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tina_aya

#128

这是我的第一篇作文,请大家帮忙看看吧,谢谢啰

Upon to the question that which is better, requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day or spending whole school say on academic studies.  Spending whole school day on academic studies has its advantage, but at the mean time, it also has many disadvantages, too.  In my opinion, I strongly agree with requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day.  There are many reasons supporting my views.

The first reason why I agree with requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day it that appropriated exercise can increase our health and patience.  As we know that if we need more time to study, we need more energetic.  If our body in bad situation, the studying effenicient will not better than health people.  And when we do sport, it also can train our patience, which can help us when we face the question in studying and we will do our best to dissolve it not just pass it away.

Yet for another reason is that appropriate relax can help us when studying. I can quote a common example. When I did math question for a long time, I faced the question during the processed.  I thought about thirty hours and still didn’t understand how to resolve.  So I decided to take a break and went outside for jogging.  When I came back after one hour, I could easy solve this hard math question.  So when spend a lot of time in hard question during studying and still can resolve, not just sitting there and thinking how to resolve.  Because at that time our thinking is tied together and we always think the way in the same place around.  Doing appropriate exercise can help us think other ways to solve.

Finally, breathing fresh air when during exercise can also increase memory and understanding.  There is a good evidence to show that when we stay all day in a small room for studying academic studies.  It doesn’t have fresh air in this small room and will hurt out health.  There is evidence that breathing air is good for body.  It not only can make our brand clearer but also increase our memory.  And it all can improve our studying efficient.

In conclusion, it must be exampled that these tree reasons sometimes intertwine to form the organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them.  After understanding my views above, it is quite safe now to say to choose requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day is a wise action.

farsuccess

Upon to the question that which is better, requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day or spending whole school say on academic studies.  Spending whole school day on academic studies has its advantage（s）, but at the mean time, it also has many disadvantages, too.  In my opinion, I strongly agree with requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day.  There are many reasons supporting my views. The first reason why I agree with requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day it (is) that appropriated exercise can increase (improve) our health and patience.  As we know that if we need more time to study, we need more energetic (need后面应当为名词：energy).  If our body in （the） bad situation, the studying effenicient (efficiency) will not (be) better than health(healthy) people.  And when we do sport(take exercises), it also can train our patience (our patience could also be trained indeed) , which can help us when we(to)face the question in studying and(so that) we will do our best to dissolve it not just pass it away. Yet for another reason is that appropriate relax (v. 不能做主语。用relaxation)can help us when studying(be beneficial to us). I can quote a common example. When I did math question for a long time, I faced the question during the processed.  I thought about thirty hours and still didn’t understand how to resolve（that I cannot solve after too much time thinking).  So I decided to ( At this time, I had better)take a break and went outside for jogging.  When I came back after one hour, I could easy(ily) solve this hard math question.  So when spend a lot of time in hard question during studying and still can resolve, not just sitting there and thinking how to resolve. (你不觉得你这句话缺少从句和主句的主语吗？） Because at that time our thinking is tied （blocked)together and we always think the way in the same place around(in the same way).  Doing appropriate exercise can help us think other ways to solve( vt.加the problems). ] Finally, breathing fresh air when during exercise can also increase memory and understanding.(句子结构有问题，什么是主语？和上面缺少主语的那句如出一辙）  There is a good evidence to show that when we stay all day in a small room for studying academic studies.（句子结构有问题，when引导状语从句，谁的状语） It doesn’t have （There is no )fresh air in this (the) small room and will hurt out health( so that our health will be hurted).  There is evidence that breathing air is good for body.  It not only can make our brand ( mind) clearer but also increase our memory.  And it all can improve our studying efficient(efficiency). In conclusion, it must be exampled that these tree reasons sometimes intertwine to form the organic whole and thus become more persuasive than any one of them.( 这个句子见得太多了，应当换成自己的话） After understanding my views above, it is quite safe now to say to choose （that choosing) requiring physical exercise courses in part of every school day is a wise action（你的后面是一个从句，不能没有引导词和主语）. 几点意见： 1。句子结构方面，应当加强，不能动不动缺成分； 2。词性总是用错，应当用名词的时候，不能用形容词；用副词，不用形容词，需要注意； 3。有的话换成自己的句子，太常见。

tina_aya

我想我要多加強,多寫幾篇...謝謝大大指導