高手请进,欢迎修改~~

yubing2007

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television, newspapers, magazines, and other media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people such as public figures and celebrities. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion.

In recent years, the bulk of media like to report the private lives of some famous people. While people who oppose the idea that a mass of media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people claim that it is just the job of medai, in my opinion, the medai such as newspapers, magazines, and television programs focus on the public figures and celebrities too frequently for sure. However, any argument remains groundless unless we manage to present plenty of evidence to support it.

Media spend a lot of time or passages to report the personal lives of famous people is always top of the list of my argument. While turning over an newspaper or turning on a television program casually, you will find that there are always a large number of reports about the privacy of some famous people, especially some TV stars and pop singers. As to most people, they feel it is a normal phenomenon because the reports such as what has mentioned above are spreading around them every day.

An additional cause rests with the fact that media always neglect the achievement of these famous people, but just focus on their personal lives instead. Celebrities are famous for their achievement which shoud be paid attention to, but most people seem to concern their privacy much more. So in order to cater to the public’s taste, media give up to report the information about celebrities’ success, and still are willing to report news about the personal lives of famous people.

An equally factor that deserves our attention is the fact that the madia don’t be trusted by more and more public figures. Because lots of reports about their privacy, even some untrue news be covered, which bring some inconvenience and even hurt to them, the famous people begin to doubt media and make a distance with it.

From what has been mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this conclusion that media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people. It is not beneficial for the public and the celebrities. So some measures could be taken to control this phenomenon.  

 

tomatohead

In recent years, the bulk of media like to report the private lives of some famous people. While people who oppose the idea that a mass of media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people claim that it is just the job of medai, in my opinion, the medai such as newspapers, magazines, and television programs focus on the public figures and celebrities too frequently for sure. However, any argument remains groundless unless we manage to present plenty of evidence to support it(However, any kind of opinion needs adequate reasons and examples to support).What is your thesis statement? Which side are you supporting?

Media spend(s) a lot of time or (use)passages to report the personal lives of famous people is always top of the list of my argument. While(I think you are not clear about "while"'s usage) turning(Once flip through) over (remove)an newspaper or turning on a television program casually, you will find that there are always a large number(plenty) of reports about the privacy of some famous people, especially some TV stars and pop singers. As to most people, they feel it is a normal phenomenon because the reports such as what has mentioned above are spreading around them every day(not clear. As most people have been soaked in this kind of culture that  celebrity's privacy is a great entertainment) .

An additional cause rests with the fact that media always neglect the achievement of these famous people, but just focus(rather focus) on their personal lives instead(remove). Celebrities are famous for their achievement which shoud be paid attention to, but most people seem to concern their privacy much more(to be more curious about their private life). So("so" is informal in writing, use therefore,) in order to cater to the public’s taste, media give up to report the information about celebrities’ success, and still are willing to report news about the personal lives of famous people.

An equally factor that deserves our attention is the fact that the madia don’t be trusted by more and more public figures. Because lots of reports about their privacy, even some untrue news be covered, which bring some inconvenience and even hurt to them, the famous people begin to doubt media and make a distance with it.(Some grammar problems, and very vague arguementative points.)

Rewrite: Another fact that we may notice is that public figures may produce false news about themselves. Because some paparazzi are good at capturing or creat exaggerated news regarding some celebrities. More and more celebrities start to shun from media or make up false news to protect themselves. Audiences may lose the ability to distinguish what has been reported is true or not .

From what has been mentioned above, it is not difficult to assert this conclusion that media pay too much attention to the personal lives of famous people. It is not beneficial for the public and the celebrities. So some measures could be taken to control this phenomenon. (Not clear) 

 

 

yubing2007

谢谢指教!