[求助]大家给点一见，谢谢了！！！快考试了，作文还是很烂，怎么连啊 ？

653wo

185 BUY A  HOUSE  OR A BUSINESS ?

When confronted with this question ,different people will have different opinions based on thire preference concern and styles of personality .Some people may chose to buy a house ,meanwhile other people prefer to buy a business.Personally ,I would be ,probably always be,  one of those who prefer to buy a business.My arguments are as following .

 

To begin with ,the main reason for my propensity for buy a business is that i like to do business ,since i was young ,of course ,still love to do business now ,and I have dramed to have a business myself oneday .I remember that when I graduate from the high school I tried to go to university to learn business. However ,I did not succeed and I had to make with the second best ,to learn math . When was a university student ,I always go to business classes ,though my major was math .So if I have a chance to set a business myself ,never hesitate i will.

 

In the second place ,I chose to buy a business also because that though setting a business I could help a lot of relatives and friend ,I can help them eran more money and make thire life easier .I have several relatives and some good friends, who do not have jobs . Thire life are not very difficult ,because thire income is so limited due to having no jobs .So ,if I can set a business,then though helping them to set smaller business or find jobs in my company , I could do them a big favor ,of course.

 

Finally ,there is another reason for my inclination for buying  a business .If i buy a business ,I will run it continuously ,then i will make more  money.Also I can contribute a large sum of ravenues to the government or help my community to build a series of infrastructure .

 

O f course ,buying a house is a good choice ,and I can improve my familiy's living condition . This is a merit about which there is no room for doubt ,yet ,I think buying a business will be more meaningful .

asasy

  有几个词打错了，比如 第三段的eran 应该是earn吧，thire应该是their 。打字打太快了，我也会出现字母顺序打错的 ^-^ 注意一下就好了。

  注意用词多样性，尤其是出现频率高的词，可以用同义词来替代，如business,你整篇出现了十几次，都用business,建议可用commerce，trade， bargain, deal，还有短语 start career ，之类的来代替，但是要注意用法。其它的我也没什么可说的。关键还是练习。