A48,求拍，400字不到，请教如何展开论证……

cqcn1991

Thefollowing appeared in a magazine article about planning for retirement.            

Clearviewshould be a top choice for anyone seeking a place to retire, because it hasspectacular natural beauty and a consistent climate. Another advantage is thathousing costs in Clearview have fallen significantly during the past year, andtaxes remain lower than those in neighboring towns. Moreover, Clearview's mayorpromises many new programs to improve schools, streets, and public services.And best of all, retirees in Clearview can also expect excellent health care asthey grow older, since the number of physicians in the area is far greater thanthe national average."      

Write aresponse in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate theargument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

感觉确实写了一些东西。但是字数好像太少了 380字，按照官方的要求，其实就是没有develop

不知道应该怎么样去充实文章……还是说攻击点找得太少了？

这篇好像确实是，但是有的Argument感觉真的就只有几个点可以攻击

1.房价可能依然过高；另外需要知道房价下跌的原因

2.当前的public service的发展情况；improvement的完成时间

3.医疗水平不只是医生的数量，还有其他因素；医生的数量本身也不是充分条件

It wouldbe wonderful to live in a place with natural beauty as well as low costs. However,the information provided is far from satisfying, offering only a tentative conclusionrather than a thoroughly investigate. Clearly, to make a convincingrecommendation, more evidence is needed.

To beginwith, we need to know the house price of Clearview. While the decline last yearis an appealing image, the exact price is still unclear. It is likely that thehouse price is still so prohibitive that people cannot afford, even thoughafter a dramatic decrease. Besides, we should examine the reason behind thisdecline. For example, maybe there is plan of building factory polluting nearthe Clearview, which makes people no longer be interested in that place, anddesperately selling their houses. In this case, choosing to living in Clearviewcould not be a wise one.

Additionally,information should be presented concerning the current development ofClearview. Undoubtedly we are happy to see the investment in public services,but what about their current conditions? If these public services are alreadyabove a high standard, then this would ensure a better experience. But maybethe investment is simply not enough to promote them to a sufficient level,since they are not well-developed at beginning. In fact, the time of thisprogram should also be taken into account. If it takes years to finish, then wemay have to endure the public service in low development.

Besides,we still have to confirm the health care level. An adequate level of healthcare requires more than the physicians. Hospital number and distribution, medicalequipment and whole number of medical practitioner matter. Though there aremany physicians, we do not know the population of Clearview. Maybe Clearviewhas a considerable number of population, which calls for more physicians. Butwe do not know whether the current number is enough or not according to theargument.

To sumup, the argument is largely based on some unconvincing comparisons, leaving theexact situation almost unknown. It is easy to understand that everyone needs anagreeable place to spend his life. However, it is for the same reason that weshould carefully choose this place. Maybe living in Clearview is indeed asatisfying choice. But it severely suffers from the argument’s disappointingpresentation.

竹林中人

漏洞只要你想找，绝对可以找到的，我们上新东方的时候一般每一个都至少有五六点漏洞的

ppguo

还有几个漏洞：
1. 说那个地方是退休地方的首选，因为自然景观和天气。但是还有其他因素，比如说交通，医疗等等。
2. 当政府改善公共设施的时候，是否会破坏环境，会带来交通不便，噪音等等。

一个比较好的方法，是看看其他人的范文，拍拍其他人写的。