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新手第一次写作文,不是牛人,英语很次,希望大家多指导批评!

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楼主
发表于 2005-10-1 12:53:00 | 只看该作者

新手第一次写作文,不是牛人,英语很次,希望大家多指导批评!


153. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A zoo has no useful purpose. Use specific reasons and examples to explain your answer.



Whether a zoo has useful purpose is a controversial issue that people are allowed to have their own and different opinions. Many people may think that a zoo has no useful purpose, but others may prefer a zoo is very useful and has a number of advantages. If facing the question, I do strongly support the idea of a zoo has a lot of merits and is very useful. There are many instances in our life that can verify this point of view. And they are listed as follows.



There are numerous reasons why I prefer my opinions. In here I would only take a few of the most important ones. No issue is more important than this one that people can learn knowledge of nature by visiting zoos. Here are some examples that could give this point some light. When I was in my primary school, our nature class teacher always took us to visit the zoo. The purpose of him is to let us observe animals’ daily behaviors. He always told us that we should study the knowledge not only from the book and television, but also from the nature and zoos. We should see them, touch them and feel them for ourselves. Therefore, we can understand them more deeply. Don't you think that the examples quoted above are very persuasive?



Learning a lot of knowledge by visit zoos is only one small part of the important aspects, and another equally significant reason is that visiting zoo can help people relax. This is a widespread phenomenon which has numerous examples. The obvious instance may be that I remember when I was a child, I did not like to play in amusement park or watch carton movie in cinema. The only place I would like to go is the zoo. I would feel very comfortable and happy stay with animals. I remain this habit until now, every time when I feel very heave pressure, I will choose go to the zoo to relax myself. It is very magic that alter I leave the zoo, I even could not feel the heave stress anymore, and then continue working hard on my studies with confidence.



Furthermore, some experts maintain that zoos can help improve travel industry. This significant point, however, is often not noticed by most people and accordingly, is unconsciously overlooked, which means if you notice the advantages of visiting zoos more frequently, you will understand my point of view more deeply.



Admitted, as a proverb says, "everything has two sides".  The statement that zoos have no useful purpose also has some undeniable merits, such as a branch of animals will lose their freedom in order to view by people. This demonstrates that we have no complete evidence to suggest that visiting zoos is very useful and has lots of advantages is a perfect statement which has no drawbacks.



To sum up, if all the factors above are considered, we can find that the advantage of zoos has useful purpose outweigh these of zoos has no useful purpose. Therefore, given reason discussed above, which sometimes intertwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive, we can safely reach the conclusion that disagree with the title statement is always a wise decision.



希望大家多批评,顺便给我个分。因为没计时,所以是不是写得有点多了?

沙发
发表于 2005-10-1 22:23:00 | 只看该作者
结构不错,有些词的用法不是很地道。eg: travel industry should be tourism.字数最好写这么多。最后,如果觉得字数多了,或是写不完,个人建议减少点魔版里的废话
板凳
 楼主| 发表于 2005-10-2 04:24:00 | 只看该作者
I am in public library, so I only can type the English. hncsxj, thanks your suggestion. I still have a small question. What's score  I can get for this essay?
地板
发表于 2005-10-2 05:27:00 | 只看该作者

模板句子太多了,感觉有200多字了.下面几个有问题,粗略浏览


I would feel very comfortable and happy stay with animals


heave


I will choose go to the zoo to relax myself


in order to view by people

5#
 楼主| 发表于 2005-10-5 06:02:00 | 只看该作者
3Q!
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