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麻烦德克给拍一下啦~~马上就考了~感激不尽(再次麻烦德克 我以经word了 这回不会有拼错了)

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楼主
发表于 2007-8-20 18:09:00 | 只看该作者

麻烦德克给拍一下啦~~马上就考了~感激不尽(再次麻烦德克 我以经word了 这回不会有拼错了)

TOEFL iBT Writing 
Independent writing 
58  is profits the only purpose of company ? 

      Currently , especially when we step into the information age with the rapidly growth of the economy worldwide , most of the companies adopt the faith of " maximum profits at lowest cost "  . It is admitted that there is not much argument around this faith , but  personally speaking , I assume that every single company should  abide by the law and regulations endorsed by the government , and also should not violate the general moral standard which is acknowledged by the public .
       Firstly , each company should not bribe the government officer in order to reach  any economical benefits  , such as getting  a  big-scale
            
construction project , passing the license , so on and so forth .  I have recently been quite thrilled by the transparency which the Beijing 2008 Olympic committee has displayed during the process of choosing and deciding the construction plans and companies in the Olympic-related sports stadiums.  
       Secondly , not all the law could restrict harmful behaviors of the company , so  moral standard in this kind of condition should play a crucial role .  For  instance , some companies force their employees to work some extra time only providing the same amount of money as the usual work hour . Actually , there is certain law against this , but most of the employee do not speak it out fearing they might lose the job .  It is mostly same as the pollution problem  , there is law explicitly against it , but still many companies dump the wastes , give off the toxic gas , pour the polluted water  , and so on.
      As discussed above , the companies should not only settle the profits as the only goal in their business pursuit , they should take the government law , as well as the social moral standard  into deep consideration . 

time : 26 minutes


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-8-21 16:13:06编辑过]
沙发
发表于 2007-8-20 19:23:00 | 只看该作者

虽然都看得懂。。但是自己就写不出来啊。。

郁闷啊。。怎么摆脱傻瓜写作水平啊。。。

板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2007-8-20 19:52:00 | 只看该作者
以下是引用fanfan141在2007-8-20 19:23:00的发言:

虽然都看得懂。。但是自己就写不出来啊。。

郁闷啊。。怎么摆脱傻瓜写作水平啊。。。

Don not be upset    keeping working hard   you will improve a lot in writing

地板
发表于 2007-8-21 15:15:00 | 只看该作者

应该是companies吧

firstly,secondly换成for one thing, addition应该会更好些.

中间两段还可以再展开些.可以举个bribe的例子,说明它的害处.

5#
发表于 2007-8-21 15:34:00 | 只看该作者

我复制到word文档里边看了看

首先:字数太少.含标点一共313个词.这是不够的.因为真实考试是不计算标点的.所以你至少要写到350词.

其次:拼写错误太多.为了体现你对改作文的人的尊敬,最好先把错误纠正了.

6#
发表于 2007-8-21 15:38:00 | 只看该作者
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7#
 楼主| 发表于 2007-8-21 15:39:00 | 只看该作者

说得不错  时间限制确实是有些压力 

对不起   望了去 word  一下 


[此贴子已经被作者于2007-8-21 15:41:54编辑过]
8#
发表于 2007-8-21 22:47:00 | 只看该作者

最近怎么你们老是写偏题!

我老是改到偏题的作文!

你写偏了.

题目问的是:是不是only purpose

你谈的不是purpose,更类似于义务了

同志们,审题不准,等于白写

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