[求助] TWE 179 修改稿, 请批阅

guoliwei

好象NN们最近都忙着写ESSAY, 不过还是恳请抽空帮忙改一下吧.  希望有一天我也可以达到帮别人改文章的水平

TWE 179   What are some of the qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer.

This is a controversial issue nowadays about what are qualities of a good parent. Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, different people will present different answers. Some one thinks that a good parent should be knowledgeable, while others may deem that encouragement is more preferable. As far as I am concerned, I advocate the idea that a good parent should be the person who is responsible, patient and has the outstanding ability to communicate with kids. My arguments are presented as follows.

To begin with, responsibility is one of the most essential qualifications to be a good parent. From the time that kids come into this world, adults start to undertake the duties of being mothers or fathers. These duties, nevertheless, not only mean that providing kids food or clothes such basic material things,  but also indicate that parents should try their best to afford children a warm and ideal environment in which  adolescence grow up smoothly and healthily. For instance, in a family, if mum and dad have a good relationship and create a harmonious atmosphere, their children normally form more healthfully psychological and mental characteristics than those kids living in a single-mother or single-father family. This is extremely vital for a child’s development and advancement.

Next, to be a good parent must have patience. Parent’s patience could promise kids to learn more knowledge and achieve confidence. Unlike most of the adults, children sometimes appear to have a short memory during the process of their studying. For instance, even though some kids have been told many times not to do the same wrong thing, actually they do. Under such circumstances, a patient parent would spend more time and energy to cultivate their children until they completely do the right thing. As a result, the children’s confidence would dramatically get promoted and acquire more knowledge and skills.

Furthermore, a good parent should possess an outstanding ability to communicate freely with sons or daughters. Communication is the basis of successfully building a strong tie between parents and kids and it will also be beneficial to the children’s development. For example, a mother who is good at communication would make it possible to understand her son thoroughly, find out his merits or demerits, share his happiness and unhappiness, and consequently help him to solve the problems which frustrate him. Thus the relations between them will gradually get stronger. Moreover, in the process of communication, children also learn experiences and skills from parents which will be very useful in their future study and work.

Of course, there may be some other personality traits of being a good parent, such as fair and optimistic. But the three points proved here are obviously of primary importance. So, from what have been discussed above, I consider that a good parent should be the person who is responsible, patient and good at communication.

[此贴子已经被作者于2004-9-15 12:03:52编辑过]

gladys_gl

什么时候考试？作文写的不少了好像。祝你考出好成绩

我剩几天就要上战场了，这几天正在全面晕菜状态。

guoliwei

呵呵，刚写了几篇，每次都象挤牙膏，花好长时间，挺郁闷的。我想１０月份考，主要是作文心里还没有底。

看你写的很不错哦，肯定能考出好成绩，ＧＯＯＤ　ＬＵＣＫ

pengstone

以下是引用guoliwei在2004-9-14 15:02:00的发言：

... ...

To begin with, responsibility is one of the most essential qualifications to be a good parent. From the time that (Ever since)kids come into this world, adults (parents)start to undertake the duties of being mothers or fathers. These duties, nevertheless, not only mean that providing kids (provide sb with sth)food or clothes such (or other)basic material things,  but also indicate that parents should try their best to afford children (form)a warm and ideal environment in which  adolescence grow up smoothly and healthily. For instance, in a family, if mum and dad have a good relationship and create a harmonious atmosphere, their children normally form more healthfully psychological and mental characteristics (healthy mentality and integal personality)than those kids living in a single-mother or single-father (single-parent?)family. This(what "this" refer to?) is extremely vital for a child’s development and advancement.

Next, to be a good parent must have patience. Parent’s patience could promise (help)kids to learn more knowledge and achieve confidence. Unlike most of the adults, children sometimes appear to have a short memory during the process of their studying. For instance, even though some kids have been told many times not to do the same wrong thing, actually they do. Under such circumstances, a patient parent would spend more time and energy to cultivate their children until they completely do the right thing. As a result, the children’s confidence would dramatically get promoted and acquire more knowledge and skills.

先看这么多吧 还是要注意小语法错误 写完后一定自己检查一下

soaring

以下是引用guoliwei在2004-9-14 15:02:00的发言：

好象NN们最近都忙着写ESSAY, 不过还是恳请抽空帮忙改一下吧.  希望有一天我也可以达到帮别人改文章的水平

TWE 179   What are some of the qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer.

This is a controversial issue nowadays about what are qualities of a good parent. （呵呵，MM为什么不用问句形式开头呢？模版看多了觉得有点不爽的哦）Depending on personal experience, personality type and emotional concern, different people will present different answers. Some one thinks that a good parent should be knowledgeable, while others may deem that encouragement is more preferable（觉得有不妥，说不上来，呵呵，我能明白MM的意思，就是不知道ETS明白不）. As far as I am concerned, I advocate the idea that a good parent should be the person who is responsible, patient and has the outstanding ability to communicate with kids. My arguments are presented as follows.

To begin with, responsibility is one of the most essential qualifications to be a good parent. From the time that kids come into this world, adults start to undertake the duties of being mothers or fathers. These duties, nevertheless, not only mean that providing kids food or clothes such basic material things（basic material things such as food or clothes),  but also indicate that parents should try their best to afford children a warm and ideal environment in which  adolescence ( could) grow up smoothly and healthily. For instance, in a family, if mum and dad have a good relationship and create a harmonious atmosphere, their children normally form more healthfully psychological and mental characteristics than those kids living in a single-mother or single-father (single-pareant) family. This is extremely vital for a child’s development and advancement.

Next, to be a good parent must have (be) patience. Parent’s patience could promise kids to learn more knowledge and achieve confidence. Unlike most of the adults, children sometimes appear to have a short memory during the process of their studying. For instance, even though some kids have been told many times not to do the same wrong thing, actually they do. Under such circumstances, a patient parent would spend more time and energy to cultivate their children until they completely (ultimately) do the right thing. As a result, the children’s confidence would dramatically get promoted and acquire more knowledge and skills.

Furthermore, a good parent should possess an outstanding ability to communicate freely with sons or daughters. Communication is the basis of successfully building a strong tie between parents and kids and it will also be beneficial to the children’s development. For example, a mother who is good at communication would make it possible to understand her son thoroughly, find out his merits or demerits, share his happiness and unhappiness, and consequently help him to solve the problems which frustrate him. (good!!!) Thus the relations between them will gradually get stronger. Moreover, in the process of communication, children also learn experiences (可数吗？我不太确定，MM查下吧)and skills from parents which will be very useful in their future study and work.

Of course, there may be some other personality traits of being a good parent, such as fair and optimistic. But the three points proved here are obviously of primary importance. So(Therefore) , from what have been discussed above, I consider that a good parent should be the person who is responsible, patient and good at communication.

不错不错，继续努力哦。加油加油

soaring

还有的参照stone GG 的，嘿嘿

guoliwei

谢谢pengstone和soaring_2004两位版主，你们的修改对我很有帮助，去掉了一些不必要的累赘，显得更精炼。多谢了！我再修改。

guoliwei

修改了再贴一次, 请NN继续帮忙, 多谢

TWE 179   What are some of the qualities of a good parent? Use specific details and examples to explain your answer.

Parents play a leading role in the process of children’s development in our society. Whether a parent is good or not has a major influence on kids’ future. Then, what are some of the qualities of a good parent? When faced with the question, people will present many different answers such as kind-hearted, sensible etc. In my view, however, I advocate that a good parent should be the person who is responsible, patient and has outstanding ability to communicate with kids. My arguments are presented as follows.

To begin with, responsibility is one of the most essential qualifications to be a good parent. Ever since kids come into this world, parents start to undertake the duties. These duties, nevertheless, not only mean providing kids with food or clothes or other basic material things, but also indicate that parents should try their best to form a warm and ideal environment in which adolescence could grow up smoothly and healthily. For instance, in a family, if mum and dad have a good relationship and create a harmonious atmosphere, their children normally shape more healthy mentality and integral personality than those kids living in a single-parent family. Having healthy mentality and integral personality is extremely vital for a child’s development and advancement.

Next, good parent must have patience. Parent’s patience could help kids to learn more knowledge and achieve confidence. Unlike most of the adults, children sometimes appear to have a short memory during their studying. For instance, even though some kids have been told many times not to do the same wrong thing, actually they do. Under such circumstances, a patient parent would spend more time and energy to cultivate their children until they ultimately do the right thing. As a result, the children’s confidence would dramatically get promoted and acquire more knowledge and skills.

Furthermore, a good parent should possess an outstanding ability to communicate freely with sons or daughters. Communication is the basis of successfully building a strong tie between parents and kids and it will also be beneficial to the children’s development. For example, a mother who is good at communication would make it possible to understand her son thoroughly, find out his merits or demerits, share his happiness and unhappiness, and consequently help him to solve the problems which frustrate him. Thus the relations between them will gradually get stronger. Moreover, children also could learn valuable experience and skills from parents which will be very useful in their future study and work.

Of course, there may be some other personality traits of being a good parent, such as fair and optimistic. But the three points proved here are obviously of primary importance. Therefore, from what have been discussed above, I consider that a good parent should be the person who is responsible, patient and good at communication