先说第一段吧~第一句子没有main clause，只有一个subordinate clause,而且有WETHER的那个不是问句是一个IF那样的句子，中文我不知道叫什么。。。第三句，最后一个THAT后面要跟句子，不能是一个词，还有这句子里面都是THAT读着特别拗口，不舒服，能省的就省了。ffice ffice" />
Witnesses and presents many examples，这个不是句子。。。没有SUBJECT
When we want to gain from experience with knowledge, we may have to explore and prove and define which knowledge are wrong or right and useful or un-useful(好象没有这个词).读不大通顺。。“when we try to gain knowledge from experience, we have to be able to explore, prove and define whether it is useful for us.”
Therefore, gaining knowledge by experience take a lot of time. In contrast, learning things from the book not only help us get useful and right knowledge directly and quickly, but also improve our efficiency and save time to do other things. Don't you think the above example is very persuasive? (因为你只举了一个例子）
这个HEAD AND CHEIF REASON的我也写过，不过我觉得直接在前面加比较难想，我用的another head and chief reason that i have chosen to put there is______________横线上写句子。
Another head and chief reason that i have chosen to put here is that books provide us with a sense of systematic study. There is no better illustration can demonstrate my view. The book provides us with systematic and scientific way of gaining knowledge. For example we may learn how to speak, write and understand mathematical equations from the books, instead of actually trying out them like what people did five thousand years ago. If you can see that, you can understand my point better.
There are more reasons to why it is more important to gain knowledge from book. For example, books are very convenient and provide a shortcut for us. However, getting knowledge from personally experience also has its own merits. For instance, knowledge such as work experience, life experience and study experience cannot be learned from the book. Nevertheless, the advantages of learning knowledge from books carry more weight than the advantages of learning from experience. Hence, the most striking conclusion is obvious.
To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, which sometime intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we can safely reach the conclusion that it is more important to gain knowledge from book than experience. In fact, not only do we need to read lots of books, but also we need to apply knowledge in the book to our realistic life as much as possible.
总体意见：我觉得你的理由有，结构有，就是句子不大通顺，而且很多时候，说着说着就没有了，句子都是半句的。这篇文章写到结尾就都变成EXPERIENCE和BOOKS了，可是文章讨论的是得到知识的方法，要写全，可以用代词，但是不能忽略。还有标点的用法， for instance后面不能用COLON，COLON的用法是在完整句后面加，TWE里面我觉得基本用不上。时态和语法我写的时候也不是特别注意，所以我也没看出来。我觉得文章要能说的连贯通顺一点就好了，要再练习。模版掌握感觉不是特别熟，而且不能生套。最后一段的最后一句话就给个建议就行了。不用非写那句话，显的有点连不上。。。
我就说这么多了，你多练习，应该可以提高很多。。。。。+U+U~~好累。。。我写作业去了。。。
PS：我改的不好。别骂我呀。。。。
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发表于 2004-3-2 15:18:00
楼主
，可不要见笑啊
