[求助]0601jj，AA016，谁帮我看看，拍拍砖，谢谢！

seasnow

感觉7宗罪不知道怎么用上去，糊里糊涂按照自己改编的魔板写了一篇，居然超时了两三分钟。

谁帮我看看需要注意什么问题，如何才能写好啊？谢谢了！

In this argument, the author states that in the next decade, it will be much easier for academic job seekers to get jobs in the college, and thus students with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University will have a better time finding such jobs. In order to substantiate this conclusion, the author cites as evidence the fact that demographic trends indicate an increasing number of people who will be reaching college age over the next ten years. An additional reason given in support of the Waymarsh example is that graduated students from Waymarsh University found it especially difficult to get jobs teaching their academic specialties at the college level in the past few years. However, closely examining the author's logic and reasoning, we find that none of these reasons provides sufficient support for the conclusion about the improvement of the job market. This argument suffers several serious flaws as follows.

In the first place, the author falsely rests on gratuitous assumption that increasing number of people who will be reaching college age will certainly leads to increasing opportunities to teach in colleges. However, no evidence is cited in the argument to support this assumption. Actually, this is not necessarily the case. For instance, it is possible that even though there are more and more competitors to come to the college, the universities decide not to recruit any more teachers.

In the second place, granted that the assumption about increasing opportunities of teaching at the college level will come true, we still can not come to the conclusion about the better situation in the Waymarsh University. Lacking information about the reason for which students with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially hard time finding academic jobs at the college level, we can not simply conclude that the situation will be better in the future. For example, a possible situation may be that most students in the Waymarsh University majored in fields that are already with plenty of teachers in colleges.

Since the author commits the above mentioned logical mistakes, this argument is unconvincing unless more essential information is provided. To strengthen the argument, the author must convince us that the job market for academic job seekers will grow as the people reaching college age increase. In addition, the author would also have to raise more evidence to show why finding academic jobs so hard for Waymarsh graduated students in the past and how will this situation be improved by the prospecting changes in the future.

laihong

以下是引用seasnow在2006-1-20 1:49:00的发言：

感觉7宗罪不知道怎么用上去，糊里糊涂按照自己改编的魔板写了一篇，居然超时了两三分钟。

谁帮我看看需要注意什么问题，如何才能写好啊？谢谢了！

In this argument, the author states that in the next decade, it will be much easier for academic job seekers to get jobs in the college, and thus students with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University will have a better time finding such jobs. In order to substantiate this conclusion, the author cites as evidence the fact that demographic trends indicate an increasing number of people who will be reaching college age over the next ten years. An additional reason given in support of the Waymarsh example is that graduated students from Waymarsh University found it especially difficult to get jobs teaching their academic specialties at the college level in the past few years. However, closely examining the author's logic and reasoning, we find that none of these reasons provides sufficient support for the conclusion about the improvement of the job market. This argument suffers several serious flaws as follows.

In the first place, the author falsely rests on gratuitous assumption that increasing number of people who will be reaching college age will certainly leads to increasing opportunities to teach in colleges. However, no evidence is cited in the argument to support this assumption. Actually, this is not necessarily the case. For instance, it is possible that even though there are more and more competitors to come to the college, the universities decide not to recruit any more teachers.这里的论证不是很好，既然你说作者没有证据证明．那么你就应该指出反例来驳倒他．并且你还要说因此他的结论有问题

In the second place, granted that the assumption about increasing opportunities of teaching at the college level will come true, we still can not come to the conclusion about the better situation in the Waymarsh University. Lacking information about the reason for which students with graduate degrees from Waymarsh University had an especially hard time finding academic jobs at the college level, we can not simply conclude that the situation will be better in the future. For example, a possible situation may be that most students in the Waymarsh University majored in fields that are already with plenty of teachers in colleges.

Since the author commits the above mentioned logical mistakes, this argument is unconvincing unless more essential information is provided. To strengthen the argument, the author must convince us that the job market for academic job seekers will grow as the people reaching college age increase. In addition, the author would also have to raise more evidence to show why finding academic jobs so hard for Waymarsh graduated students in the past and how will this situation be improved by the prospecting changes in the future.

太模板了，你应该首先指出作者是在原因上还是其他问题上有问题，　再进一步作者如何错的，举出反例驳倒他，最后否定他的结论．你可以看看ＥＴＳ的满分作文吧

seasnow

谢谢指点！：）总觉得时间不够想那么多事情。是不是应该在考试之前把题目都过一遍啊？

laihong

有时间最好看看,不过平时多写几篇就OK,主要是critical thinking.