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[argument] 第一篇ARGUMENT 我就想知道ARGUMENT是不是这样写就够了

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楼主
发表于 2012-1-31 18:22:48 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
4、"Of the two leading real estate firms in our town—Adams Realty and Fitch Realty—Adams is clearly superior. Adams has 40 real estate agents. In contrast, Fitch has 25, many of whom work only part-time(1,2,5). Moreover, Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch, and included home sales that averaged $168,000, compared to Fitch's $144,000(3,4,6). Homes listed with Adams sell faster as well: ten years ago, I listed my home with Fitch and it took more than four months to sell; last year, when I sold another home, I listed it with Adams, and it took only one month(7). Thus, if you want to sell your home quickly and at a good price, you should use Adams."
  write in a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument .Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.


正文:
The author of the letter who supports the viewpoint that Adams Realty is clearly superior offers an seemingly cogent argument but to go forward ,actually it would definitely needs more information ,conditions.While the superficial correlations which the letter stated are seemingly logical, there are a lot of tenable assumptions hidden behind it,which are listed and examined vigorously as follows.

   Firstly,the author claims  the fact that Adams has 40 real estate agents while Fitch only has 25,many of whom work part-time.,which implies that the more agents the better and the more professional the better.However,if all of the 40 real estate agents in Adams actually work part-time?And what's the exact number of "many"? The author assumes that Fitch has less professional agents than Adams,which is quite tenable and frail.To strengthen his/her argument,the author of course would be benefit from such a unclear and seemingly compelling evidence.

     Secondly,the author naively present the data ,which potentiate his/her argument greatly,that Adams' revenue last year was twice as high as that of Fitch and included house sales that averaged $168,000,compared to #144,000 that of Fitch.Nevertheless,what if the Adams always aim at the high -level house market and refuse to receive the sale of a low-level house which is just accord to the author's friend's house?And what if actually Adams sell house at a lower price than the actual price ,while the Fitch may be sell a higher price than the actual price?Moreover,the author may covers the truth by the unstated assumption that because Adams has a greater amount of income and higher sales prices than that of Fitch's,the friend of the author would consequently benefits more if he use Adam's.What if actually the home of the friend is not in their town but in abroad?It's possible because the write use letter to advise his/her friend rather than a call normally.Then maybe Adams Realty couldn't be able to finish the task even if all of the naive assumptions could surprisingly be confirmed to be reality.  

  Last,another absurd evidence which the author provided as his/her true experience to prove that homes listed with Adams sell faster that with Fitch has more holes and would provoke more discrepancies due to the unproved assumption that the condition of house sale at ten years ago is similar to that in the last year.
What if the assumption is not valid due to the economic development which made the sale of house more frequent than ten years ago?And the author assumes that the popularity of the two house discussed above is comparable.What if one of his house is for sale at a very low price with nice quality due to his/her lack of money in last year,which lead to huge popularity among buyers? What if the other one is priced much higher than the actual value,which caused low popularity of the house?

In conclusion,with examining the whole stated and unstated assumptions,it is obvious to see the naivety and simplicity of the author's argument,and as for the friend of his/her,he/she should consider carefully when making this important judgment.


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沙发
发表于 2012-2-1 01:13:12 | 只看该作者
1. superior offers an (a) seemingly cogent argument but to >continue< go forward ,actually (omit, go forward ,actually) it would definitely >require< needs (omit, needs) more information ,conditions (information and conditions).
2. which potentiate (?? what word was this supposed to be?) his/her argument greatly,
3. as that of Fitch('s) and included house
4. Adams always aim(ed) at the high-level house market
5. Adams sell house(s) at a lower price
6. may covers (cover) the truth
7. their town but in (is) abroad?
8. When you end a sentence put a period right after the last word, then leave a space before the first word of the next sentence, same with commas and other punctuations put them right after the word then leave a space before the next word

good luck
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2012-2-1 10:54:41 | 只看该作者
Regardless of the problem of words choice , is there anything mistake on the whole construction of the passage?
地板
发表于 2012-2-1 12:48:28 | 只看该作者
Word choice can be a big part and the mistakes I listed above were not all of them. The construction looks good though
5#
发表于 2012-2-1 16:42:00 | 只看该作者
你的字太小了看不见
6#
 楼主| 发表于 2012-2-3 16:11:18 | 只看该作者
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