nirvanababy

zljdsz

In the reading passage, the writer claims that there could be three ways to protect an evergreen tree named Torreya taxifoha, which is endangered. However, the lecturer refutes the opinions in three aspects.

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the climate changes due to the global warming. 首句最好也加上表示“反对”的词，我认为As result, some places are not as cold as before and even some wetlands are dryer改为diminished. The trees cannot survive under the changed microclimate.细节上多说点，字数就上去了，像是这里听力里说了是larger area怎么怎么样，然后micro怎么样 That casts doubt on the feasibility of the reestablishment plan assumed in the reading material.

Second, the lecturer argues that Torreya taxifoha may spread quickly and kill other endangered 不是那些树本来就endanger吧，是因为Torrya使得他们快灭绝！trees in the new environment if researchers move them to the new places by citing another kind of trees which are moved to north areas. The new environment might be more suitable for the Torreya taxifoha to live as the passage indicates, but the movement also brings damages.这里听力里头说的是一个例子，并没有明确说是T树

Third, although researchers can protect the trees and conduct research on them, it is hard for researchers to keep such relative large and genetic diverse trees as Torreya taxifoha.和听力不一致，听力是说因为在research center会不够规模，所以不容易成功抵御疾病 This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.


1、字数太少了把，我用word看了有185
2、听力听的不到位，很多逻辑漏了，细节漏了，建议你多听听力吧，字数还是要多点的，220要有的
3、结尾没有。。。结尾就再强调下怎么怎么反对
4、句式语法倒是没什么问题，但你要想你20min才写了这些错误会少，那要是写到200-300，错误自然。。。，so加强内容吧

nirvanababy

In the reading passage, the writer claims that there could be three ways to protect an evergreen tree named Torreya taxifoha, which is endangered. However, the lecturer refutes the opinions in three aspects.

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the climate changes due to the global warming. 首句最好也加上表示“反对”的词，我认为As result, some places are not as cold as before and even some wetlands are dryer改为diminished. The trees cannot survive under the changed microclimate.细节上多说点，字数就上去了，像是这里听力里说了是larger area怎么怎么样，然后micro怎么样 That casts doubt on the feasibility of the reestablishment plan assumed in the reading material.

Second, the lecturer argues that Torreya taxifoha may spread quickly and kill other endangered 不是那些树本来就endanger吧，是因为Torrya使得他们快灭绝！trees in the new environment if researchers move them to the new places by citing another kind of trees which are moved to north areas. The new environment might be more suitable for the Torreya taxifoha to live as the passage indicates, but the movement also brings damages.这里听力里头说的是一个例子，并没有明确说是T树

Third, although researchers can protect the trees and conduct research on them, it is hard for researchers to keep such relative large and genetic diverse trees as Torreya taxifoha.和听力不一致，听力是说因为在research center会不够规模，所以不容易成功抵御疾病 This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.


1、字数太少了把，我用word看了有185
2、听力听的不到位，很多逻辑漏了，细节漏了，建议你多听听力吧，字数还是要多点的，220要有的
3、结尾没有。。。结尾就再强调下怎么怎么反对
4、句式语法倒是没什么问题，但你要想你20min才写了这些错误会少，那要是写到200-300，错误自然。。。，so加强内容吧

-- by 会员 zljdsz (2012/6/13 23:47:34)

第三段，听力里说了一种树造成了什么影响，所以建议不要种Torrya，所以我写的以另外一种树为例Torrya可能造成什么影响，用的是may，后面也写了以那个树为例。听力里面有说some of trees are already becoming endangered or extinct.

第四段，听力里有句话：research centers would simply not have enough capacity to keep a large and diverse population of Torrya tress. 我写的并没有和听力不一致。漏了一个点是对的。

我写之前看OG上说字数在150~225词就行了，范文也没有结尾段，所以这篇我也没写，以后还是写上吧。听力我还是要多练习的，谢谢你的建议！

kchszy061ban

蓝色建议，红色错误，高亮beautiful sentences

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the（此处特指是否必须）natural trees may be survived in few amounts if suffered from climate changes and insect infections(这样and前后一致不知会不会好点) because of their genetic diversities. On the contrary, the genetically modified trees lack of genetic variety. Therefore, they might die away in some （这个some是否可以去掉，然后under certain ）certain conditions.

Moreover, the lecturer argues that although cultivating genetically modified trees can bring economic benefits, it will cost much more than growing natural trees. For one thing, the farmers would pay more to buy the seeds of genetically modified trees. For another thing, it is cited in the contract（law是国家法律）that farmers should pay company money once they plant a genetically modified tree. As a result, considering the hinder costs, they may not get more benefits than growing unmodified trees.

Finally, the genetically modified trees may spread aggressively. They will compete with native trees for nutrient elements in the soil（建议去掉，保持并列的平衡和词义楚）, sunlight, water and spaces. Consequently, genetically modifies trees will damage native trees other than preventing them from destroy. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the professor, and the professor has completely different points.
很全面和具体，阅读和听力分配很好。

nirvanababy

蓝色建议，红色错误，高亮beautiful sentences

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the（此处特指是否必须）natural trees may be survived in few amounts if suffered from climate changes and insect infections(这样and前后一致不知会不会好点) because of their genetic diversities. On the contrary, the genetically modified trees lack of genetic variety. Therefore, they might die away in some （这个some是否可以去掉，然后under certain ）certain conditions.

Moreover, the lecturer argues that although cultivating genetically modified trees can bring economic benefits, it will cost much more than growing natural trees. For one thing, the farmers would pay more to buy the seeds of genetically modified trees. For another thing, it is cited in the contract（law是国家法律）that farmers should pay company money once they plant a genetically modified tree. As a result, considering the hinder costs, they may not get more benefits than growing unmodified trees.

Finally, the genetically modified trees may spread aggressively. They will compete with native trees for nutrient elements in the soil（建议去掉，保持并列的平衡和词义楚）, sunlight, water and spaces. Consequently, genetically modifies trees will damage native trees other than preventing them from destroy. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.

To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the professor, and the professor has completely different points.
很全面和具体，阅读和听力分配很好。

-- by 会员 kchszy061ban (2012/6/14 10:16:36)

童鞋，这篇好像应该是包子不包子帮我改，辛苦你了。你要是想互相改，要去http://forum.chasedream.com/TOEFL_Writing/thread-661450-1-1.html 占座的，每天晚上十点分组，我看到昨天的没有你哦。这篇要是你写了我还是帮你改吧，今天记得占座

听力中有：By law, you have to pay the company everytime you plant. 没有说contract.
另外谢谢你的建议！

包子不包子

In the reading passage, the writer claims that growing genetically modified trees will bring a lot of benefits. However, the lecturer refutes the opinions in three aspects.

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the natural trees may be survived survive in few amounts if suffer from climate changes and insects because of their genetic diversities. On the contrary, the genetically modified trees lack of genetic variety. Therefore, they might die away in some certain conditions.

Moreover, the lecturer argues that although cultivating genetically modified trees can bring economic benefits, it will cost much more than growing natural trees. For one thing, the farmers would pay more to buy the seeds of genetically modified trees. For another thing, it is cited in the laws that farmers should pay company money once they plant a genetically modified tree. As a result, considering the hinder costs, they may not get more benefits than growing unmodified trees.这个好像不大准确啊

Finally, the genetically modified trees may spread aggressively. They will compete with native trees for nutrient elements in the like soil, sunlight, water and spaces. Consequently, genetically modifiesd trees will damage感觉不大准确 用outcompete native trees other than preventing them from destroy. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.
damage[?dæm?d?]n1. injury or harm impairing the function or condition of a person or thing
2. loss of something desirable
3.Informal cost; expense (esp in the phrase what's the damage?)

vb1.(tr) to cause damage to
2.(intr) to suffer damage

To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the professor, and the professor has completely different points

nirvanababy

In the reading passage, the writer claims that growing genetically modified trees will bring a lot of benefits. However, the lecturer refutes the opinions in three aspects.

First of all, the lecturer asserts that the natural trees may be survived survive in few amounts if suffer from climate changes and insects because of their genetic diversities. On the contrary, the genetically modified trees lack of genetic variety. Therefore, they might die away in some certain conditions.

Moreover, the lecturer argues that although cultivating genetically modified trees can bring economic benefits, it will cost much more than growing natural trees. For one thing, the farmers would pay more to buy the seeds of genetically modified trees. For another thing, it is cited in the laws that farmers should pay company money once they plant a genetically modified tree. As a result, considering the hinder costs, they may not get more benefits than growing unmodified trees.这个好像不大准确啊

Finally, the genetically modified trees may spread aggressively. They will compete with native trees for nutrient elements in the like soil, sunlight, water and spaces. Consequently, genetically modifiesd trees will damage感觉不大准确 用outcompete native trees other than preventing them from destroy. This directly contradicts what the passage indicates.
damage[?dæm?d?]n1. injury or harm impairing the function or condition of a person or thing
2. loss of something desirable
3.Informal cost; expense (esp in the phrase what's the damage?)

vb1.(tr) to cause damage to
2.(intr) to suffer damage

To sum up, the contents narrated in the passage are totally jeopardized by the professor, and the professor has completely different points

-- by 会员 包子不包子 (2012/6/14 10:48:33)

第三段写错了，应该写profits。

And finally, genetically modified trees might actually cause even more damage to the local wild trees. 听力里面有这句话，我就直接把cause damage（n.）改写成damage（v.）了。

谢谢你的建议！

vanessa923

[6.13独立]

-- by 会员 nirvanababy (2012/6/13 17:03:18)

baby不好意思啦,最近都没怎么上来.恩恩,我还记得欠着改你的6月13独立呢.恩恩.写完了发信息哈.