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2012fall msf第1篇ps 求各位拍砖

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楼主
发表于 2011-10-1 11:58:24 | 只看该作者 回帖奖励 |倒序浏览 |阅读模式
Explain your short-term and long-term career plans as specifically as possible. When combined with your studies at Owen, how will your background, previous experiences, interests and personal attributes enable you to pursue these goals successfully? 500 words  vandy

I like to share my experience, grow with my partners, and help those people who have dream and consistent passion like me, have their distinctive ideas, and have logical strategies, so I choose Private Equity/Venture Capital as my final career goal and even as part of my life because it is not just a task or a job to me. Working as an equity research analyst is a nice entry-level position to begin my journey. I have to say the capital market is the crystal of human wisdom, as price can reveal the confidence level of investors. However, all the information, financial statement, management team, and specific industry prosperous behind the stock price of specific company are the factors that determine the price. Through 3—5 years equity research experience covering a specific industry, I can gain insight about how to analyze strength and weakness of company in real world, how to forecast the industry trend, and what is the mature model of a success company in this industry. After grasping skill of analyzing macro-aspect of particular company, it is time for me to do something more managerial-related. I would like to be a project manager in a PE/VC company 3—5 years later. During this period, my goal is to strengthen my managerial capacity, that is, follow those senior executives to learn their management skills and real application of investment and portfolio management, and I believe that equity research experience would offer me a unique perspective to understand problems and solutions. At last, when I feel I am equipped with sufficient hard skills and soft skills, I would start my own private equity firm.


To achieve my immediate career goal, that is, to become an equity research analyst, I need to learn much more about
mathematical or computational model assisting in financial decision-making, the evaluation of potential mergers and acquisitions and corporate restructuring, and refined tools to prepare, understand, and analyze financial statements, which can be fulfilled through required courses such as financial modeling and corporate evaluation and some electives such as financial reporting. Moreover, the flexible curriculum enables me to choose courses that will lay the foundation for long-term PE career, including Game theory and Business strategy and Negotiation, and to select courses concerning real estate, a fun and exciting field that I really want to delve into. Besides overall academic excellence, MBA studentsand world-class professors who have great experience and deep connections in the business worldalso mean a lot to me.Integrated with them provides me with great opportunities to network and learn leadership and real business world, especially so in Owen, a community where People work and study collaboratively and are so friendly to each other. What is more, Case study, group work, data and tools in the world-class Walker Management Library,such as Bloomberg, will help me learn how to apply critical thinking, problem solving, and communication strategies to realistic business situations, which are important for me to be competitive in recent job market. At last, with personalized career advice and guidance from the Career Management



Center

staff and MBA peer coaches, I am confident that
upon graduation I will secure a decent job that acts as a firm foundation for my long-term career goal.








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沙发
发表于 2011-10-1 12:05:05 | 只看该作者
先占个沙发~~
板凳
发表于 2011-10-1 12:20:34 | 只看该作者
粗粗看了一眼,有两个比较大的问题。

1.你没有写任何自己的经历,这样无法让人信服你能够secure a decent job in VC/PE industry。单单一个OWEN MSF的学位,进入这个领域是不够的。

2.关于OWEN,你只提到了一句话。而且especially in Owen很容易感觉到这是一个spam。你只要把owen换成simon,把人家图书馆名字换了,就能去投rochester了。也许你前面列的course是Owen独有的,但是这里体现不出来,我建议你在第二段加一个总起句说明一下此段的目的。

另外,建议你用对GMAT SC的态度吹毛求疵地对待你的每个句子,你会发现问题还是不少的。bless u~
地板
发表于 2011-10-1 12:30:52 | 只看该作者
我之前也在考虑vandy的essay,lz对学校还是做过一定research的啦,好像第二段很多都是他家介绍里直接改写的?
主要问题还是没有自己的经历
5#
发表于 2011-10-1 12:47:49 | 只看该作者
我之前也在考虑vandy的essay,lz对学校还是做过一定research的啦,好像第二段很多都是他家介绍里直接改写的?
主要问题还是没有自己的经历
-- by 会员 thebeekeeper (2011/10/1 12:30:52)



Vandy比较难写的是他第二篇essay,一个月下来我还是没思路。。。
6#
发表于 2011-10-1 12:49:03 | 只看该作者
我觉得你是知道自己要什么,但应该加点东西,类似于我凭什么要这些,我有哪些比较出色的地方使得我在这个领域更容易成功。
加一下personal experience 会更好。用事例说话。

个人意见,仅供参考哈。
7#
发表于 2011-10-1 13:02:36 | 只看该作者
我之前也在考虑vandy的essay,lz对学校还是做过一定research的啦,好像第二段很多都是他家介绍里直接改写的?
主要问题还是没有自己的经历
-- by 会员 thebeekeeper (2011/10/1 12:30:52)




Vandy比较难写的是他第二篇essay,一个月下来我还是没思路。。。
-- by 会员 gmatfucker (2011/10/1 12:47:49)



是的,我能想到的都很不professional
8#
发表于 2011-10-1 13:42:29 | 只看该作者
找个厉害的人里里结构  然后 找个editor改改
9#
发表于 2011-10-1 14:02:58 | 只看该作者
最大的问题:所有的东西都是虚的。
10#
发表于 2011-10-1 14:14:07 | 只看该作者
没有自己的经历 东西虚
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