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Just as Confucius, the greatest philosopher and educator in ancient China, once commented,“art and music can purify human souls and lead us to a spiritual world lies beyond.”
这个是经典的初级错误： JUST AS。。。。，SO。。。。一般是用来连接两个CLAUSES的。In this case, "Just as" starts the first part of a compound sentence, the subordinate clause of the sentence and automatically, the reader expects the main clause. Futher, in the quotation, Confucius could have said something better than what cited here. In written English, parallelism is impotant because it makes your argumentation persuasive. However, the correct paralel structure must be paralelized. In this example, "human" does not well correspond to "us". One thing here is excellent is the usage of "lies beyond", which correctly domenstrate the speech register of Confucius. Simply put, to express the same meaning that the author tried to convey by this sentence, we may write as "Confucius, the greatest philosopher and educator in ancient China, once commented, “Art and music can purify human/our souls, leading them/us to a spiritual world lies beyond". In the light of this noble sage’s guide, music and art have tremendously salutary impacts on students and virtually they do have, hence my perspective-every student should, more or less, be required to learn art and music): Here the expression are redundant and awkward. Besides, though "impact" could be countable or uncountable, in most cases, it is used by its singular form--"impact" of sth on sth. If we need to emphasize the importance of the "impact", we could place modifiers before impact. | 
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发表于 2007-9-5 16:22:00
