刚刚写完第一篇作文，希望大牛帮忙改下

chinacola

Topic 2o you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

    The issue of whether parents are the best teacher is a meaningful yet contentious one which is much talked about when we are concerned about the education problem, since people hold different views on it not only because of their respective backgrounds but also due to their alien understandings. But I would have to say, if I were faced with this issue, I would probably disagree with it. In the following discussion, I will reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

   No issue is more important now than the one that communication is a basis to deal with everything, which, at most time, is absent between parents and children. As is known to us, there exists a “generation gap” making it hard to understand or accept each other’s idea. Children, especially teenagers, have their own outlook about the world. They like pop music, actions, and any other novel things, make friends with their standard and are interested in some certain field of study. At the mean while, their parents may make little of them, sometimes, even feel ridiculous. More over, they are prone to impose their values on their children. As a result, children don’t want to have a chat with their parents any more, so parents can’t find out what their children exactly think.

     That parents are not always eligible to be a good teacher is another head and chief reason I have chosen to put forward. We must admit that parents are the common person, and we can’t expect them to be generalists. They’re able to teach you one and one is equal to two, but can they help you with the complicated calculus, or even more professional field of study? Why I quote this example is only to explain that parents can be helpless in some circumstance.

Admittedly, it is true that parents give us much knowledge when we grow up. Not only do they help us with academic courses, they also teach us the attitude to the life and society. However, this alone does not lend strong support to the view parents are the best teachers. In fact, classmates, friends, books, jobs and even the society can be good teachers, or maybe the best.

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive. We may safely reach the conclusion that parents are not always the best teachers.

几点说明：

1，因为第一次，所以套了我们CD的一个经典format

2，会不会太长了一点（word统计超400字了）？一开始写论证段的时候担心弄不长，结果没说几句话（而且好像都是很白痴的话），就一大段了。总觉得写论证（就是中间三段的举例论证那些）最棘手，想写得好点嘛，超费时间，感觉短期不可能有很大提升；写简单点吧，又感觉似乎真的弱智了一点…

3，请大牛特别关注一下介词和短语的错误，很多都不确定；哦，当然还有一些可能的中式表达。

4，欢迎其他一切的拍砖

恩，先谢过了：）

farsuccess

Topic 2o you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

   The issue of whether parents are the best teacher is a meaningful yet contentious one which is much talked about when we are concerned about the education problem, since people hold different views on it not only because of their respective backgrounds but also due to their alien understandings(due to their respective background and distinct understandings). But I would have to say, if I were faced with this issue, (As for me) ,I would probably disagree with it. In the following discussion, I will reason and provide evidence to support my viewpoint.

   No issue is more important now than the one that communication is a basis to deal with everything, which, at most time, is absent between parents and children. As is known to us, there exists a “generation gap” making it hard to understand or accept each other’s idea. Children, especially teenagers, have their own outlook(s) about (for) the world. They like pop music, actions, and any other novel things, make friends with their standard and are interested in some certain field of study. At the mean while, (In contrast), their parents may make little of them, sometimes, even feel ridiculous. More over(Moreover), they are prone to impose their values on their children. As a result, children don’t (do not) want to have a chat with their parents any more, so parents can’t (cannot) find out what their children exactly think.

     That parents are not always eligible to be a good teacher is another head and chief reason I have chosen to put forward. We must admit that parents are the common person(s), and we can’t (cannot)expect them to be generalists. They’re (They are) able to teach you one and one is equal to two(the basic arithmetic), but can they help you with the complicated calculus, or even more professional field(s) of study? Why I quote this example is only to explain that parents can be helpless in some circumstance.

Admittedly, it is true that parents give us much knowledge when we grow up. Not only do they help us with academic courses, they also (but also they) teach us the attitude to the life and society. However, this alone does not lend strong support to the view (that) parents are the best teachers. In fact, classmates, friends, books, jobs and even the society can be good teachers, or maybe the best.

To sum up, given the reasons discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive. (无主句)We may safely reach the conclusion that parents are not always the best teachers.

1，注意正式写作中，不能使用缩写，除非是所有格。

2，注意有些句子用得非常滥了，不要借鉴，应当形成自己的东西。例如：sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive

chinacola

突然发现，语法区帮我解答的也是farsuccess诶：）

多谢哈～～

恩，看来模板还是不能直接套上用的。。。可是只有20几天了，感觉要形成自己的风格有难度啊

再多问下啊，这样的文章可以拿4。5吗？（呵呵，因为我目标就4。5了）

farsuccess

如果去除语法错误，5分都可以拿的。因为机考对语法错误比较敏感，用软件一扫描就知道了，有几个地方出了错误。

chinacola

哦～～

可是twe是机考吗？？我是11T，笔试啊

farsuccess

我以为你是机考：）笔试的托福，twe也笔试

那你也要注意语法和词汇的问题，结构要清楚，两个老师改，印象要好。