is entailed by the decision than they might doing work that is imposed on them by others. A team’s overall results can be more far-reaching and have greater influence than what might have otherwise been possible for the person to accomplish or contribute jobs alone. 阅读东西太多了
13#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-29 23:54:56 | 只看该作者
7月29日
10.08.20NA the most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

    One day, when you push your company’s door in the future, you see the very clean desk, beautiful fresh flowers, comfortable light and pleasant mood. You get along well with your companies. I believe that you must feel very happy and have full of power to do your work all day. However, some people assert that a company should investment a large of money to improve the work skills of its employees. Although work skills are important to company, other aspects are play a cruel role in company, such as work environment, colleagues’ relationship and team work.

    Under the background of economic crisis and great competition, everyone have a good skill in the company, which also have stronger skills in their field. There is no denying that good skills will improve the company’s competition, but your environment is dirty, there are a lot of contradiction between you and your colleagues, and your leader are lazy and selfish, I feel that your company which have stronger skills will nearly bankrupt in the future. Thus it is necessary to spend money to improve skills, but the comfortable work environment and harmonious interpersonal relationship is the same important.

    Steve jobs, after taking over a nearly bankrupt Apple, designed iPods, iPhones and iPads, which hit it big across the globe and set company back on top. We can learn that a good leader is disregarded in the company and a team work. Apple has perfect skills in IT field, but it owes a good leader who is Jobs. Jobs leads his high skills’ team work become success. The employees have a good relationship and enjoy their work environment. Only be all kinds of aspects ready, the dream of company come true.
    
    However, some company invest much money to improve work skills, there is no enough money pay a decent. Employees maybe learn great skills from the company, who will turn to other’s company that can pay a decent in the future. The company spends too much money to take care of other sides. How terrible it is!

    To sum up, it is right that invest a part of money to improve work skills, but it is necessary to extra spending, for instance, corporate culture, working environment and team spirit.
14#
发表于 2012-7-30 18:45:14 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

One day, when you push your company’s door in the future, you see the very clean desk, beautiful fresh flowers, comfortable light and pleasant mood. You get along well with your companies. I believe that you must feel very happy and have full of power to do your work all day. However, some people assert that a company should investment a large of money to improve the work skills of its employees. Although work skills are important to a 或者用复数)company, other aspects are(这个要去掉) play a cruel role in company, such as work environment, colleagues’ relationship and team work.

Under the background of economic crisis and great competition, everyone
have a good skill in the company, which also have stronger skills in their professionalfield. There is no denying that good skills will improve the company’s competition, but your(这里用the就可以) environment is dirty, there are a lot of contradiction between you and your colleagues, and your leaders are lazy and selfish, I feel thatit is obvious 或者it is easy to conclude that your company which have stronger skills will nearly bankrupt in the future. Thus it is necessary to spend money to improve skills, but the comfortable work environment and harmonious interpersonal relationship is the same important.(这句放到句首可以,这个是英文写作的习惯了)

Steve jobs, after taking over a nearly bankrupt Apple, designed iPods, iPhones and iPads, which hit it big across the globe and set
company back on top. We can learnfrom this example that a good leader is disregarded in the company and a team work. Apple has perfect skills in IT field, but it (also)owes a good leader who is Jobs. Jobs leads his high skills’ team work become success. The employees have a good relationship and enjoy their work environment. Only be all kinds of aspects are ready, the dream of company comes true.

However, some compan
y invest much money to improve work skills, there is no enough money (to)pay a decent. Employees maybe learn great skills from the company, who will turn to other’s company that can pay a decent in the future. The company spends too much money to take care of other sides. How terrible it is!

To sum up, it is right that
(companies要不然这个没有主语啊,前面的it也是代词)invest a part of money to improve work skills, but it is necessary to extra spending, for instance, corporate culture, working environment and team spirit.

整体分的很清楚,其实,建议楼主开始看老美185,然后就照着他们的风格写几篇,这样好一点。文章都是学来的么!
15#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-7-31 18:46:21 | 只看该作者
7月30日
11.01.30NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy and less satisfied than people in the past.

    Don’t you find that more and more delicious food and cooking tools are enjoyed by model people? Don’t you find that model people can use many convenient communication tools to connect their emotion? Don’t you find that model people drive cars  and airplane to travel so that they will relax themselves comfortably? Under the background of the development of economic, science and technology and culture, model people’ living standard is improved so quickly. Thus people now are more happy and more satisfied than people in the past. I have a number of reasons for feeling this point and they are based on my personal experience.
    
    To begin with, in the past when you are cooking, you have to learn how to make fire for your food, it is difficult to make fire, there are a lot of choking smoke and ashes that fly everywhere. Now you can use convenient and safe tools, such as oven and gas cooker. You only need put on a button, food will ripe. Model people can enjoy their fast food with pleasant mood.
    
    Admittedly, in the past you want to travel other place, you may be complain the load is too long to go there. You must stay home and you connect with your friends is too difficult. Nowadays, there is no denying that you can go anyplace where you want to and can speak with anybody who you want to. Because you go to travel by train, bus and plane, they are very convinent. If you feel alone, you will talk you’re your friends and parents by phone and computer. I believe you will get along well with your friends. What happy and satisfied it is!

    Finally, you meet people who come from all over world, you can learn their culture and language so that help your countury develop better. They can learn from each other and take the essence and discard the dregs . Olympic games get all of country together, Athlete not only learn the high skills but also learn their advantage culture. They have the same dream in a same world and feel stronger competition and become more and more confidence. However, in the past you can not enjoy it. To sum up, people now are more happy and more satisfied than people in the past.
16#
发表于 2012-7-31 19:26:07 | 只看该作者
蓝色为意见或建议高亮为精彩绿色为总结红色为错误

Don’t you find that more and more delicious food and cooking tools are enjoyed by model people? Don’t you find that model people can use many convenient communication tools to connect their emotion? Don’t you find that model people drive cars  and airplane to travel so that they will relax themselves comfortably? Under the background of the development of economic, science and technology and culture, model people’ living standard is improved so quickly. Thus people now are more happy and more satisfied than people in the past. I have a number of reasons for feeling this point and they are based on my personal experience.

To begin with, in the past when you are cooking, you have to learn how to make fire for your food, it is difficult to make fire, there are a lot of choking smoke and ashes that fly everywhere. Now you can use convenient and safe tools, such as oven and gas cooker. You only need put on a button, food will ripe. Model people can enjoy their fast food with pleasant mood.

Admittedly, in the past you want
ed to travel toother place, you maymightbe complain the load is too long to go there. You must stay home and your connect with your friends is too difficult(或者it is difficult to connect with. Nowadays, there is no denying that you can go any place where you want to and can speak with anybody who you want to. Because you go to travel by train, bus and plane, they are very convinent. If you feel alone, you will talk withyou’re your friends and parents by phone and computer. I believe you will get along well with your friends. What happy and satisfied it is!

Finally, you meet people who come from all over world, you can learn their culture and language so that help your countury develop better. They can learn from each other and take the essence and discard the dregs .
for example Olympic games get all of countrycountries together, Athlete not only learn the high skills but also learn their advantage culture. They have the same dream in a same world and feel stronger competition and become more and more confidenceadj. However, in the past you can not enjoy it. To sum up, people now are more happy and more satisfied than people in the past.

进步许多额
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

Mark一下! 看一下! 顶楼主! 感谢分享! 快速回复:

所属分类: TOEFL / IELTS



近期活动

正在浏览此版块的会员 ()

手机版|ChaseDream|GMT+8, 2024-11-25 07:21
京公网安备11010202008513号 京ICP证101109号 京ICP备12012021号

ChaseDream 论坛

© 2003-2023 ChaseDream.com. All Rights Reserved.

返回顶部