复旦大学外语老师说一点点都没错误，大大们帮我看看好么？

wengyue31

Shanghai Expo,is it a blessing or a curse?


On the one hand,many people claim that Expo does good to SH. Firstly, they will hail expo as a great event where East meets West .And,Chinses culture is so fascinating that it impacts on every foreign visitors. Secondly, Expo will to great extent boost the local economy. Moreover, nothing has so greatly affected SH’ transportation and environment With an increasing number of environmentally friendly buses and taxis taking the place of the old and polluted ones ,SH’air quality has been much better now .Equally ,it is much more convenient for people to go to their destinations.
On the other hand, others hold the opposite opinion,they contend that so many people from all over the world get together in SH at the same time ,which push SH under great pressure ,not only when it comes to transportation but security . Worsestill, chances are that visitors may disturb the normal life and work of local people.
In my perspective ,I insist that expo is indispensable to modern SH.The successful expo give birth to a good impression on SH ,even on China.For another ,expo does benefits the majority of people who lives in shanghai .



小弟好心给别人改作文，结果反被他骂，说我改得不对，说他给复旦大学老师看了，一点点错误都没有，我很憋屈。大大们能随便指出几个错误之处么。

ietoer

On the one hand,many people claim that Expo does good to SH. Firstly, they will hail expo as a great event where East meets West .And,Chinses culture is so fascinating that it impacts on every foreign visitors（这整个单句说上句间基本没有任何逻辑关系）. Secondly, Expo will to great extent boost the local economy. Moreover, nothing has so greatly affected SH’ transportation and environment With an increasing number of environmentally friendly buses and taxis taking the place of the old and polluted ones ,SH’air quality has been much better now .Equally ,it is much more convenient for people to go to their destinations.
On the other hand, others hold the opposite opinion,they contend that so many people from all over the world get together in SH at the same time ,which push SH under great pressure ,not only when it comes to transportation but security . Worsestill, chances are that visitors may disturb the normal life and work of local people.
In my perspective ,I insist that expo is indispensable to modern SH.The successful expo give birth to a good impression on SH ,even on China.For another ,expo does benefits the majority of people who lives in shanghai .

简单划一下吧，具体错误不说了。

amaibaobao

小错误多到不行了。。。。 观点也非常搞笑~~~

复旦老师是懒得给s/he改了吧。。