argument 92 small town&big city 好没感觉的一篇啊.. 求指导求猛拍

749896499

92. "Workers in the small town of Leeville take fewer sick days than workers in the large city of Masonton, 50 miles away. Moreover, relative to population size, the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower in Leeville than in Masonton. According to the Leeville Chamber of Commerce, these facts can be attributed to the health benefits of the relatively relaxed pace of life in Leeville.

Write a response in which you discuss one or more alternative explanations that could rival the proposed explanation and explain how your explanation(s) can plausibly account for the facts presented in the argument.


提纲：
这两点并不能说明 ralaxed pace of life in Leeville 是导致这一项的原因，可能是
1.    Leeville 和 Masonton两地主要的产业结构不同，relaxed pace of life 只是表象
2.    可能是自然环境以及社会环境不同，导致健康状况不同
3.    习惯不同

Argument：

The Leeville Chamber of Commerce asserts that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville leads to the two facts that Leeville take fewer sick days, and that the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower, and falsely assumes that the relaxed pace of life is the only reason why this situation exist. However, the assertion is plausible at the first glance, close scrutiny of the argument reveals that there are many other more persuasive explanations indeed, including the structures of production, both natural and social environment, and the variance in attitude to illness.

To begin with, an alternative explanation is that the structures of production in the Leeville and Mesonton result in the differences in the aspects that this argument states, and the relaxed pace of life is just the superficial explanation. Leeville, a small town, is more likely to rely chiefly on a less industrial structure of production, such as some producing handwork products and tourism, a economical state that results in a slow pace of life. In contrast, as a large city, Masonton develop a much competitive structure of products, a city that filled with high-technology products, financial service and transformation of goods. The nature of industry decides the superficial phenomenon of pace of life, and results in fewer sick days and fewer stress-related illness.

Additionally, another possibility is that it is the both natural and social environment in Leeville and Masonton that engender the differences. The distance of 50 miles is long enough to be a different natural environment. People who lived in Leeville may share the fresh air, the clean river, and the healthy fresh vegetables because of the less industrial, while residents in Masonton may breathe the polluted air and eat unhealthy fast food, a life style that is tend to cause illness. Moreover, busy in workplace, residents in Masonton cross among the tall buildings and walk among cars. A more competitive survival environment leads to a more pressure of reality. That make people feel ill more, even experience more relate-stress illness. So the phenomenon can be understand very well.

Moreover, it is also likely that variance in attitude to illness between Masonton and Leeville make the results look so different. People in Leeville are prefer deal with the illness on their own to turn to doctors or even if got a cold, they will not ask for a leave and still go to work. And the contrary habits suit for people in Masonton. That is to say, not the number or rate of people in two places, may be they are the same, but the attitudes to deal with illness make the results seem to be different.

The three explanations may explain the “facts” the argument state very well, except for the pace of life. A mixed reason is also likely to exist in explaining the phenomenon together. To sum up, only if the author present more details about Masonton and Leeville, can we more definitely kwon the truth of the deference of sick days and stress-related illness.

普渡哥

证据很好。

The Leeville Chamber of Commerce asserts that the relaxed pace of life in Leeville leads to the two facts that Leeville take fewer sick days, and that the diagnosis of stress-related illness is proportionally much lower, and falsely assumes that the relaxed pace of life is the only reason why this situation exist. However, the assertion is plausible at the first glance, close scrutiny of the argument reveals that there are many other more persuasive explanations indeed, including the structures of production, both natural and social environment, and the variance in attitude to illness.

这一段就是一句，好几个and 开头。这样写不好。

竹林中人

你的提纲我不太赞成：
1.关于sick leave这点，在小地方的人也许因为医疗条件或者认识水平的差异，人们无法或者不愿意take sick leave。（另外，fewer sick leave 到底是多少，也许是很小。这点不知道合不合适）
2.对跟压力相关的疾病的诊断，如果很多人不愿意接受诊断，或者不认为压力大等等原因，使得使得这个诊断的数据也不完全符合实际。
3.直接将上面的结果归咎于relax pace of life太过武断。可能是其他原因。
关于argu，你的几个质疑点最好有一定的逻辑顺序，环环相扣。不要交叉。

749896499

好像是。。读起来也太长了  要把他拆成几句话

749896499

谢谢竹林，我写的时候就感觉不对劲  但是没看出多少逻辑错误来  正文的前两段都是你第三个逻辑错误的替代解释  你这样一点我清楚多了 ~~