以下是引用HzO在2007-4-7 22:57:00的发言：LZ，我完全理解你发这篇贴的所言所感，大概源于我们有不少相似之处。同时我部分同意前面robinst和cicilla的回复。我想，有勇气发这样一个贴大概已经预示你在一个良性循环的开始了。所以真诚地祝福你！ 愿意再与你分享一点我的想法。其实，即使身处中国top 2的大学，部分人同样是在无比郁闷中度过的。而当回首往事，我惊讶地发现许多在我感觉非常痛的失败在更多人眼中却早已是个成功，（我相信你能理解我在说什么，手边的例子好比你当初“掉去”那个top 10的大学，好比我当初“掉去”我那个专业，不理解的人们甚至会批判这是show off，但其实不过是我们无法欺骗自己的心）；而许多我们跟着自己的心做的选择也不乏在旁人眼中是失败（只是随便举例，别无他意，好比你好大年龄了没有什么靠谱的男友，好比你没有去追逐更为人们向往的工作而是从事着另个不那么fancy的“低级”职业）。 某种程度上痛苦来源于“小时了了”大而“泯然众人矣”的对比，某种程度上来源于你了解自己的潜力却远未做到自以为的应该的高度，某种程度上来源于别人对于价值的判断动摇了你本初的价值观。但人生只有一次，没有人从不犯错从不走错路。。。 我觉得，本质上我们是一些自我意识很强的人，我们的问题也很明显，可以说“眼高手低”但也不完全是。除了你提到的懒惰，我不知道会不会还有不踏实，自我放任与逃避责任等其他的问题，我觉得我是有的。 很长一段时间，我总是觉得难于接受自己，那是一种奇怪的在自卑与自负间的摇摆。但放在人生这么长的坐标系中看，我逐渐觉得一个真正平和的心是值得追求的。不是说我们要无条件向自己的愚蠢和失误妥协，而是努力做到更加有容。目前我能想到的，除了继续也许是更加诚实地面对自己的内心，更重要的是在认识之后切实付诸行动。 说了这么多，也许会被质疑是站着说话不腰疼。不怕讲，我今年申请做得超级烂，以top 10的背景（G730/5.5,T104,top 2 univ, double Bachelor's degrees, GPA 2.7/3.55, w/e 3+ in an international firm) 只申了个30几的学校还没奖。以致身边许多人都劝我等一年重申。但权衡后我已经相信自己可以接受这一结果了。希望在不久的将来跟LZ一样重新出发。 ：） last night a to-be classmate questioned me why i appeared harsh to lz in my above comments but not just be nice and easy on her..... i replied that i just pointed out the truth, while hoping a sharp comment could in some moment help others realize their mistakes and grow...yes i am not always a nice person mostly because i don't disguise my comment even when it's bloody......shall i? why i took time to say the above words..??? i originally didn't really want to explain, but see H2O's sincere reply, and also wanted to clear the misapprehension from my peer. i went to the best high school in my region, became the no. 24 in the class...while all before that i was always the top 5 in the school. At the first day of my high school, i wrote on my notebook:
"Don't lie on the achievements of yesterday! It will not help you go far!" ---- At the mid-term, i was the No. 2....of course with very hard work that you can not imagine, considered i was with a group of genius.......This too-easy success was deadly...coz i lost the passion to stay hard working (always not the book-worm typle..)....i thought enough to just study hard in the 3rd year for the Gao Kao......then the 3rd year I stayed in a deep depression coz i experienced something i couldn't go through at that age...so by that means i didn't really study for 2 years in high school which finally put me into a 2nd tier university. i was very very gloomy to go that university, aware i disappointed my family, because i truly knew i could do much better, but i just didn't. i told myself i wanted to become someone boring and unfriendly so that i could avoid connecting with anyone..i told myself not to smile, not to talk much, not to be active.....I was glad i didn't really do that....i met lots lots of great friends in college, whose friendship helped me to dispel the fear of being betrayed by people. i still remebered one of my classmated told me: "A diamond will shine wherever it is positioned!" Though i strugged to get along with the professors ( it's uncomfortable to transfer from science environment to arts....i really did't like the 死记硬背 way of teaching in the arts major.) My first semster was a disaster....i was the headache for every professor, who found me sleep on class, not work on home assignments(背书, 背单词), insist own way and argue to learn language in real conversational way, argue in class.......i ranked the no.2 from bottom in final assessment which valued daily performance by professors.....am i sad??? Yes i felt ashamed when i looked at the ranking posted in the students' info board.....i went to check that list out during mid-night, and with tears i swore to myself i would shake up this ranking, and i did it. I still feel proud today, not because of the test scores, but the way how i handled it, and the self-consciousness i held to adapt to a boring (to me) classroom environment, at the same time, set my own plan to take on self-learning in other areas. I lived a very diversified and colorful college life, made lots of great friends, and took the most out of my four years! Yes believe me, in whatever environment, no matter how bad the situation is, YOUR ATTITUDE COULD MAKE A HUGE CHANGE!!! I believe most of you here hv enough intellectual capacity....i don't see many hv an IQ issue here in the mba application group..but very surprisingly I personaly met and talked with many many many very outstanding people with an EQ problem...i saw people keep on doubting themselves, with low-spirit. pessimistic, inpassionate in life, inconfident in their sucess.......those things are the real things that killed you, not anything else, not your brain, not your luck, not your limitation......... To smile, even with pain! ---- This is the motto i defined since high school. Really, it means, to handle setback, failure, frustration, unfairness, with a POSITIVE ATTITUDE. This helped me to achieve what i achieved today, and i am very much sure it will help me excel anywhere i go. (I don't really talk personal stuff on any forums....this be the first time, and hope my experience inspires.)
[此贴子已经被作者于2007-4-8 0:53:16编辑过] | 
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发表于 2007-4-7 00:35:00
