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[作文互改] issue82 求拍!!关于应不应该让学生交流一个学期到海外~

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楼主
发表于 2012-3-8 21:57:11 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
题目是:Colleges and universities should require their students to spend at least one semester studying in a foreign country.
Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.



下面是我写得:
The author asserts that colleges and universities should make arrangements to allow their students to spend at least one semester abroad. I am inclined to support the idea that students should go out from their own homeland to learn, because it brings so many benefits, some are obvious and the others are invisible.

Although books have played a significant role in the process of spreading knowledge, we should not ignore the importance of experiences for there are always something cannot be got from books. The knowledge we get from the experiences of studying abroad is just such kind and going to another country can fill up the blanks in our knowledge systems. In the other hand, studying abroad will offer us opportunities to feel the culture diversity, thus we are able to broaden horizon and deepen thoughts. The famous philosopher Confucius in ancient China who had built a philosophy system which had greatly affected Asian for 2000 years was actually inspired by his experiences during the journey around different kingdoms. Like Confucius, we will also get refreshed when communicating with those who have various culture backgrounds and seeing sceneries unfamiliar.  

There are people who admit that culture diversity will bring benefits to students, but they claim that the negative part of culture diversity outweighs the positive part. The main worry of them lays on the students’ communicating with foreigners and hold that it will be an obstacle to makes it hard for students to live a normal life, which has negative impact on students’ studying process. To my opinion, however, that is a brilliant chance for students to improve their communication skills since we all understand how important it is in today’s world where the tendency of globalization is getting more and more obvious. Without good communication skills, getting precise and useful information in time seems impossible, thus the competitiveness of those who lack of communicating skills will definitely be diminished. Hence, learning in foreign countries is not only helpful but also necessary.

What’s more, for students who have already had a plan to take further education in other countries, it will offer them appropriate opportunities to experience in advance and lower the risks of their plans. For common sense tells us that we can never get to understand somebody’s situation until we wear their shoes for miles, familiarize the lives abroad will help students decide whether taking a graduation course in another countries is suitable for them.

At the same time, we should not be blind to the problem accompanied-studying abroad needs more money than inland and there are some families which cannot afford the extra money. I suggest the colleges solve this problem by set up a mutual fund, whose initial capital is donated by alumni. When students benefited by the mutual fund have enough resources of money, they could donate to the fund and that will be a virtuous circle.

All in all, the advantages of studying in foreign country for one semester outweigh the disadvantages. By taking a semester abroad, students are able to gain information about the world, sharpen their thoughts and improve their living skills. Although finance might be a problem for some students, it can be overcome by practical methods.
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沙发
发表于 2012-3-9 11:38:04 | 只看该作者
There are people who admit that culture diversity will bring benefits to students, but they claim that the negative part of culture diversity outweighs the positive part.

这句话有点别扭,可以重新组织:
 There are some people who partly agree with benefits of culture diversity but still want to claim......

重温英文语法,不要让美国人小看中国人的语法能力。。
板凳
发表于 2012-3-10 14:44:01 | 只看该作者
建议你的第一段否定了题目中的说法之后,要把自己的观点立场写出来,否定别人的并不能代表自己的观点
第二段第三段太长,有必要重新组织或者分为两段。
如普度哥所说,不要有太多的chinglish的表达,要显得地道,建议多做做翻译练习,比如新概念英语课文的中文翻译,你再翻译回去,对照
地板
 楼主| 发表于 2012-3-11 11:23:16 | 只看该作者
建议你的第一段否定了题目中的说法之后,要把自己的观点立场写出来,否定别人的并不能代表自己的观点
第二段第三段太长,有必要重新组织或者分为两段。
如普度哥所说,不要有太多的chinglish的表达,要显得地道,建议多做做翻译练习,比如新概念英语课文的中文翻译,你再翻译回去,对照
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/3/10 14:44:01)



恩恩~话说请教一下一段到底写多少才合适呢?
5#
发表于 2012-3-11 11:57:02 | 只看该作者
建议你的第一段否定了题目中的说法之后,要把自己的观点立场写出来,否定别人的并不能代表自己的观点
第二段第三段太长,有必要重新组织或者分为两段。
如普度哥所说,不要有太多的chinglish的表达,要显得地道,建议多做做翻译练习,比如新概念英语课文的中文翻译,你再翻译回去,对照
-- by 会员 竹林中人 (2012/3/10 14:44:01)




恩恩~话说请教一下一段到底写多少才合适呢?
-- by 会员 tv加菲 (2012/3/11 11:23:16)

一段100左右,不要多出太多,一般是4到5行
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