KateLIAN的作文训练贴

KateLIAN

Various skills contribute to one’s success.Some people think that talents who specialized in one particular field areeasier to success. However, I disagree with that statement. As the cask effectreveals that the bucket’s capacity is determined from the shortest board, well-roundedpeople are more adaptable and knowledgeable in both business and science.

In this fast-developing society, the public’srequirement to commodity is not single at all. Only can aesthetic and practicalproducts bring consumers’ attention. This is proved by the triumphant of SteveJobs, the ex-CEO of Apple INC. Nowadays, all ages of group are appealed for Mac’selegant and concise outlook and system that other PCs do not own. Had the founder,Steve Jobs never dropped in on his calligraphy class to study, the Mac wouldhave never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaces fonts. Thanks to hisability combined with art, technology, imagination, etc, he created a fever and aferment of its array of products, which never happened in other computers or cellphones.

Meanwhile, scientists’ capability of multidisciplinarycollaboration is of great importance in science research. It is evident in the discoveryof DNA double helix which resulted from application of biology, chemistry andphysics. Getting inspiration of pictures of DNA crystal using X-ray diffractiontechniques, Wason and Crick modeled DNA molecule. This can be described as oneof the most profound findings in the history of biology and hence many newsubjects and techniques have mushroomed. If they had just confined to biologicalmethod and not sought for other solutions, they would not be famous for theirstudy. After that, they were awarded the Nobel Prize and every school middleschool student studies their great research.

Overall, compared with specialists,versatile people who master several skills have an advantage of noticing moredetails and aspects which may be decisive keys of success.  The more key factors they grasp, the more possibilityto become a successful man there will be.

KateLIAN

Some people argue that every student, even in different major, should attend in history class. I do not agree.

Admittedly, taking history classes has some benefits in deed. For one thing, students should gain a better understand with professional lecturers of current issue. And for another, student could take a lesson by historical serious event. For example, by learning the cruel and horrifying of the World Anti-Fascist War, student could know the precious of the world peace and avoid arousing another war if he obtains a decisive status in the future. However, the merits which can be gotten from a history class could also gain from other accesses. History seminars, TV shows and documentaries and history books are also organized by excellent experts and are all available to learn about history.

Initially, history classes bring more pressures for student. In order to guarantee the teaching content’s quality and knowledge integrity, student should have a history class every week, or even more. Meanwhile, most college students are bombarded by experiments reports and homework deadlines so that they do not have enough time to taking extra one or two courses per week. What’s more, is it necessary for a math major student to remember countless historical events and figures exactly? I don’t think so. Furthermore, all students have acquired basic history information when they are in middle school where regard history as a compulsory course and it is a burden and a waste of time for them to spend too much time in history

In addition, university, a place with academic freedom, should endow students the right of choosing optional classes they like. Everyone has his own likes or dislikes. There is a probability that the reason why many student study science in university is they just hate history. If the college push them to study history rather than encourage them to take part in what they like such as mechanical drawing or C programming language, students will be deprives of his right to pursue advanced study. It really do harm to students’ individual development and heart.

In a word, in order to reduce the students’ stress and respect their habits, university should not compel students to take history class.

pandrew

LZ好厉害~
第二段的Only can aesthetic and practical products bring consumers’ attention. 是不是应该陈述句语序呢？ Only A and P products can....    ?
总之值得我学习！

KateLIAN

pandrew 发表于 2015-11-3 20:29
LZ好厉害~
第二段的Only can aesthetic and practical products bring consumers’ attention. 是不是应该 ...

谢谢~，can的确不应该提前~
这里我以为要倒装的……语法都忘得差不多了

吃手抓饼的海狸

Various skills contribute to one’s success.（我个人倾向是喜欢介绍背景信息多一些）Some people think that talents who specialized in one particular field are easier to success. However, I disagree with that statement. As the cask effect reveals that the bucket’s capacity is determined from the shortest board(短板效应这句话很好但是我觉得怪怪的，题目并没说focus one skill的人就不成功，问的是哪个更容易成功，这个感觉用短板效应会怪怪的）, well-rounded people are more adaptable and knowledgeable in both business and science.(核心论点不切题，题目时become successful more adaptable and knoledgeable in both business and science≠successful 可以通过define success) （题目核心的字是easier 全文没有catch到 对象是try to acquire的people，也就是说我们主要要看他acquire的这个过程为什么让他更加容易变得success）

In this fast-developing society, the public’s requirement to commodity(?? ) is not single at all. Only can aesthetic and practical products bring(draw) consumers’ attention.（乍一看会觉得和人具备多能力更容易成功有一定偏差要落到人） This is proved by the triumphant of SteveJobs, the ex-CEO of Apple INC. (The products invented by SteveJobs, the ex-CEO of Apple INC, are good indicatosr of this theory.Nowadays, all ages of group are appealed（呼吁） for( attracted by） Mac’s elegant and concise outlook and system that other PCs do not own(distinguish it from other PC). Had the founder,Steve Jobs never dropped in on his calligraphy class to study, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaces fonts. Thanks to his ability combined with art, technology, imagination, etc, he created a fever and a ferment of its array of products, which never happened in other computers or cellphones. （so？？？为什么那些尝试学习多技能的人比专注一个技能的人更容易成功呢？？例子有点生硬，看下来觉得论证会比较偏，题目问的是multi-skill能不能让人更成功，主体是人，所以第一句看的时候讲commodity比较puzzle，全文有个很大的loophole就是缺少这两种人具备特征对成功的条件比较，还有一点就是看完还不是很清楚整段论点）

Meanwhile, scientists’ capability of multi disciplinary collaboration is of great importance in science research. It is evident in the discoveryof DNA double helix which resulted from application of biology, chemistry and physics. Getting inspiration of pictures of DNA crystal using X-ray diffraction techniques, Wason and Crick modeled DNA molecule. （我只想感慨一下好高能的样子……）This can be described as oneof the most profound findings in the history of biology and hence many newsubjects and techniques have mushroomed. If they had just confined to biologicalmethod and not sought for other solutions, they would not be famous for their study. After that, they were awarded the Nobel Prize and every school middleschool student studies their great research. （这段专业性强我hold不住，但是我觉得你的论证缺乏比较，缺乏比较题目问的两个主题就论证不出来为什么。）

Overall, compared with specialists,versatile people who master several skills（有了versatile我觉得这个定语可以去掉） have an advantage of noticing more details（专注一个领域的人也有更能注意到detail） and aspects which may be decisive keys of success.  The more key factors they grasp, the more possibilityto become a successful man there will be.

KateLIAN

Agree or disagree: the way of a person’s dress is an indication of his or her personality or character.

Speaking about clothing， a wide selection is posed in front us with the economic development. Because of different aesthetic consciousness, people make their choice from a pool of clothes. Opinions are up to tastes. And tastes are determined by personalities. I could not agree more that the way of wearing is a reflection of one’s character.

On the one hand, what color of your clothes do you like indicates what kind of person you are to some extent. It is believed that the one who likes red is independent and outgoing for red gives people a sense of fervent fire. As a representative of ocean and sky, blue often appeals to those with peaceful and quiet personality. Purple represents nobility and mysterious. White is elegant and pure. What’s more, bright colors stand for vigor and optimistic. While dark color is on behalf of low profile and composed. For instance, one of my best friends, tenderly and romantically, is a crazy lover of pink. We can identify our favorite color and find which personalities we incline to.

On the other hand, fabrics and materials are issues of great importance. In my point of view, soft cloth expresses active sense, which can be enjoyed by an energetic and outgoing person who will not be restricted with heavy shell. Lace, sexy forever, is confident and attractive women’s favorite. Companied with English style, Lattice is adorned by classical and neat person. Floral and polka point are loved by girls who are in a romantic and cute way.  Liked by concise and professional people, stripe represents tidy. As for me, people recognize me as a classical temperament girl, also reserved and quiet. I enjoy dressing good draping cloth with double breasted button, kind of military style. The design and outlook of a coat we like reflects which character we hold on.

In a nutshell, every person has their likes and dislikes. The reason why they are zealous or hate is depend on their own tastes and hobby. The intrinsic factor is their personalities that can indicate in their way of dressing.

Aaron.SUN

Speaking about clothing， a wide selection is posed in front （of)  us with the economic development. Because of different aesthetic consciousness, people make their choice from a pool of clothes. Opinions are up to tastes. And tastes are determined by personalities. I could not agree more that the way of wearing is a reflection of one’s character.

On the one hand, what color of your clothes （改为the colors of your clothes） you like indicates what kind of person you are to some extent. It is believed that the one who likes red is independent and outgoing， for red gives people a sense of fervent fire（加个逗号更明了）. As a representative of ocean and sky, blue often appeals to those with peaceful and quiet personality. Purple represents nobility and mysterious. White is elegant and pure. What’s more, bright colors stand for vigor and optimistic. While dark color is on behalf of low profile and composed(句子有点怪怪的，不过句群写得很好). For instance, one of my best friends, tender and romantic,（形容词） is a crazy lover of pink. So, from what I said above, We can identify our favorite color and find which personalities we incline to.

On the other hand, fabrics and materials are issues of great importance. In my （opinion就好）, soft cloth expresses active sense, which can be enjoyed by an energetic and outgoing person who will not be restricted with heavy shell. Lace, sexy forever, is confident and attractive women’s favorite（定语从句要好一点）. Companied with English style, Lattice is adorned by classical and neat person. Floral and polka point are loved by girls who are in a romantic and cute way.  Liked by concise and professional people, stripe represents tidy. As for me, people recognize me as a classical temperament girl, and a little reserved and quiet, because that I enjoy dressing good draping clothes with double breasted buttons and style of a little military. Thus, The design and outlook of a coat we like reflects which character we hold on.

In a nutshell, every person has their likes and dislikes. The reason why they are zealous or hate is（没有is） depends on their own tastes and hobbies(复数).（这句话不够点题） The intrinsic factor is their personalities that can indicate in their way of dressing.

整个文章写得很好，很有新意，例子再丰富一点，内容再丰满一点，有些句子有点中国化，继续加油！

KateLIAN

Do you agree or disagree: all the university students should be required to take history courses no matter what fields they study is.

GogoCai

Some people argue that every student, even in different major, should attend in history class. （这里加点转折类的词吧）I do not agree.

Admittedly, taking history classes has some benefits in deed. For one thing, students should gain a better understand（understanding ） with professional lecturers of current issue. And for another, student could take a lesson by historical serious event. For example, by learning the cruel and horrifying （缺成分，加个truth）of the World Anti-Fascist War, student could know the precious（preciousness） of the world peace and avoid arousing another war if he obtains a decisive status（这个表达貌似不太常见，试试achieves a decisive position） in the future. However, the merits which can be gotten from a history class could also gain(gained) from other accesses. History seminars, TV shows and documentaries and history books are also organized by excellent experts and are all available to learn about history.

Initially, history classes bring more pressures for student. In order to guarantee the teaching content’s quality and knowledge integrity, student should have a history class every week, or even more. Meanwhile, most college students are bombarded by experiments（experiment） reports and homework deadlines so that they do not have enough time to taking（take） extra one or two courses per week. What’s more, is it necessary for a math major student to remember countless historical events and figures exactly? I don’t think so. Furthermore, all students have acquired basic history information when they are in middle school where regard history(history is regarded 不然的话，where引导的从句缺主语) as a compulsory course and（, therefore） it is a burden and a waste of time for them to spend too much time in history

In addition, university, a place with academic freedom, should endow students (with) the right of choosing optional classes they like. Everyone has his own likes or dislikes. There is a probability that the reason why many student(students) study science in university is(缺成分，加that) they just hate history. If the college push（pushes） them to study history rather than encourage them to take part in what they like such as mechanical drawing or C programming language, students will be deprives of his（their） right to pursue advanced study. It（改为It'll） really do harm to students’ individual development and heart(hearts).

In a word, in order to reduce the students’ stress and respect their habits, university should not compel students to take history class.

KateLIAN

Question:
Students must take a class in which they learn a practical skill. School administrators are trying to decide whether to hold a class in cooking, managing personal finances or auto repair. Which do you think the school should require students to take? Why?


When school administrators pose choices for students that everyone should take a practical skill class among cooking, managing personal finances and auto repair, I think students should learn cooking. The reasons why I am inclined to cooking are as follows.

To begin with, cooking is an essential skill that students should pick up. As the old saying goes that food is of paramount necessity to people, we usually have three meals a day. Note that serious food safety problems in China, the food hygiene is an issue deserved to be concerned. Canteens’ diets are often greasy and experience. What’s more, you cannot know if they use fresh materials and operate in clean ways. If you can do it yourself, there is no worry to be served with food in bad condition. Signifying your capacity of living independently and healthily, cooking is a prerequisite skill.

In addition, cuisine is art and art is worth to enjoy. In the process of learning cooking, you see a magic when different components react with each other. You hear a tune when the pork chop sizzles on a fiery griddle. You smell a scent when bread rises in the oven. There is a catchword on the internet: never disappoint love and delicacy. In my point of view, it is a fantastic gratification to do a dish which feasts both our eyes and stomach.

Moreover, it is a sweet gift that you cook a meal for your parents and friends. On occasions such as the Spring Festival and mid-autumn festival, you will surprise you family and ease their burden if you can help your eldership in kitchen. In the context that you are able to cook cute cupcakes or cookies through you culinary class, it is also a good choice for you when you don’t know what gift you can send to your friend.

In a nutshell, cooking is an essential for life, an enjoyment for oneself and a pleasure for intimates. As a result, student should take a cooking lesson.