argu 40 （一个长的outline）

ykhjy

40) Milk and dairy products are rich in vitamin D and calcium—substances essential for building and maintaining bones. Many people therefore say that a diet rich in dairy products can help prevent osteoporosis, a disease that is linked to both environmental and genetic factors and that causes the bones to weaken significantly with age. But a long-term study of a large number of people found that those who consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years of the study have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants in the study. Since bone fractures are symptomatic of osteoporosis, this study result shows that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase, rather than decrease, the risk of osteoporosis.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.




outline：
In this argument, the author concludes that a diet rich in dairy products may actually increase the risk of osteoporosis. While it may be necessary to revalue the effect of products which are rich in vitamin D and calcium on the risk of osteoporosis, the argument is just based on a study which underlies some unwarranted assumptions which lead this argument to be unconvincing.

In the first place, the author seems to assume that the sample of the study is representative enough to make the conclusion that people who have consistently consumed dairy products have a higher rate of bone fractures than any other participants. However, it is in fact questionable. There is no information about the specific number of people who participated in the study, and it is possible that the sample may not be large enough to represent all the people.

In the second place, even if the study is representative, which seems impossible, the author neglects many other possible factors that may lead to the result of the study.Although bone factures are a symptom of osteoporosis, there are also many other reasons that lead to bone factures.

Finally, even if there is no other factors that affect the study's result, and those people's bone factures are really due to osteoporosis, which seems unwarranted, the author fails to establish a casual relationship between having consistently consumed dairy products and higher rate of bone fractures. It is very possible that just because those people originally have a higher rate of bone fractures that they would love to have consistently consumed dairy products throughout the years.

In conclusion, as it stands, this argument is rift with holes. To better evaluate the argument, the author needs to offer information concerning the strong evidences to support that the study is representative, considering other possible factors that may affect the result of the study.


ps： 总觉得第三点可以归到第一点，望各路高手指点一二 啊~

普渡哥

写得太简单了。基本都是一句话概括

ykhjy

本来就是概括  我是希望有没有人给我的提纲提点建议。 觉得第三点和第一点差不多。。