求拍。。issue1.今天终于下定决心写了人生第一篇ISSUE.

Biancobay

字数387
时间：2.3个小时（小弟第一次写）...
题目：
As people rely more on technology to solve the problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surly deteriorate.  


提纲：
1.    Beginning.
2.    technology surly deteriorate people’s ability to think for themselves in some cases such as calculate and pose a great threat to humanity such as environmental and nuclear pollution.
3.    However, technology like frees people from perilous and troublesome work, computer does the large amount of computation, robots take the place of workers, leaving people much time to do more creative and meaningful things.
4.    Technology meliorate the quality of people’s daily lives, such and the living condition, education and medical assurance. Also, humanity has made great progress in the exploration of the unknown world, reaching an unprecedented achievement.
5.    End.

正文：
   For the technology has been involved in every aspect of daily life, the speaker claimed that it will deteriorate the ability of people to think for themselves. Actually in my point of view, I don’t agree with this statement that is in fact unilateral.
   Along with the advance of technology in recent lives, we cannot deny that people's ability to think for themselves is surely deteriorating. And the conclusion can be drew from many cases. For instance, as students rely more andmore on calculators, their counting ability is rapidly decreasing, thereby creatinga vicious cycle that they cannot do the computation without calculators. Also,the development of technology has posed a great threat to humanity. For example, the environmental pollution such as the global warming, nuclear leakand so forth make it difficult to live a good condition. Therefore,  people become the slaves of technology.
     However, it is technology that helps people free from some perilous and troublesome work. Before, people took risks to diving deep into the water or climbing high onto the mountain to seek for precious resources. But now moreand more robots take the place of the workers to do the minatory work. What’s more,   people nowadays make use of computers to dolarge amount of computations and they take advantage of production line toreplace the repeated labor. All of these make it possible for people to savetime and energy so that they could devote themselves to more creative and meaningful work and thinking.
     Additionally, the quality of people's lives has conspicuously improved because of technology. The living condition, education and medical insuranceare greatly meliorated to an inconceivable level. In addition, technology provides people with effective instruments for intellectual work. Humanity hasmade great progress in the exploration of the unknown world, the discovery of thetheory of relativity and the structure of DNA, the rapid development of thespace and network technology, help reaching an unprecedented achievement.
     Consequently,due to analysis and reasons I have discussed above, we may safely arrive to   conclude that technology admittedly leavessome problems to be desired, but the advantages far overweigh the drawbacks.And to keep pace with technology and benefit most from it, all we need is to step further, think further and make most of the technology.


修改了几遍了。400字都还差几个。。不知道怎么填充内容，例子可能也不够代表.，求大神解答怎么写长啊。。准备要自己先总结个模板来套了求大家拍、、狠拍。。。。。。

peepul

首先我不是大神： 我第一篇也是这个 逻辑很差 才写了200多词……你很好了 ！
其次是想学习一下大家都怎么写的
最后我的建议只是个人看法……冒昧打扰了！
建议1.开头可以先让步再转折
      2.把robot改成automation，毕竟automation比robot常用；medical assurance改为medical level 。
   3.结尾呼应一下开头，还能再加点字数

Biancobay

恩恩~非常感谢你的意见哈，，我在想medical level 因为后面有个level,会不会重复了呢？medical insurance怎么样？~你多久考啊。。

Biancobay

是我写的太烂了么。。肿么木有人愿意拍我。。。

peepul

我7.7号  还有十天 你真的写的很好 大家都很忙吧 可能
还可以用medical condition

Biancobay

饿=、=谢谢、、、那你马上到了啊，加油加油！！

竹林中人

这篇文章跟很多人的写法差不多，只是我觉得缺少点属于自己的东西，比如在科技对人类的好和不好的影响中，我们自己该如何处理这种关系，怎么回避不好，怎么充分利用好，这样你的档次会上去的