[求助]不知我这种驳论式的写法是否合适？

liuluyao

我练了185题库中的第一篇，“为什么要上大学”。题目中列举了几个目的：为工作作准备，获取知识等。而我的写法是，先点出我的观点：上大学是为了学会独立思考的能力；然后对题目中列举的目的进行批驳，说明这些目的并非上大学的根本目的，在批驳的过程中同时证明我的观点；最后再集中论证我的观点。

我不知道我这种对题目中已经给出的例子进行批驳的做法是否合适，还请高人指点！

另外，这是我第一篇托福习作，一定错误不少，请多多包涵，不吝赐教！谢谢！

Why People Attend College 

People attend college or university for many different reasons. However, I believe that the purpose of going to college is to learn to think for oneself. 

Some people attend college to increase their knowledge. Admittedly, this aim can be obtained in college. However, knowledge is infinite while our time in the college is limited. If you really want to increase your knowledge the whole life time instead of remembering obsolete theories, you must learn the way to think. Once you have learned to think for yourself, you can get knowledge wherever you are.

Others think college is a good place for career preparation. A person can learn a lot of things which are useful in his career in college. However, considering the time and money you spent, maybe it is better to go to career directly, if you just want to gain work experience. Anyway, college is a theoretical place. Many things you learn in college may not be correct or helpful in business.

The ultimate purpose of going to college is to learn to think for oneself. In college, professors will show you how to analyze problems; classmates will discuss with you on you thought; libraries will provide you with uncountable books for you to develop your own theory: all the things above can not be obtained easily out of the college. That is why in college you can learn the way to think quickly. Once you understand how to think, you will have your own idea. You will know how to think critically, how to doubt and how to advance new ideas. Independent thought, that is the most important thing for a highly educated person. That is why the ultimate purpose of attending college is to learn to think for oneself.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-4-8 21:32:49编辑过]

tomatohead

Why People Attend College 

People attend college or university for many different reasons. However, I believe that the purpose of going to college is to learn to think for oneself. 

Some people attend college to increase their knowledge. Admittedly, this aim can be obtained in college. However, knowledge is infinite while our time in the college is limited. If you really want to increase your knowledge the whole life time instead of remembering obsolete theories, you must learn the way to think. Once you have learned to think for yourself, you can get knowledge wherever you are.(not clearly. Once you master the critical thinking method and self-taught theory, most likely you will be able to learn anything by yourself.)

Others think college is a good place for career preparation. A person can learn a lot of things which are useful in(to) his career in college. However, considering the time and money you spent, maybe it is better to go to career directly, if you just want to gain work experience. Anyway(too informal), college is a theoretical place(academic place). Many things you learn in(from) college may not be correct(practical) or helpful in business.

The ultimate purpose of going to college is to learn to think for oneself(I don't understand what does "learn for oneself" mean. You meat self learning?). In college, professors will show you how to analyze problems; classmates will discuss with you on(regarding) you thought; libraries will provide you with uncountable books for you to develop your own theory(study and find your own way of learning and analyzing): all the things(all the factors) above can not be obtained easily out of the college. That is why in college you can learn the way to think quickly(critical thinking and self-learning skills). Once you understand how to think(study and analyze), you will have your own idea(form your own method). You will know how to think critically, how to doubt and how to advance new ideas(remove). Independent thought(thinking), that is the most important thing for a highly educated person(every one). That is why the ultimate purpose of attending college is to learn to think for oneself.

Not very sound persuasive essay.

You should use comparison; say the positive of your view,and the negative of the other point of view; explain the negative consequences, etc. Use ample examples to support your standpoint.

On the other hand, you need to practice how to choose right words in writing.

Avoid using "you' regarding the readers.

[此贴子已经被作者于2007-4-16 23:47:37编辑过]